luka

Well-known member
Staff member
the europe of this thread is wholly human whereas scandanavia is the ahuman ideal. a sci-fi society. technocratic. devoid of humour and sexuality. generous welfare provisions. aryan looking clone people. all imperfection eradicated. the utopia that emerges from dystopia.
Barty has the advantage of having travelled to literally every country in Europe to impregnate their women.
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
You should move to London. Everyone's cool down here.
The thing with England is I hate the weather, the mentality, the culture, the politics, the media, the architecture, the attitude to football. Everything about it's grim and gives me the same horrible feeling as daytime TV. Just this terrible, dreary, mundane greyness. A country which feels like DFS adverts and Jeremy Kyle.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
The thing with England is I hate the weather, the mentality, the culture, the politics, the media, the architecture, the attitude to football. Everything about it's grim and gives me the same horrible feeling as daytime TV. Just this terrible, dreary, mundane greyness. A country which feels like DFS adverts and Jeremy Kyle.
You do get to avoid some of that in London cos it is a gleaming cyberpunk capitalist dystopia rather than something dreary and provincial. It's an inorganic alien life form constructing itself in the Thames river basin.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
devoid of humour and sexuality.
It amuses me that, at least in the Anglophone world, Sweden is regarded as the Urheimat of pornography, whereas in reality they have some sort of Minister for the Prevention of Sex and Fun who bans Lavazza adverts for being too racy, in case they oppress or objectify someone.
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
England sucks the life out of people. There's a house near me that has a palm tree in the garden and it's great, like a little ray of light.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
It amuses me that, at least in the Anglophone world, Sweden is regarded as the Urheimat of pornography, whereas in reality they have some sort of Minister for the Prevention of Sex and Fun who bans Lavazza adverts for being too racy, in case they oppress or objectify someone.
Barty told me he made a woman 'squirt' in Finland, by a lake, under some pine trees, with the snow falling gently. He said he half expected the emission to freeze in mid air and tinkle Downward like a falling wind chime.

So they can't be completely asexual.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Barty told me he made a woman 'squirt' in Finland, by a lake, under some pine trees, with the snow falling gently. He said he half expected the emission to freeze in mid air and tinkle Downward like a falling wind chime.

So they can't be completely asexual.
Finns don't count. They're virtually a different species.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
the europe of this thread is wholly human whereas scandanavia is the ahuman ideal. a sci-fi society. technocratic. devoid of humour and sexuality. generous welfare provisions. aryan looking clone people. all imperfection eradicated. the utopia that emerges from dystopia.
Or vice versa.
 

sadmanbarty

Active member
Barty told me he made a woman 'squirt' in Finland, by a lake, under some pine trees, with the snow falling gently. He said he half expected the emission to freeze in mid air and tinkle Downward like a falling wind chime.

So they can't be completely asexual.
i though this was one of those "barty says" things that luke just makes up, but this is about 50% true. there was no lake and it was summer.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
None of them are made up. Some are very slightly embellished to add to the mythos.
 

sadmanbarty

Active member
bermondsey is anti-europe. it's so trashy that in newspeak-fashion the word "sophistication" doesn't even exist.

alcohol is not savoured or enjoyed, it is a tool for self-punishment; vomiting your kabab out in the street, losing your handbag, causing you to get your head kicked in when you pick a fight with 15 millwall fans, exorcism-like hangovers.

there is no making love, only a cheeky fingering round the back of the chippy.

it's england.
 

entertainment

Active member
My friend owns a restaurant in Bairro Alto, it's on a beautiful street with a tram and a view of the river... but it's spoiled by loads of tourists sitting on the street drinking. Also loads of guys selling fake drugs preying on them. A few months back an mp or something walked down the street and kicked off in the press about the open drugs market so now the police raid it every few days. They station people at all the side streets and then come down from the top and suddenly see hordes of people legging it down the street and the police in the alleys trying catch them "like football goalies" as they run past. If theycatch them it's only an inconvenience cos they have no actual drugs and they are back next day at the latest.
The one with the tram stuck at the top? Rua da Bica something? Stayed on that this june during the street festival. It was nice, except for the non-stop kuduro blasted in the streets right below us spoiling any chance of a hangover nap.

Those guys with the fake drugs are relentless.
 

comelately

Wild Horses
bermondsey is anti-europe. it's so trashy that in newspeak-fashion the word "sophistication" doesn't even exist.

alcohol is not savoured or enjoyed, it is a tool for self-punishment; vomiting your kabab out in the street, losing your handbag, causing you to get your head kicked in when you pick a fight with 15 millwall fans, exorcism-like hangovers.

there is no making love, only a cheeky fingering round the back of the chippy.

it's england.
I think the Bermondsey Beer Mile is interesting, because although it's undoubtedly a more bourgeois experience than your regular common garden pub crawl....it kinda isn't really. You go to Bone Daddies afterwards instead of the Kebab shop maybe, the first pint or two might be 'savoured' slightly more maybe....but it's not really that different. The Brits are pretty aggy, terrible drunks regardless of class and other pretensions.
 
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