The dissensus personal defence armoury

IdleRich

IdleRich
Carrying a weapon is definitely something that has never ever crossed my mind. I mean, even if I was in a situation where I might need one (and I have been mugged quite a few times, at least twice at knife-point) I can't imagine that I would have the presence of mind to instinctively grab for it and use it And really, suppose, I'd pulled a knife out on this kid who stole our bags one time and I had got it out and, what, we'd had a fight? One of us could have been seriously hurt or killed - all over some money and cards and keys and stuff. It doesn't make sense to me. Even though the theft was hugely inconvenient as we were broke and so losing the money was significant and it turned out the girl with me had had her passport in the bag. But I really don't think that I ever carry something on me that protecting it would be worth changing the situation into one where lives could even potentially be at risk. So certainly I wouldn't carry any kind of weapon unless I had spent quite some time learning to use it properly, some kind of self-defence class or whatever, and I'm just never going to do that. I know that some of you (Padraig, Dan I guess) have done or do martial arts as an interest already so maybe it's different for you guys but for me it just doesn't seem to make sense.
I've been broken into a few times too in my life - sometimes been out of the house but sometimes been asleep, and it is a scary and invasive thing to deal with afterwards once it's happened but each case had something in common; I wasn't standing guarding the point of ingress ready to repel them and so I don't see that any weapon would have made much difference.
Of course, all of those incidents were in London or whatever, luckily in Portugal they haven't invented violent crime yet, maybe there are a couple of early adopters amongst Lisbon's hipster criminals but in Santa Iria it's not going to arrive for years I'd say. I don't do it deliberately, but I'm fairly sure could leave my car unlocked over night with valuable stuff visibly in it, and the flat is completely protected like Leo's cos we're on the floor that in the UK we would call 3rd (4th in US I think). I guess that being on the grounfloor was what made it such a target when we were in Hackney at first, although over the years that danger was gentrified out of existence too.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
He was living in some place in Philadelphia that had been unused for a while and some people broke in once he was living there and he jumped out of bed, put his pants on backwards and charged ot of the room with this sword someone had given him raised above his head, shouting "You get the HELL out of here!" and they all legged it.
I assume that was deliberate... pausing only to put a burning one-armed midget on his shoulder he yelled "reh fo tou LLEH eht teg uoy"
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
That's very sensible, Rich. Martial arts is this weird thing, 'cos if you're into it for self-defence, you are training for something you never want to use. The exact inverse of most hobbies and pastimes. And the fact that most people *don't* use it means you never know how useless it is. It's quite hard and horrible to fight for real, and most people aren't going to go and train to prepare for that on a Tuesday evening after work. Why would you? Weapons just seem to make the consequences higher.

I started reading lots of stuff by people like Geoff Thompson when I was training and that was great, 'cos it disabused of the notion that what I was doing had anything to do with fighting for real. I never used the stuff I learnt except for once when I just evaded a guy who was running at me and he crashed into a bin.

My teacher wrote a nice piece about self defence that I hope I still have somewhere. It said something like "training for it will seem irrelevant most of the time.The time that you need it, it will never seem more important". I haven't captured the poetry of it there.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Italian hooligans are mad. Some Inter supporters once tried to throw a burning moped at another set of fans inside a stadium.
I read that one tactic was that they would try and stab their enemies in the arse cos a) they wouldn't die so you were unlikely to be up for murder b) apparently it's very painful and bloody and c) it obviously has a subtext of implying the victim is gay.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Martial arts is this weird thing, 'cos if you're into it for self-defence, you are training for something you never want to use.
But obviously a lot of people are into it cos they like the idea of being a bit tasty and people of that kind are more likely to be longing for the chance to use it . They think that if a fight kicks off in a bar and, despite the odds originally appearing hopeless, they casually hospitalise a number of people without breaking a sweat and dispatch the last one with a pithy one-liner then they will gain the admiration of every man in the place and will have their pick of the ladies to do sex on.
Now I'm obviously not talking about you guys there and I'm sure there are plenty of others who get into this for genuine self-defence reasons or spirituality or whatever - but most of the people I've known who brag that they do karate and that they could kill me with their little finger are not in that category (I guess those who brag are a self-selecting sample of course).
 

Leo

Well-known member
a friend in Barcelona once had a junkie mugger walk up to him and put a knife right under his crotch, the tip of it pressing against my friend's balls. that'll get your attention.
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
But obviously a lot of people are into it cos they like the idea of being a bit tasty and people of that kind are more likely to be longing for the chance to use it . They think that if a fight kicks off in a bar and, despite the odds originally appearing hopeless, they casually hospitalise a number of people without breaking a sweat and dispatch the last one with a pithy one-liner then they will gain the admiration of every man in the place and will have their pick of the ladies to do sex on.
I reckon if you like that sort of thing, you'd just end up doing MMA, these days.
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
There's a clip of Matt Damon or someone on Graham Norton where he talks about doing all this training for a film then the trainer asks,

"You know what you do if someone comes at you with a knife, right?"

"Yeah, all the stuff you've been showing me."

"Run."
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
I read that one tactic was that they would try and stab their enemies in the arse cos a) they wouldn't die so you were unlikely to be up for murder b) apparently it's very painful and bloody and c) it obviously has a subtext of implying the victim is gay.
Yeah, I've heard that about Rome in particular.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
a friend in Barcelona once had a junkie mugger walk up to him and put a knife right under his crotch, the tip of it pressing against my friend's balls. that'll get your attention.
My friend had a funny story of being mugged in Mexico City. I can't remember the full details but he was walking through a market and I think they kinda shoved him into an empty lot between two stalls where he was hidden from the crowds, and put a knife to his balls. What made it funny was the way he told how he - unsurprisingly - agreed to give them all his valuables, but this involved him searching through all his pockets amd his rucksack and passing over the useless (to a robber) stuff which they kindly held in a neat pile as he dug deeper. He enacted the exchange for me which was conducted in his rudimentary Spanish and this imbued it all with a weird kind of formality as he was thanking them for holding stuff and excusing himself for the time taken and so on, and they recognising the limitations of his Spanish seemingly replying in kind and then poiitely helping him re-pack the bag minus valuables at the end - all the while with the blade pricking his testes.
Though it was much funnier with him describing it than with me describing his description. And I doubt even he found it THAT funny at the time.
 
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version

Who loves ya, baby?
But obviously a lot of people are into it cos they like the idea of being a bit tasty and people of that kind are more likely to be longing for the chance to use it . They think that if a fight kicks off in a bar and, despite the odds originally appearing hopeless, they casually hospitalise a number of people without breaking a sweat and dispatch the last one with a pithy one-liner then they will gain the admiration of every man in the place and will have their pick of the ladies to do sex on.
Now I'm obviously not talking about you guys there and I'm sure there are plenty of others who get into this for genuine self-defence reasons or spirituality or whatever - but most of the people I've known who brag that they do karate and that they could kill me with their little finger are not in that category (I guess those who brag are a self-selecting sample of course).
My dad knew a guy back in the 80s who could do that sort of thing, although not in the glamorous, one-liner way. He'd just start bar fights and take on three, four people at a time and kick the shit out of them all. Apparently he was a bully and an absolute prick. He'd "practice" on drunk people staggering back from nights out and stuff. A real Begbie from Trainspotting type.
 

woops

is not like other people
absolute madness in this thread, i will stick to the music forum from now on, though i feel like someone's about to ask me "have you changed your mind?" with a billhook
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
Wait 'til WashYourHands appears. He's probably got a cricket bat covered in barbed wire and the dried blood of his enemies.
 
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