I used to work with someone who was very possibly a compulsive liar – he told everyone he’d joined the army at 18 and been deployed in Derry. The war stories started off mild but became more extreme with each telling…legs being blown off by bombs in booby-trapped Coke cans, IRA men dressed as nuns running around with RPG launchers in prams, etc.

He said he then moved to LA when he was 20 – I have no clue if you can just leave the British Army like that – and set up a shop selling trousers in Venice Beach with a future member of Guns N Roses. He was also shot at by a Mexican gang-banger while chilling in his car. Women would hear his accent and swoon, and Californian women were the best-looking in all the United States: they just walked around in bikinis and high heels all day. He also said a load of nomads lived in Death Valley, and they have strange skin, like actual bronze, and elongated heads.

He also ran a bar there and numerous Hollywood actors would come in for a drink, tip him hundreds of bucks and invite him to all the best parties. He also had sex with a very popular and successful ‘80s actress in a swimming pool, but he wouldn’t reveal who.

Knowing that he got lost in a German airport and missed his flight, and rang work in a panic asking what to do because they wouldn’t accept his GBP, I’m not sure any of the above is true. But I enjoyed listening to these tales of Bullshit California over a pint and a fag. Never been myself, would rather do Vegas first.



Beast of Burden
wow that's cool, i'm going to read that

the only thing i don't like about the song is that the first voice you hear is Sal Bernardini her then boyfriend and musician in her band, i wish she was singing the whole song

Don’t get too excited, it’s not actually “about” the song


Well-known member
bought and loved this at the time, but it's a song that seems sillier with each passing year

Like, if only Jerry Brown had become President instead of Reagan

I bet Jello voted for Brown to be Governor of California again in the 2010s.

If he didn't, he's a dick.