films you've seen recently and would NOT recommend

bruno

est malade
hard candy.

unbelievably cruel, implausible, morally wrong, ikea furnished filth like i have never seen before. the whole thing reeks of misandry, it's sickening. as if relations between the sexes aren't difficult enough.

how bad is it that i was cheering for the paedophile and wanted to see the little girl die or be decapitated, which never happened unfortunately. please don't see this, i beg you.
 

martin

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I recently tracked down a V-CD copy of the notorious Hong Kong Category 3 film "Ebola Syndrome". Unlike other Cat 3 trash classics like "Robotrix" and "Naked Killer", this isn't even so stupid it's funny, it's just bad. Loads of retarded depictions of rape, decapitation, blood squirting everywhere, etc. Plus the fact it seemed to go on for 3 hours didn't help. See "Robotrix" before you die though, that's ace.
 

matt b

Indexing all opinion
hot fuzz is poor. everyone's being really polite about it given the work pegg/wright/frost have done previously.


'cold mountain' fcuking woeful. the bbc even had the gall to keep me up 15 minutes longer than necessary by doing the itv trick of putting the news on half way through
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Cat 3 trash classics like "Robotrix" and "Naked Killer"
Is Robotrix the one where the police build a robotic prostitute to catch the lunatic who is killing all of the prostitutes?
 

Octopus?

Well-known member
I recently tracked down a V-CD copy of the notorious Hong Kong Category 3 film "Ebola Syndrome". Unlike other Cat 3 trash classics like "Robotrix" and "Naked Killer", this isn't even so stupid it's funny, it's just bad. Loads of retarded depictions of rape, decapitation, blood squirting everywhere, etc. Plus the fact it seemed to go on for 3 hours didn't help. See "Robotrix" before you die though, that's ace.
In the "Ebola Syndrome"'s defense (not that it really deserves any) the sequence where Anthony Wong just runs down the street spitting at people and yelling "Ebola! Now we die together!" achieves a kind of grand guignol glory.

I found "Ebola..." less objectionable than the other Wong-starrer "The Untold Story" where he
dismembers an entire family, including their three children, in one long uninterrupted sequence and rapes a woman with a handful of chopsticks until blood cascades over the tabletop
.

"Naked Killer" is excellent, though. Love the idea of female assassins honing their fighting skills against leering rapists chained in basements.
 

martin

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Is Robotrix the one where the police build a robotic prostitute to catch the lunatic who is killing all of the prostitutes?
Sort of, yeah...it's a bit more bonkers than that, but you're on the right track
 
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martin

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In the "Ebola Syndrome"'s defense (not that it really deserves any) the sequence where Anthony Wong just runs down the street spitting at people and yelling "Ebola! Now we die together!" achieves a kind of grand guignol glory.
Yeah, I suppose that was OK, I could've just done without the hour and a half preceding that bit. Incidentally, the end bit with the kid and the dog hinted they were leaving it open for a sequel...please don't tell me they made a part 2...
 

mms

sometimes
miami vice
shit
can't hear any of the script.
nothing going for it, the female interest is really boring and you'd have to be desperate to find her interesting.
 

gumdrops

Well-known member
iklimler - Climates

this was just terrible i thought. every art house film cliche you could imagine was in there. terible performances, stiltedness and awkardness which might be 'realistic' in the context of the breakup in the film, but just incredibly painful, agonising and dull to watch. more than that, it was just amateurish, not so much 'tense' silence as just empty wordless vacancy made to look like something more meaningful (which it isnt). im sure half the film is just taken up with closeups of the girl in there looking at fuck all and revealing nothing. ive no idea what so many critics liked about this so much.
 

MATT MAson

Streetonomics
miami vice
shit
can't hear any of the script.
nothing going for it, the female interest is really boring and you'd have to be desperate to find her interesting.
This film was so terrible. I had high hopes.

I recently got this, The Da Vinci Code and A Scanner Darkly in the same day via Netflix. I only managed to sit through Scanner Darkly til the end and was disappointed (I guess Da Vinci Code was my own fault).

All three films were pretty bad, and all three contained leading men with questionable mullets. Which led me to the conclusion that unless you're Patrick Swayze in the 80s, never be a leading man with a mullet. You'll jinx the whole movie.
 

alo

Well-known member
Shittish Film

hot fuzz is poor. everyone's being really polite about it given the work pegg/wright/frost have done previously.
Yeah, you can almost here the whole of the British film Industry willing it on. I have to admit that i haven't seen it, but thats because it looks shit.
A Hollywood action cop thriller set in a West Country village! Ha Ha! Hilarious! Well done boys.
A really tired idea at best.

A British film cheerleaded-to-fuck i saw recently that i thought was going to be shit and wasn't, was Vera Drake when it was on TV a couple of weeks ago. I loved the way the stunted emotion (however cliche in terms of the era it was depicting) were absolutely excruciating: The "I'll put the kettle on" remedy to real emotional trauma and dysfunction. It was kind of heartbreaking.

(i think someone should start a thread on the state of the British Film Industry incidently)
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Yeah, you can almost here the whole of the British film Industry willing it on. I have to admit that i haven't seen it, but thats because it looks shit.
A ! Ha Ha! Hilarious! Well done boys.
A really tired idea at best.
I suppose it is rather a latecomer to the whole Hollywood-action-cop-thriller-set-in-a-West-Country-village genre...

Why don't you watch it and decide for yourself? You might be surprised.
 

alo

Well-known member
I suppose it is rather a latecomer to the whole Hollywood-action-cop-thriller-set-in-a-West-Country-village genre...
I suppose it is rather a latecomer to the whole British-TV-comedy-writer-goes-Hollywood-and-ends-up-looking-a-bit-of-a-nob genre...
 
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