Your most tenuous or absurd claims to fame

martin

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My dad used to drink with Patrick McGoohan when the latter bought a pig farm near Totteridge Park. He also once heckled Enoch Powell at a union meeting in the 1960s.

My brother nicked the UK Decay singer's girlfriend at a gig, and used to hang around with one of Hank Marvin's sons (not the one who OD'd).

I used to see cultural commentator Bidisha at gigs and falling over on trains, back when she was just a fanzine writer. Speaking of cultural commentators, I've also met Dick Hebdige (complete fag ponce) and Stuart 'Policing the Crisis' Hall, we sat chatting at a bus stop in New Cross waiting for the 36 to turn up.

My mate Mark fucked the girl from the early 90s Sunkist adverts, I think her name was Sally?

I had a sordid long-running affair with the younger sister of a Muslim commentator who's just had a book published.

Ian Brown once told me I was in a completely drunken state in the reggae section of Out On The Floor, I didn't even know who it was til I left the shop and loads of nerds were milling around outside talking about him.

I once had a fag and a pint with Gary Clail.

My sister's ex-husband's dad, who was a money-grabbing quack, was exposed by News of the World in 1986 for flogging some sort of 'tapeworm treatment' to obese people. My other sister used to live in the same block in Kings X with Shane and Spider from the Pogues, and her mate Jerry used to help put on their early gigs.

I once saw the bloke who used to play Sanjay in Eastenders, he was walking through Soho and some drinkers were yelling "Gee-tah" at him, in spastic voices - he flipped out and started swearing and going 'Come on then!' - a sorry sight.

I met Nemesis the Warlock in a comic shop when I was 12.

Graeme Le Saux once gave me two fingers after I shouted abuse at him at a Spurs - Chelsea match.

My ex-flatmate Andy's model sister was once harrassed in Blackpool by Keith Harris (of 'Orville' fame), who ended up trying to kick down her hotel door and sobbing 'I love you' through the keyhole.
 

Lichen

Well-known member
My ex-flatmate Andy's model sister was once harrassed in Blackpool by Keith Harris (of 'Orville' fame), who ended up trying to kick down her hotel door and sobbing 'I love you' through the keyhole.

Like a very, very low-rent version of Lost in Translation.
 

swears

preppy-kei
My sister's ex-husband's dad, who was a money-grabbing quack, was exposed by News of the World in 1986 for flogging some sort of 'tapeworm treatment' to obese people.

My ex-flatmate Andy's model sister was once harrassed in Blackpool by Keith Harris (of 'Orville' fame), who ended up trying to kick down her hotel door and sobbing 'I love you' through the keyhole.

Fantastic, these are the best ones so far.
 
My dad used to play cards with Pete Waterman (not the record producer but the boxer, Denis (minder) Waterman's brother.)

I saw Pete Waterman (the record producer) in a sandwich shop in Borough.
 
N

nomadologist

Guest
i have a lot of these, but my favorite is:

i had sex in alfonso cuaron's bed. several times. not with him.
 
S

simon silverdollar

Guest
comedian/author/mischief-maker mark thomas often comes in to buy cheese from the shop i work at. i lend him CDs sometimes. he likes The Besnard Lakes and The Monks.
 
S

simon silverdollar

Guest
once i was sat at the table next to john pilger's in a restaurant and he had some kind of seizure and had to be taken away in an ambulance. we looked sympathetically over our soup.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
once i was sat at the table next to john pilger's in a restaurant and he had some kind of seizure and had to be taken away in an ambulance. we looked sympathetically over our soup.

Maybe someone let slip that one of the ingredients in his dinner had come from Amerikkka....
 

PeteUM

It's all grist
I spotted Phil Collins :)slanted: ) TWICE in Guildford in the mid-80s. First time he was looking at greetings cards in WH Smiths. I got some weird kind of adrenalin rush because I'd never seen a famous person before. The next time I saw him he was trying to get into his flash car that was beeping furiously and he couldn't work out how to make the gadget make it stop, and everyone was looking. I didn't get any adrenalin this time. I think it wears off after the first interface with Collins.

Other Genesis-related tenuousness, while I'm here.

I walked past a small group of walkers once and my mate said "bloody hell, that was Anthony Phillips!"

A member of Genesis (who I forget) donated some clothes to Save The Children, the Guildford branch of which was run by a mate's mum, and my mate and a couple of others were dressed in ex-Genesis clothes for weeks afterwards.

That's it.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
A mate of mine was stood behind Brian May in a London Waitrose the other day.

I've noticed that a good few of the posts in this thread are about him. He must be some sort of random-celebrity-spotting slag.
 
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nomadologist

Guest
my number one disappointment in seeing celebrities is always that they're so much shorter than you'd imagine
 

STN

sou'wester
Pete Doherty and Will Self are both ever so tall but other than that, they are always awful short aren't they, these celebrities?

I stroked Tracy Emin's dog (yes, yes, alright, there's no other way of putting it so get your mind out of the gutter) on Saturday.
 

matt b

Indexing all opinion
At school in Yorkshire in the 50s, my mum was friends with Richard Whiteley's older sister. She used to go to the Whiteleys' house to play, and Richard would run in and disrupt their games the way little brothers do (probably making a bad pun as he went).

mr whiteley, who i once sat opposite on the train home, used to buy cheap cheese from our local costcutters.


my sister de-flowered g4z from 5up3rgr455.
 
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swears

preppy-kei
I don't really have any heroes, but if I liked someone's art/music/writing/whatever and they turned out to be a prick, then it would sour their work for me I guess. I know it's not really logical, because everybody is a prick to someone at one time or another, but still...

I wouldn't really want to meet anybody famous anyway, these people who pay money to hang out with Michael Jackson and things like that, I mean how weird are they?
If somebody makes music for the sake of music without really having "a persona" (like Burial for instance) then there's no reason to want to meet them in the first place anyway.
If their whole thing is creating an image (like Madonna or Prince) then encountering them as a "real" person is missing the point, and probably anti-climatic.

You ever see that documentary about stalking Pete Doherty? Both the stalker and Doherty came across as really needy, fucked up people. Once at a club in Liverpool a mate asked if I'd like to meet a couple of guys from the Coral that he was talking to at the bar. I said "I'm not bothered, I can't stand their music." His reply was "Yeah, but they're famous!" So fucking what?
 
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nomadologist

Guest
it's pretty hilarious to watch a celebrity try to make a grand entrance in NY, only to find no one notices or cares. the crestfallen looks! i remember one of the girls from America's Next Top Model doing that in Virgin Megastore. hilarious.
 

HMGovt

Bamber Clatscoigne
I saw Michael Winner coming out of his house and being guided to his car one Sunday afternoon recently. Was looking very shaky on his feet, using sticks. Frail. Check him out on the new esure ads. Not long for this world.
 
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