bloody depressed

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
yes yes mr tea can laugh at me if he likes :crylarf: but I am lamentably human as well.

been like this forever and taking walks/getting fresh air just seems to make it 10x worse. don't really have mates left anymore, not after i was sectioned. not sure what to do about it.
 

luka

Well-known member
Dunno either. Life is depressing more often than not and only sociopaths get thorough it without suffering.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
yeah i should have been a sociopath really. having a sense of ethics and integrity is a hindrance to living a fulfilling life.
 

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
It’s a really tough one third.

One problem is that being depressed immunises you from taking advice (especially a clever clogs like you). Any advice anyone gives, you can rip it’s logic to shreds. When you’re depressed everyone talking to you about it just sounds inane and clueless (which then goes on to be really frustrating because then you feel people don’t even understand you).

The way it works at least for me is that you get this huge build up of anger and aggression that has nowhere to go and after a while there’s almost this sense of learned helplessness. You get this rage followed by this emptiness.

As far as advice goes it’s hard to say. It is a thing that people do just stumble out of sometimes. There’s all the medical stuff about exercise, sleep and all that. Routine’s fairly important; an empty directionless day is easily consumed by angry thinking.

My personal thing for you would be get a blog. Really properly work hard on bits of writing. Tell yourself that every Friday (or whatever day) you are going to publish a 1000 word blog that’s proper wicked. Redrafted, researched, not throw away, not non-commital. Proper pristine third genius.

Whatever takes your fancy. One week it might be some brilliant techno sci fi take on Islam, then the next week it’d be about communism, then the week after that it’s about rare groove. Just follow your whims, but do a proper job of it. On dissensus you’ve already got a dedicated audience (that includes a famous writer among its ranks). I personally think you’d feel better.

As far as friends go, no bloke after the age of about 16 who isn’t completely thick has mates. They just have their girlfriends mates who make want to hang himself because they’re so bland.
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
Is there any possibility you can see someone? There's a few low cost counselling places around if you're skint (I work at one). It can be really useful.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
Sorry to hear that Third. I don't think there's necessarily any way to know beforehand what would work without trying it, but Barty's suggestion is really good. You have a really unique and interesting perspective on a whole load of things, and more people should know about it.

And to echo Danny, low cost counselling places can be really good. Even if you're sceptical, having the experience and the routine itself can be worthwhile.
There's a list here if it's any use http://www.southeastlondoncounselling.org.uk/lowcost.htm , and there's a whole load more in London as well.
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
Yeah, I'd be up for seeing Thirdform, the collected works also. You do have an interesting perspective and know shit loads about obscure music. Would be really cool to see these combined in some long(ish) form pieces
 

Leo

Well-known member
third, you've become key to this forum, and that means you impact the daily thinking of many freaks around the world who come here everyday. I'm thankful you're here, and selfishly look forward to the collected works or any other damn thing you feel like posting.
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
HMU if you want a divination as well. I like doing readings for other people and am learning a new system so keen to practice. Won't solve all your problems but can generate insight.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
yeah im not gonna say anything much rn but thanks for all the advice cos barty's right i can rip the logic to shreds if i was so inclined for an argument.

just really lonely and unable to concentrate i guess.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
Not much. mum and dad are offloading their own trauma and their own dysfunctional marriage onto me and not chatting to each other. my brother has severe learning disabilities and i don't want to call the cops, much less get the state involved. but everyone is impervious to my thinking, as always. even though i have everyone's best interests at heart. and then they wonder why i feel like I'm being kept on life support.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
but you know I'm irrationally angry and everything aren't am I. So no I can't ever think thoughtfully.

and then people wonder why I'm still unable to leave my room most days. well if you constantly pathologise it...
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
I don't need counselling I need people to actually listen attentively to what I'm saying because I have solutions. people don't want to take them and I have to suffer with the consequences.

Feels like im going mad. 'I don't know what to do.' 'I can tell what you could be doing, A, B, and C.' 'but I don't know what to do' 'well I gave you some starters'
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
Yeah, people often don't want to listen to good advice. That refusal can point to something else. Idk here. Hard to tell at a remove.
 

craner

Beast of Burden
My personal thing for you would be get a blog. Really properly work hard on bits of writing. Tell yourself that every Friday (or whatever day) you are going to publish a 1000 word blog that’s proper wicked. Redrafted, researched, not throw away, not non-commital. Proper pristine third genius.

Definitely the thing to do. Nothing is better than creating something.
 

entertainment

Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear that, third. Sounds like you're in a shit situation and are one of those people who take it all in, contrary to us sociopaths who put up filters and convince ourselves the world is too absurd to care anyway. That being said, I've never been in your circumstances and have no idea how I would suffer psychologically.

I don't know if there are answers to find, but some people do find them, maybe they make them themselves, but I think they're still real.

Everytime you post something, it seems the thing becomes more interesting in this very refined, eccentric way that I never have the smarts or knowledge at my disposal to respond to - let's be honest, your thoughts do require some energy to engage with - so I would personally prefer if you kept posting here, but I do think getting off the internet completely could be a good idea as well.
 
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