Your social self

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
I'm sometimes a bit envious of people who are genuinely witty, but that can turn to dislike when, consciously or not, they go overboard with the nonstop effort to be funny. comes off as trying to hard to be the life of the party. less is more.

my dad's very, very square norwegian brother in law once shouted at him "ok you're not interested in me, fine i'll stop talking" because my dad kept making jokes. to be fair the bloke was talking about his watch, so it wasn't exactly riveting.

my mum's brother (who's a moron) always talks about how my dad was very funny but he didn't stop so you couldn't have a proper conversation.

my dad's very keen to please and as i said to joseph k, it's the stuff we do to compensate for our insecurities that actually repels other people.
 

sufi

lala
all this about self-consciousness and insecurity rings only distant bells for me. which i think is due to my age, i passed all that nervousness now, mostly

what i do find nowadays though which is disturbing and kind of similar maybe to Bartyism:

As an old white guy, people increasingly assume i'm just some cunt - i mean i probably would if i saw me. it's hard to remember that this is how i may appear cos actually as you all know, i'm a groovey guy and, importantly, a right on geezer, and an ally to all persons of minority for many many years, genuinely.

i kind of take for granted that i can be that right-on geezer and perhaps skip through the social niceties that are perhaps needed to establish what's what for someone who never met me before - particularly if they are not a white priveleged male type, which occasionally is misinterpreted as just being a cunt, possibly more often than i realise. tricky.

i need a fucking badge or tattoo
 

luka

Well-known member
Haha! I can see how that might happen. Our faces turning into generic middle aged white man
 

luka

Well-known member
Found this on the cocoon thread

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I was saying earlier in the thread I don't think online interaction is necessarily a degraded form of communication. I think it allows for things which face to face interaction makes difficult. I've always been vocal and outgoing once I'm certain of my space and I feel comfortable but I'm not one of those people who are immediately at ease in any room they walk into. Because I worked in hospitality for so many years I learned different tricks for taking some of the intensity out of communication, different ways of distancing myself. You stage a performance, make it a kind of game.
https://deepmeditationtherapy.blogspot.co.uk/
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20-09-2019, 05:06 PM #28 luka luka is online now
Beast of Burden
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Meeting people from online is easy cos they already know who you are, what you do, how you communicate. So there's no period of having to establish that. You can carry on the conversation you were already in the middle of anYway.
https://deepmeditationtherapy.blogspot.co.uk/
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I'm still trying to work out my dad's politics. He hates pretty much everyone, but women in particular, he thinks Corbyn's clueless, scruffy and hopeless, he can't stand bureaucracy/management-types etc, he thinks Brexit's completely stupid, he hates the Tories, he thinks someone needs to shoot Trump, he moans about political correctness a lot, hates fat people, prides himself on not understanding technology whilst constantly going on abut how ignorant people are and how they don't understand things like climate change and the damage of a sedentary lifestyle, he goes on about Gordon Brown selling the gold reserves whenever someone mentions Gordon Brown, he hates nationalists and says people who want Brexit think we're gonna win the day with spitfires etc but loves WW2 films like The Battle of Britain and gets really fired up when it shows the Germans being all cocky. He says Thatcher was right to smash the unions, but hates her politics (and probably the fact she was a woman). He likes William Hague because his dad liked him. When I've asked him who he'd vote for he says Green.



That's my dad's kind of humour. He thinks telling vegans stuff like the problem with abattoirs is that they're too sexy is really funny.

version's dad for PM!
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
i'm very much of that persuasion that jokes are completely divorced from the real world. i genuinely feel you can joke about anything and it's not a bad thing..

I'm with you on this, inside my head it's all just floating, weightless signifiers. Where I think they interface with the real world is in exciting emotions. I don't like making other people feel bad. In company, a joke is as funny as the company allows it to be.
 
Good thread. Self-obsessed neurotic wankers. Its funny I like this forum, you all, because I usually find chat with groups of men a bit stilted and exhausting. A massive generalisation but there can be pressure for conversation to be about stuff, a bit linear, whereas with women conversation can feel more free and I think I’m a bit less guarded, more emotionally honest. And then there’s that flirtatious flow that has that weird intimate charge of unsaid things and subtext, when you’re just roaming around and playful and enjoying the other person, that’s the best buzz, that’s when I think I enjoy myself most.

I think there’s a level of flirtation with good male mates too. But mostly I find the inability to acknowledge you like each other hilarious, it’s loosened up as I got older but with some people it’s never even spoken of.
 
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