crappest party you've ever attended

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
PS anyone here stupid enough to have had a teen party at their parents' house?

Yes. Although I wasn't stupid enough to have spoilt idiotic cunts for friends, so damage/mess was pretty minimal.
(this must have been inspired by the girl who sent round the invitations with "wreck my parents' house" on them, right?)
 

STN

sou'wester
Partly, yes. People really used to (and apparently still do) go hell for leather smashing up people's houses (I did not) it was really pretty dire.
 

martin

----
We hosted our own party once when we used to live at 38A Camberwell Church Street. Never again. Organising it was a pain in the arse, someone opened up the plaster on all of the walls with a stanley knife and carved USA and 'A' symbols everywhere, someone invited two girls in off the street who ran off with all the booze (which I couldn't be mad about, it was karma). The problem was, the place was on three-levels above an insurance shop and was really cramped, so there were people falling off balance down the stairs and suffocating in the kitchen. I seem to remember us (the inhabitants) losing it, one of us booting a door off its hinges and telling everyone to fuck off home because we wanted to go down some club in Brixton instead and couldn't leave them all there. Next day we looked at the walls and realised we either moved out straightaway or got killed by the landlord. I've never forgiven that idiot with the knife for that (he was actually not a bad person otherwise), we lost some really nice bedrooms for 30 quid a week which was good going back then.
 

Lichen

Well-known member
I was attacked by a co-worker at a terrible office away day/party. I touched on his baldness (in conversation) and he starting hurling steak knives at me.


At 2 am I decided I was in real danger and tried to book a taxi to get me back to Bristol (from Exeter). I then rang (and woke) my wife to tell her I was trying to get home and that this horrid, bald fuck-wit was after me. She told me to go to bed, which I did.

I was fired from the job a couple of months later for nodding off in a meeting. Go figure.
 

STN

sou'wester
They were very cool, and things were looking up until I got home to find that my Mum had been on the receiving end of several phone calls from my mate's girlfriend's Dad - apparently she had helpfully given him our number.

And was he a nasty bloke?
 

john eden

male pale and stale
And was he a nasty bloke?

Fortunately I never spoke to him myself and my Mum was consumately professional about it. But the girl in question painted him as being a bit of a monster.

Mind you she was about 16 or something and had run away from home to spend the weekend with some 20 year old punk bloke - and then didn't come back on the Sunday.
 

STN

sou'wester
Often at that age, readily-volunteered stories about evil parents are somewhat exaggerated. I was kind of hoping that he'd turned out just to be a genial old duffer (not that you'd be able to tell anyway, I s'pose) and she'd just made the whole thing up (obviously not that you'd be able to tell), largely cos that's nicer than the alternative. Doesn't sound like it though, sadly.
 

Canada J Soup

Monkey Man
spontaneous vampire puppet show icebreaker
Somebody should really make and market kits containing all the elements required to put on a spontaneous icebreaking vampire puppet show. And a large bottle of rum.

I've been to way too many terrible parties to single one out as being worse than any of the others. The boring ones fade out of memory, and the ones where you end up engaging in some regrettable behavior at least provide a story to tell in later years.

The most tiresome parties I ever went to were when I was studying in Boston. I was doing a graduate business degree and the majority of the people on my course were stereotypical wannabe investment banker yuppie types with no interests outside of the realms of sports, pornography, and money. The few gatherings I attended blur into a single dull evening where guys clad in beige chinos and polo shirts discussed the merits of various American football teams and the stock market while their fiances discussed diets and Sex and The City. Budweiser and Doritos would be consumed to a Dave Matthews Band soundtrack. As the couples left (around 1am) and the party ended up being a handful of drunken guys and a few wary girls, one of the frattier types would invariably put on a porn DVD to show what a wild time was being had. I’m shuddering just thinking about it now.
 
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Gabba Flamenco Crossover

High Sierra Skullfuck
PS anyone here stupid enough to have had a teen party at their parents' house?

I did it once, and I did it tripping too for good measure, on really powerful strawberry double dips. I spent the whole party off my nut playing Starwing on the SNES while my mates battled to stop the house being totally destroyed. Someone invited a load of nutters and jailbirds who were much older, late 20s probably. Wierdly, they didn't touch the booze or nick anything, but they eat loads of food then had a massive food fight. If my folks could have seen the house next morning, lord knows what they would have done to me. Luckily they didn't get back until a few days later - I spent a speed fuelled 48 hours continuously cleaning up and by a miracle nothing major was broken, so I got away with it. Fucking hair raising what could have happened though.

I went to a house party on a farm where we found the tractor keys and started racing them. A tractor got driven into the side of a barn and caused £20K's worth of damage to it. That was total bedlam. The host got an unbelieveable bollocking, everyone felt sorry for her. Someone put pigfeed in her parent's bed too, to add unneccessary insult to injury.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Somebody should really make and market kits containing all the elements required to put on a spontaneous icebreaking vampire puppet show. And a large bottle of rum.

Can someone explain the concept of 'spontaneity' to CJS, please? ;)
 
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don_quixote

Trent End
been to a party where the racist who had been providing entertainment by phoning up the chinese takeaway and shouting abuse down the phone chucked beer over us because we were smoking. i think i snorted pepper as a bet as well and felt awful for the rest of the evening. it really isnt a clever thing to do.
 

mms

sometimes
my mate had a party in his parents house and this kid who was in and out of jail decided to stay the night, i stayed the night as well, my mate who's party it was demanded that i stayed in the same room as him as he was worried about the place getting robbed. i pretty much kinda stayed up all night, i couldn't really sleep as i was worried about him, worse bit was when he decided to have a toss half way thru the night, obviously got used to life in the cells poor lad.
 

wonk_vitesse

radio eros
cracking thread, i always think 'worst' type ideas are great for exploring the real extraordinariness of human existence and what others class as 'fun.'

Perhaps the worse one I went to was in Norwich, this secondary school teacher in his late 20s had invited his class to what was a cosy little post pub get together. Drunken teenagers shouting and screaming and wanting to marry you.:mad: The teacher's philosphy being that if they made a fool of themselves in his house he had one up on them in class :slanted:
 

Grievous Angel

Beast of Burden
A memorable party that sort of went wrong... it was 1988, loads of friends from across the country came over, there was vast amounts of acid and other stuff, unfortunately it turned out most of the visitors were first timers. There was a mass break out of paranoia, i spent half the night trying to marshall hordes of freaking out scallies and essex boys around Endcliffe Park in Sheffield, helping people negotiate the roads and talking them down. Some people disappeared in the middle of night. In the morning there were all these shivering wrecks trying to recover from staring into the abyss of their own mortality while I disinterestedly skinned up and made breakfast.

Obviously I had quite a good time but as a party it was, while full and very eventful, not as successful as it could have been.
 

Grievous Angel

Beast of Burden
I did it once, and I did it tripping too for good measure, on really powerful strawberry double dips.
Fun!
I spent a speed fuelled 48 hours continuously cleaning up
More fun!!
I went to a house party on a farm where we found the tractor keys and started racing them.
Super double top fun!!!

What's it like to race a tractor? I'd fucking love to do that!
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
What's it like to race a tractor? I'd fucking love to do that!
I've never been much of a one for motor sports, but I do harbour a bit of a fantasy about having a double-decker-bus race around central London (with the city cleared of other vehicles, of course).
 

mms

sometimes
i went to this party at this girls house and someone nicked a tractor and drove it into a ditch.
i went to this other one where someone got in the parents car and drove it across the lawn into the neighbours fence. Another kid shot a woman across he road in the neck with an air rifle, they were quite good parties though.
 
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