It was back when I was focused on being normal, or at least didn't think to think otherwise. More fun, more lost.
In the founding class of the fraternity's chapter at my school, thus hazing was categorically off the table. Much of it was fun, and it occasioned useful lessons that are still being learned. That said, it felt all about sex, and compelled by excellence and dictated by norms, I felt inadequate.
Ultimately the inadequacy persisted, deflamed, evolved into a more manageable insecurity, and I wrote my resignation letter to the fraternity, in keeping with their resignation procedures. The letter was a Spenserian Sonnet that was designed to convey both my genuine acknowledgement that their values didn't line up with mine, flavored by a smattering of in-jokes that I would later laugh at with my roommate, also a somewhat disillusioned brother.
The tone was such as to leave them unsure whether or not I was making fun of them, a result I reveled in upon reflection.