corkers all, people.
i was drunk recently and thought i was doing the taxi-driver a favour if i didn't ask him to stop and therefore prolong the journey time, therefore cutting into his ability to start his next fare asap, so rather than ask him to stop threw up - politely i think - all down my jeans, thoughtfully not getting a splash on the car, barely.
he stopped anyway, said 'mate you should have just got me to pull over', and then promptly charged me more for being sick anyway before depositing me in a heap on the Cheetham Hill Road.
hic! i know that mosque.
another time i threw up in a taxi in a less thoughtful manner and my mate was trying to argue the toss that the sick was already there when we got in. unfortunately, his game act of solidarity was rumbled when the journey ended and the lights came on and we discovered it was all over me.
i voluntarily left the jumping bar of some hostel me and a load of mates were staying in, in Munich, in the spring, was so confused that i couldn't get back in as had no key-card and ended up walking to a very nice hotel around the corner and putting on the credit card a room for the night that cost more than the three nights booked in the hostel. the shower the next morning was nice mind.
the three lads i was with in the lads' room didn't notice i was gone, as they assumed a sleeping Frenchman, w his back turned, in one of the bunks was me.
the four girls we were travelling with (they in their own room) were the only ones who appeared arsed.
on my first night as a fresher at uni i got fairly tipsy and lost my keys to my room, so ended up sleeping in a broom cupboard on a high-chair. the lads in the dorm called me Latch for about the next six months after that. needless to say the keys turned up at day-break.
the Bishop of Southwark drunkenly throwing kid toys out of the back window of a car is comedy gold. what did he tell the officer when his ride was pulled over?
oh that's right, "I'm the Bishop of Southwark, it's what i do".
a bloke who had just got out of Strangeways (we never got around to what for) punched me in a pub once, hard. i had genuinely not done anything and was sober.
he wasn't.
i was also sober when threatened w a nicking by federal agents in downtown Philadelphia last year (managed to avoid that, thankfully), though being drunk would've made more sense.