What do I need to know to be a Proper Grown Up?

[Slothrop]

I think Mark in Peep Show is a pretty good (if unappealing) example of Proper Grown Up style - adequate but uninspiring suit for work, Blue Harbour range at Marks and Spencer for casual. In fact, from what I've seen of it, you could read the central characters as a sort of dialectical examination of how not to do the transition into PGUness.

 

[slowtrain]

^^ They are horrible. As are the Wallabies, that crimping makes them look like a pie.

I was thinking on these lines.

Dunno about the UK but here in NZ those are the type of things people in the early 20's wear with their skinny jeans (or skinny khaki trousers) and fake military jackets

 

[slowtrain]

I also think liking bitter foods helps make you a grownup.

 

[you]

Dunno about the UK but here in NZ those are the type of things people in the early 20's wear with their skinny jeans (or skinny khaki trousers) and fake military jackets

certainly, I'd suggest that these clarks are too aesthetically pure, too stylish, to adhere to the PGU's sartorial paradigm.

another opportunity for laying a fat PGUism can be found at any high street coffee shop, rather than confidently ordering a coffee like a macchiato, flat white or latte or whatever - just squint a little at the chaotic menu overhead before throwing in the bombshell "do you do filter coffee?" - you never see a young bloke do this, but bodened up mums and greying dentists can pull this move with aplomb....

 

[mistersloane]

certainly, I'd suggest that these clarks are too aesthetically pure, too stylish, to adhere to the PGU's sartorial paradigm.

another opportunity for laying a fat PGUism can be found at any high street coffee shop, rather than confidently ordering a coffee like a macchiato, flat white or latte or whatever - just squint a little at the chaotic menu overhead before throwing in the bombshell "do you do filter coffee?" - you never see a young bloke do this, but bodened up mums and greying dentists can pull this move with aplomb....

Oh dear. I do that.

 

[Slothrop]

Oh dear. I do that.

Ha ha.

I tend to order plain black coffee, but I know enough to be able to identify the 'plain black coffee' option from the list of spurious made-up names they've got. I then either ask for it as 'americano' or 'black coffee' depending on how extensive and irritating the list of spurious made-up names is.

 

[hucks]

Thing is, about reading the Economist or whatever, that all this policy wonkery, and economic wonkery; it's a young man's game. The people who really get excited about, say, quantitative easing, or US election results are not PGUs. They're in their 20s, lots of them are recent graduates.

The PGU approach to discussing, eg Greek default would be to suck in one's breath, say something about "the long term view" and advise the listener to buy gold. It's wisdom rather than knowledge. Which is loads easier to fake.

 

[slowtrain]

Ha ha.

I tend to order plain black coffee, but I know enough to be able to identify the 'plain black coffee' option from the list of spurious made-up names they've got. I then either ask for it as 'americano' or 'black coffee' depending on how extensive and irritating the list of spurious made-up names is.

I always ask for a vienna (the most pretentious coffee available) and get grumpy and elitist if they don't know what I mean. It's actually a really nice thing to do, because when you get a barista who DOES know what it is, they feel really chuffed that they're all 'coffee pro'

I don't know if this is PGU or not, but it seems like it to me.

 

[luka]

a vienna is the most rarely ordered coffee. i have gone mostly just to espresso which seems quite grown up alothough sometimes i order a piccolo latte if i have faith in their milk steaming skills.

 

[empty mirror]

I have been affecting a PGU drag for a bit now. I have been wearing (plain front) trousers, oxford shirts (with button down collars) and loafers (penny, and tassel!) when I am not at work. Wearing a tie to the office while your co-workers walk in wearing a t-shirt, basketball shorts, and basketball shoes (this happened thirty seconds ago). Having two kids, a couple cars, and a mortgage helps. Reading your insurance policies (life, house, car) helps. Not knowing what is popular on the radio (do people still listen to that?) helps. Saying "tape" something on the DVR helps. Ironing your clothes and polishing your shoes feels proper grown-up. Hygiene, waking up early, all that puts you in the proper mindset. Gin in the summer, whiskey all the time. Watching Bogart films. Not smoking pot (or not letting on that you do, or have done). Complaining about teenagers - this is a big one. Calling the police on teenagers (did this for the first time this year). Carrying a tiny pocket knife for paring fruit. Reading newspaper on actual paper (I aspire to this but I am bad at reading current events). Reading non-fiction, for me I've been dipping into military history. As someone mentioned, a paunch.

 

[luka]

empty mirror where have you been sourcing these items? i hav been having trouble finding an accptable supply of brouges and button downs.

 

[Diggedy Derek]

How to bleed radiators.

 

[empty mirror]

empty mirror where have you been sourcing these items? i hav been having trouble finding an accptable supply of brouges and button downs.

eBay, mainly. i've been after American brands, being an American in America.
i am always surprised that you English gents have so much sartorial strife. the English are known for their savvy in such matters, no?

i have a list of english purveyors of traditional/ivy clothing at home. i will painstakingly transcribe them here. incotex make great trousers (easy to find in the EU i would think).

off the top though, trickers make brogues that i would purchase if i weren't so fixated on the american makers Alden and Florsheim (vintage Florsheim). the user you i think would be an invaluable source for info about trickers, if i'm not mistaken. i am surprised he doesn't seem to post much in the clothing thread. trickers do sell discounted seconds on eBay and they ship out of the UK.

 

[BareBones]

Being in a restaurant and ordering a bottle of wine that's not simply the cheapest / house option.

And then when the waiter asks if you want to taste it, actually tasting it with the real possibility of sending it back if you don't like it.

 

[empty mirror]

i'd feel like the biggest asshole sending back a wine after sipping it
maybe because i am no wine connoisseur and lack the requisite knowledge and confidence

i returned a skunked beer to a belgian bar (in the states) and the bartender gave me the hardest time about it
like i'd never had a proper belgian beer before
dickhead

 

[STN]

May be outing myself as a non-PGU, but isn't the wine poured out so you can confirm it's not corked? It's not done so you can send the wine back if you don't like it.

Hence, a PGU would not even need to taste the wine - only sniff it, then nod calmly but firmly.

 

[STN]

PS - don't just order the second cheapest wine. Restaurants are all over that, and there's often a lower mark up on the cheapest than on the next cheapest.

I am confident this is PGU knowledge, and I give you all an avuncular beam while ruffling your hair.

 

[luka]

th cheapest one you fel you can confidently pronounce the name of is th important thing.

 

[BareBones]

haha! i'm quite happy to've got that so wrong, as i definitely don't feel ready to be a PGU yet.

 

[Ransbeeck]

And when you like the wine, don't say it was good or that you like it. Just nod your head 'okay'.

You chose it and you're a knowledgeable grown up, so you obviously already knew it was good