The Saga of Goblin Nonce.

[luka]

And if i write a poem, and I have written poems, a few, who will know? Prynne will know, but Prynne in his 80s and not immortal. And will it matter? Poems, at this stage of proceedings?

 

[luka]

They are good poems, very good poems, but it's not enough when they put the feather on the scale.

 

[luka]

I say this now because the mood is upon me.

 

[luka]

Knowing for most of you this is very painful and embarrassing. And that you wish I would stop for my own sake.

 

[luka]

But I have no one to talk to. And these are the things I wish to say.

 

[luka]

Self aggrandising. Self justifying. Self pitying.

 

[luka]

I'm not sure how honest it is. Perhaps it is terribly dishonest. I can't tell. Maybe tomorrow I will know, or next week.

 

[luka]

I can hear the crows rasping now, outside the window, as the sun comes up. Or magpies.

 

[luka]

And soon I will open the curtain. And I will have to put an end to this. Although now I want to talk forever and ever. And tell you everything.

 

[luka]

Perhaps I don't have magical powers. I feel I do. I believe I do. I really do. But I may have to give this up. And I don't want to. I'm scared of saying, no, I have no powers, prospero, forsaking all of this. Will I have to? Perhaps I will have to and go through life naked and anonymous.

 

[luka]

As you have done, many of you, the ultimate sacrifice, going on without your powers, prospero, naked and alone.

 

[luka]

40 this year. In August. Now, the best of my years behind me. Wilting now, shrivelling up and dying.

 

[luka]

Perhaps, perhaps,

 

[luka]

Powerful I think, I think, but when I'm gone what will remain? Tawdry to think of it I know. A joke, a laugh which still reverberates, if that, it would be enough. Something funny. That is what I would like best. To be remembered as laughter, please, if possible

 

[luka]

Waaaaah death death dying on the way out brief candle waaaaah I don't wanna leave, not yet please, a little longer

 

[luka]

I will write one more book. I want to. I hope I can write another. But first I will write this one. And I will make it good. And hopefully it will win me a stay of execution. I've been here long enough. But I want more time. A little more time to right my wrongs.

 

[luka]

Yes, yes, almost morning, 6.10am. And I will make coffee.and carry on.

 

[luka]

I have a bottle of wine, almost empty now. And no sleep. And some cigarettes, and the jet engines in the sky

 

[luka]

Shaking the sky. Impossible flight. To Lima or Tashkent. Beyond the curtains and not my business

 

[luka]

What does it mean to be a poet? To be exactly as you are and nothing more, and to say so.