Mary-Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome
Now they're getting older, they're starting to grow bum-bums
I go to the movies and sit down with my pop-corn
Police saying "freeze"
Doing doing doing
What do you mean "freeze"?
Geez, I just got my seat
I have ticket, look, I put it away my zipper's zipped
Please do not remove me from this movie theater please
I did not even get to see Mary-Kate's shower scene
I didn't mean to be obscene or make a great big scene
And don't treat me like I'm Pee-wee Herman, this movie's PG
Mr. Officer, I demand to see my attorney
I will simply plead innocent, cop a plea and be free
Free, yes, free, right back on the streets
What you mean my lawyer's with Michael, he's too busy?
I am Triumph, Britney Spears has shoulders like a man
And I can say that and you'll laugh 'cause there's a puppet on my hand