The cars you drive
- Thread starter originaldrum
- Start date
IdleRich
IdleRich
I used to go out with a girl at uni and she said that when she reached her first birthday, her dad very kindly bought her a Scalextric set... sadly, by the time she was old enough to understand what it was, or make any attempt to play with it herself, her father had played it so much it was completely ruined.
william_kent
Well-known member
My dad did that with me - bought "me" an airfix kit of the moon module thing, but somehow I never got to touch it
IdleRich
IdleRich
Gotta say that egg pelting is one of those really subjective ones - someone else getting covered in revolting rotten slime from a potentially painful capsule and I can see that there is no small amount of humour inherent in the situation.
If however it were me being egged by some malicious little fuck then I'm fairly sure I would be able to take a much more sensible and adult view of the situation and quickly grasp that there is absolutely nothing funny about the childish and potentially dangerous act of throwing such projectiles at innocent strangers. As a result I would therefore be happy to bring any and all resources to bear on finding the perpetrators and ensuring the swiftest and most brutal punishment possible. Their being fired lying far towards the milder end of he things in my mind.
IdleRich
IdleRich
This is the sort of thing I imagine every parent jokes about, maybe even secretly wants to do, at every one of their child's birthdays. But to actually plunge right in and do it seems a bit... but then I've never had children so perhaps I should withhold judgment.
william_kent
Well-known member
oh, I got my revenge years later by buying him an LP for his birthday that immediately ended up in my collection.. not that I was bitter or anything..I'm not the sort to hold a grudge for years and years..
IdleRich
IdleRich
I've just realised that earlier I addressed Leo by the affectionate name of our pet cat. Not totally stupid in that the cat is also called Leo, but, er, sorry about that, no disrespect intended of course.
WashYourHands
Cat Malogen
Car anecdote
17 years old and a mate rip inherited an 18th-hand Ford Escort Mk2, post-test. Complete shed in bronzey gold. The gear stick would come away in his hand while driving, repetitive stereo tape chewer, dead on its erse. It got the Hacienda and back so that was enough
He started seeing a lass and invited her out in the car to show off on a notorious humpback bridge. We met him there sharing fags, he pulled away to do his run up tires squealing as the car starts to roar and shake up to 50mph, lifted off the bridge with take-off except landing the entire engine block collapsed below onto the road skewering the rest of the car into a near dead stop spin/grind
Dumped immediately
17 years old and a mate rip inherited an 18th-hand Ford Escort Mk2, post-test. Complete shed in bronzey gold. The gear stick would come away in his hand while driving, repetitive stereo tape chewer, dead on its erse. It got the Hacienda and back so that was enough
He started seeing a lass and invited her out in the car to show off on a notorious humpback bridge. We met him there sharing fags, he pulled away to do his run up tires squealing as the car starts to roar and shake up to 50mph, lifted off the bridge with take-off except landing the entire engine block collapsed below onto the road skewering the rest of the car into a near dead stop spin/grind
Dumped immediately
IdleRich
IdleRich
Well revenge is a dish best eaten cold and all that... but this type of cold-blooded, dogged grudge bearing which you describe here does appear to have gone a little beyond the norm. I think I will do my best not to incur the wrath of the Kentinator.
I can imagine the scene, many years hence, say 2050;
The debate between Mr Tea and Mixed Biscuits about whether artificial gills grown in a tank and attached to the body do indeed offer protection against the latest iteration of the panda flue rages on - but I care not, I have finally found a totally airtight response to Eden and his group of extreme leave fanatics which will surely convince even the most ardent of Exiters that Earth should remain in the Solar Federation.... I am just about to deliver it as part of a pincer movement with my long term colleague in arms, William Kent, when suddenly I feel the needle prick of a stiletto from behind and straight into my heart... the last thing I hear as lungs fill with blood is the curiously rasping, guttural speech of William Kent "Sorry Rich, but you never should have never have disrespected Chris Martin like that in 2021 - I'm afraid from that point on your days were numbered".
The only response I can offer is a horrible drawn out gurgle which half-way through becomes a death rattle....
...Kent lowered the body almost tenderly to the ground, sliding the tool he referred to on a daily basis as his hunting knife - and at other times, simply as Justice - from the wound, he cleaned it carefully and deliberately on a silken cloth until finally he was satisfied.
After the knife was secreted about his person it was time for him to study an old and battered black book he withdrew from yet another pocket of his bulky trench coat... nodding slightly as though merely confirming something he already knew, it was time for Kent to once more become the instrument of righteous fate... one word escaped his twisted lips and cruelly broken teeth "Verrrrrrrrsiiooooonnnn".
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IdleRich
IdleRich
Cos he thought it was due to her weight right?
Mellsman
Well-known member
I was born in 1972. In Swindon.
I also confuse and frustrate people.
Oh yeah, goes without saying: if someone drive-by eggs ME, they should be air-dropped into Afghanistan, with a micro-bomb implanted in their neck, on a suicide mission to rescue the service dogs. Or be publicly flogged, Singapore-style.
IdleRich
IdleRich
Of course, most things are like this to some extent... but an egging seems to be one that demonstrates this switch rather perfectly.
Mellsman
Well-known member
Yes!
Though I think they are trying to expunge Princess Margaret not us.
IdleRich
IdleRich
Had a bit of a car crash today... coming off the motorway hit a patch that was completely slidey, I guess it was a bit of ground with a thin sheen of water over it, as the car went over it I was completely unable to steer - the wheels had literally no traction - and the car span right round and smashed into the barrier.
Luckily I was driving - uncharacteristically - very slowly, plus there were no cars coming at us as we helplessly rotated so we escaped with nothing more than a broken headlight between the two of us and the car. Pretty scary though as you can imagine.
Luckily I was driving - uncharacteristically - very slowly, plus there were no cars coming at us as we helplessly rotated so we escaped with nothing more than a broken headlight between the two of us and the car. Pretty scary though as you can imagine.
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Eek, yeah sounds well scary. I had a similar experience on boxing day, I had go go and pick something up off my mum and decided to come back over the tops but the roads were covered in snow and ice. You have to go up and over a very steep hill and on thd descent, the car was sliding all over the place, brakes locking etc. Terrifying. The only time I've had an accident before was on ice, slow slide into another car, so I was dead worried. OK in the end, no knocks, but scary.
IdleRich
IdleRich
Can you see this link?
If not it's a guy on the motorway who almost overshoots the turn-off but realises and slams on the anchors, coming almost to a dead stop and then driving across three lanes to the junction, causing a number of vehicles extreme inconvenience in trying to avoid it.
I mention this cos the other day I got an Uber into town and the guy took the wrong turn and went on to the road leading inevitably to the bridge. Now this happened before one time I may have mentioned, on that occasion the driver was a friend and although he swore inventively under his breath (well not really) for the entire time that was added to the journey (ie almost there quarters of an hour, cos the bridge is almost 20k long and once you're on that road you have to cross it, then drive along the motorway until you can come off and turn round, and then go all the way back again) he swallowed his medicine and drove it.
The Uber guy was however clearly reluctant to spend an hour on a fifteen minute journey, so he stopped the car and - a bit like in the video above, but worse - he actually reversed it back far enough that he could take the right turn instead. Just madness.
If not it's a guy on the motorway who almost overshoots the turn-off but realises and slams on the anchors, coming almost to a dead stop and then driving across three lanes to the junction, causing a number of vehicles extreme inconvenience in trying to avoid it.
I mention this cos the other day I got an Uber into town and the guy took the wrong turn and went on to the road leading inevitably to the bridge. Now this happened before one time I may have mentioned, on that occasion the driver was a friend and although he swore inventively under his breath (well not really) for the entire time that was added to the journey (ie almost there quarters of an hour, cos the bridge is almost 20k long and once you're on that road you have to cross it, then drive along the motorway until you can come off and turn round, and then go all the way back again) he swallowed his medicine and drove it.
The Uber guy was however clearly reluctant to spend an hour on a fifteen minute journey, so he stopped the car and - a bit like in the video above, but worse - he actually reversed it back far enough that he could take the right turn instead. Just madness.