Bottle up your feelings

[nomadologist]

On a different note, UFO--we actually can see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you're into neuroscience, google "p11 protein" and "Paul Greengard." Maybe you saw the article about him in the Times recently. Finally made a really promising discovery on the "basic science" level that could revolutionize how we treat depression, and how we avoid it. Without SSRIs MAOIs and such. The whole scientific discourse on depressive disorders is about to explode.

 

[elgato]

as if elgato's "well i've met a fair number of girls who haven't been mature enough for me" were some sort of evidence regarding the female gender . . . WHO CARES how many girls elgato has met or what they were like, that sure as hell doesn't count for anything remotely resembling evidence about the female gender, it's just personal testimony. I really do not understand the willingness of some people to overgeneralize about topics that thoughtful, committed people have been working years and years to improve and overcome.

i seem to have caused some serious offence here, i apologise for doing so. i took the opportunity while we were on the topic to discuss an issue which has been plaguing me for the last few months of my life following a very painful breakup, with a female who seemed to be in a position to discuss the issue openly...to get a perspective which i hoped was there but which my experience had left me struggling to believe. you seem to resent the fact that i expressed my feelings in this way, i'd appreciate knowing why if you're going to backhandedly insult me like that...

and clearly nomadologist said it could be that the women may mature more slowly in my specific social strata...

 

[elgato]

It's not that either sex (ugh science) communicates better or worse, it's that our brains have evolved differently and process language differently using different parts of the brain. The old idea was that women were less "rational" or "logical" and more emotional, because they use both hemispheres processing language and use more complex mechanisms to integrate input/output from emotional centers with language centers in the brain (an oversimplification of a very complex process, but you get the point?) It can be frustrating to bump up against that, but it's important to remember. Especially important to remember is that despite this, there are more similarities in performance of analytical/spatial any kind of ability across biological sexes than there are differences. Same with "races."

Although, I do think sometimes particular circumstances account for (as much if not) much more than biology, and it could be that wherever you live or whatever your particular social milieu is, Elgato, women do for whatever reason mature more slowly. Couldn't say. But don't rule out bad luck.

thanks for that

i know deep down that this is the case, its just a combination of bad luck and perhaps social grouping, but its sometimes very difficult to see it, easy to be fatalistic, and easy to start questioning whether it is just myself having too high expectations. but again, thanks for the reassurance

 

[UFO over easy]

group hug?

 

[nomadologist]

I'm glad Elgato read my tone, though I'm sure I could have said all of that MUCH better .It can be hard to read anything into the tone of posts, and easy to let the rhetoric get too heated. Especially given how different British and American English are idiomatically :slanted:

I wish there were a hug icon.

 

[gek-opel]

Cold anger. The punishing refrain of non communicative male rage. Capiche? If no one is capable of helping, what precisely is the purpose of emoting? Beyond some kind of atheistic confessional?

 

[elgato]

Cold anger. The punishing refrain of non communicative male rage. Capiche? If no one is capable of helping, what precisely is the purpose of emoting? Beyond some kind of atheistic confessional?

firstly i think that an atheistic confessional can be a positive thing, as it forces you to clearly articulate and confront the problem at hand, which allows you to better process and deal with it

but also it depends on the nature of the issue... if it is one relating to the second party in question, then communication may well be a necessary path if the relationship (of whatever type, not restricted to those romantic in nature) is to flourish, as opposed to crumbling under the pressure of repressed emotion and passive aggression. if the other party are incapable of dealing with the communication then it serves to demonstrate said incapability, and therefore demonstrating the probable limits of your relationship with them

i must admit i dont fully understand what the first half of your post meant, could you clarify please? im very intrigued

 

[Peak]

I don't understand this idea of choosing whether or not to tell other people what you're feeling. I only find out what I'm feeling in conversation with someone.

Or; if my range of feelings at any given moment is A-Z, thinking about them gets me to B if I'm lucky, writing to D. Talking might get me to K. This may not help me particularly, it just makes life more interesting.