Dr Awesome
Techsteppin'
I agree with that about mdma, I think it affects your brain chemistry too much and if you're the type of person who needs anti-depressants then the problems associated with that can only be greater. The mdma may even be playing a part if you're taking it regularly enough. I used to know people who would take it every weekend, I could only go 2 weekends in a row before it left me feeling rough as old boots and a bit mental. Wonder what someone who has been doing it every weekend for years must feel like.
Indeed, it all depends on your own chemical balance and serotonin levels.
I'd recommend for anyone feeling blue or anyone taking MDMA to get some 5HTP capsules from their local health shop. I know some fools pop one when they start to come down... but if you pre-load on them the day before and for a few days after you'll generally feel a lot better.
My own experiences led me to discover that I couldn't take pills very often at all. The period of shit after taking them got longer and longer... first a few days... this turned into a few weeks... It literally got to the point where I couldn't see colour: the entire world was grey. I know that must sound bizarre or metaphorical but that's how it was. I couldn't get out of bed before 3pm or so, dropped out of uni and even simple tasks like going to the supermarket became impossible. I remember opening my front door one morning and crying and crying. I suffered from a complete inability to function as a human being.
Granted there were other issues swirling round my head but in my foolishness I started to take more pills while I was still feeling shit from the last lot. Lets just say this was a near fatal mistake. Thankfully for me two people I knew well committed suicide and one of my best friends got locked up (for dealing) in a short space of time and I managed to break the cycle and to slowly work through some underlying issues. I definitely empathise about the nihilistic "one downsmanship" mentioned somewhere prior on this thread.
I didn't touch MDMA or pills (there's a big difference in NZ) for at least 18 months. I had some on a NYE a few years back with a big group of really supportive people and even then it became a rather emotional experience for me. It's a bit better for me nowadays, I can take them without days of sepia following... but I still treat them with the utmost respect and wouldn't have more than 2 or 3 all year.
What's sad is that the dangers of MD etc are not talked about from a mental health perspective as opposed to "hurr, drugs are bad, you might overdose" type standpoint.
I've never shared that story on-line before, hopefully it stands testament to the dangers people face.