I don't like talking during sex--if you can think of words other than "oh" "god" and "fuck", then it's not very hot sex.
"dirty little slut" is perfectly acceptable though.
I hate straight, mainstream porn because it's too focused on nudity and obscenity without any actual sex appeal. A good lover will make you shake like a leaf before he even takes your clothes off. Also: the hottest sex is not necessarily loud and fast, it's slow/frantic and hushed, especially for the first 25 minutes.
warning: rant ahead
women can be just as confused and brainwashed by boring mainstream notions of "hot" and proscribed, mediatized sexual behavior as men. a beautiful girl who doesn't know her own body/needs/desires and what to do with them if she did; who doesn't understand subtlety, understatement, and the (afore mentioned) art of not touching, of slow building tension; who thinks she wants a stereotypical "hot fuck"; makes it very, very disspointing. (and it seems like the more "attractive" ones are more likely to be self-conscious, prone to "self objectification" and get caught up in such notions. the good-looking-but-boring-in-the-sack type. sigh...) it's like "is that ALL you want???"
also, the over compensation of "liberated" and "feminist" attitudes in many educated (usually young) women can be restrictive in the sense of not allowing themselves to embody what constitutes at least a part of traditional feminine qualities such as submissiveness (i.e. "don't touch my head while i do that" or "i don't like doggy style")
and maybe more than men, women are prone to (again media induced) fantasies of idealized ideas of "romantic". (similar to the unattainable ideal "perfect prince charming" and "living happily ever after") which can take the fun and spontaneity out of it, not to mention TACKY.
NB to men: "Foreplay" should be purposely minimal. It should be about witholding touch for as long as possible, not overstimulating nerves until they don't work anymore.
i don't know how ANYONE can not understand that this should be avoided. yet so many don't... what, are you made of plexi-glass down there? do you think I am???
tenderness and urgency, not theatrics.
theater can be a total turn on though.
growing up with ubiquitous representations, it is difficult to not be influenced by, and even become addicted to perverse self-absorbed and ego-maniacal voyeuristic theatricality... like that scene in American Pyscho where he's less interested in the prostitutes and more into looking in the mirror and flexing.