The press release hall of shame thread

[philblackpool]

This is the source of the all-time thread classic "When a song means a lot to you personally, having it remixed is a lot like sending your child to undergo plastic surgery. In this case, though, it was like having the operation performed by doctors you respect as musicians.":

http://turborecordings.com/releases/turbo-084-tiga-gentle-giant-remixes/

Worth seeing in full as it looks like another example of someone attempting to write as if they are the musician. I THINK going by the rest of it, there was some attempt at humour going on here, but it is almost psychedelically confusing!

 

[philblackpool]

I haven't quite pinned down what really REALLY annoys me about Amanda Brown, but this has taken me one step closer. Have you read her columns in the Wire? she seems to believe she's single handedly saved music or some tripe

I am a long-term fan...Here are some of the ultimate AmandaBombs for your delectation!

"This was the year that dance was 'reinvented' in part thanks to me...and my imprint 100% Silk"

"Every day I wake up & ask myself 'How can I be more like Bjork?'"

"Lisa Stansfield was something of a genius".

 

[philblackpool]

This is from a free rave mag (Ravin Eye I think), a coupla years back. Brilliant summing up of what I'd always taken to be the consensus on the Doncaster-based rave, innocently dropped into what was meant to be a positive review:

"...many people hold the belief that Dizstruxshon is skanky & full of wankers looking for trouble"!!

 

[philblackpool]

My last addition for the moment is to go back to the bit about people's myspace write-ups. One female musician from up this way who is now sorta well-known did for a while have a very cringey myspace write-up where she innocently proclaimed that everyone said she was the talented one in the band she was in ("Thanks very much" I think came the reply from her bandmates!) & that someone had told her she had the most original voice they had heard since Freddie Mercury. I should really have saved it for posterity as there were some other classics as well but I think someone kindly had a word & it was replaced soon after.

 

[philblackpool]

Actually, one more. Not a music one but an example of how easy it is to translate badly into english. A beautiful, psychedelically mangled bit of Polish-to-English from the school I work at:

"I saw the face of time listening to me".

 

[Roshman]

I am a long-term fan...Here are some of the ultimate AmandaBombs for your delectation!

"This was the year that dance was 'reinvented' in part thanks to me...and my imprint 100% Silk"

"Every day I wake up & ask myself 'How can I be more like Bjork?'"

"Lisa Stansfield was something of a genius".

Well that explains why that label's been getting so much props, at least last year. I didn't understand it the hype at all.

 

[philblackpool]

Yes, previously I'd thought they were simply goofy ex-noiser hippies who were quite good at unearthing slightly intriguing lo-fi house producers & imagining themselves back to late 80s raves.