Stella - evil in a can?

[...]

All lager that comes out of a can, and when you drink it straight out of a can, tastes of metal. That is the point! And the gas is far worse. Gassy, gassy, very gross. Glass tastes nicer.

Stella is rotten, though. Carling is more evil, because it's cheaper, and makes you loutish, and causes you to take your jeans off in laundrettes. It induces crazy behaviour, like skunk.

Grosch absolutely reeks of weed, and is extra gassy. I don't know why people respect it just because of its national origin. It's nasty.

Big bottles of San Miguel are bad, bad things.

Indian lagers in bottles taste really wrong, almost have an undertow of fish guts. I can't quite place my finger on that though; could be personal psychosis.

Leffe in a bottle is a bad idea, but a better option, not quite there with the lovely special glasses you get in pubs. Though I once found a bar in Shepherd's Bush thats served Leffe in pints. I'd just been paid 100 euros for talking about Shakespeare to a coach load of South Korean students for an hour as we stalked through thick traffic. I had a date on the other end and, as the bar also took euros, I spent a lot of my wage on food for us, whiskey for her, and pints of Leffe for me. Disaster! By midnight I'd proposed to her, on my knees, on the steps of a Catholic church, as she tried to drag me back to her house for my own safety. Though she did say "yes" so I'd obviosuly got her very drunk too.

The real evil is Alpa red wine, sold as 2 bottles for a fiver in Clapton and Bow by 24 hr Turkish and Kurdish grocers, that I gorged during 2003 and 2004, and saw me through heartbreak and blog writing, but ripped my guts to pieces, and taught me about the seven levels of hangover.

You have to graduate to Rioja at some point, simply for your health. Rioja caused an Italian giallo obssession, weirdly.

My many moments of alcoholic hell; stages of shame and their repercussions.

 

[Mr. Tea]

The real evil is Alpa red wine, sold as 2 bottles for a fiver in Clapton and Bow by 24 hr Turkish and Kurdish grocers, that I gorged during 2003 and 2004, and saw me through heartbreak and blog writing, but ripped my guts to pieces, and taught me about the seven levels of hangover.

Hah, yeah, I remember happily (or so I told myself) chugging 2-for-£5 bottles of plonk from my local Turkish offie as an undergrad - just couldn't do it these, I fear. Probably for the best.

You have to graduate to Rioja at some point, simply for your health. Rioja caused an Italian giallo obssession, weirdly.

Very weird, seeing as Rioja is Spanish...

 

[Slothrop]

Big up my budvar massive. Or should i say my co-op Czech lager massive.

Yeah, I kind of see lagers as much of a muchness, and tend to drink the 4%-5% abv (ie not the really weak ones) own brand stubbies or whatever.

Guinness is a weird one - I know lots of Americans who've suddenly discovered it and think that it's absolutely the most transcendantly exciting beer experience known to man ("you like Bud?[1] You haven't tried real beer. You haven't tried Guinness. "), rather than an adequate but not particularly exciting mass produced stout...

Obviously given the choice I go for something with twigs floating in the top and either the word 'old' or a mild innuendo in the name, ideally brewed within five miles of the pub...

[1] directed at another 'merkin, natch, not at me

 

[nomos]

i think i asked this once but i forget the answer...

this 'cold guinness' they have now - when i was in london a couple of years ago, every time my canadian mouth said 'guinness' the bartender would reach for 'cold guinness' and i'd have to say 'no, sorry, i meant the regular kind please.' do you have that tap just for north americans or is 'cold' the new in-thing, like clear colas in the 90s? it tastes wrong.

 

[tryptych]

Big up my budvar massive. Or should i say my co-op Czech lager massive.

Dark Budvar rocks.

 

[john eden]

To my tastebuds stella on draught tastes more metallic than red stripe out of a can.

 

[STN]

What's J&B like?

Canned, I find Polish lager agreable, if rather strong. At the moment (well, not at the moment, it's 8 in the morning) I'm drinking a lot of Sam Adams and Cooper's Sparkling. I had a bottle of Moosehead the other day and it was awful. Also tried Hite, a Korean lager, which was delectable but weak.

I don't get this metallic Stella thing. The Stella in the Coach and Horses is maaaaaagic.

 

[viktorvaughn]

Chilling ales in pubs is deeply evil and annoying.

 

[stelfox]

I have been in Canada for a while and am now back in the UK. All I can say is that I am very much looking forward to drinking real, non-fizzy beer served at a sensible temperature. Alexander Keith's IPA is my brew of choice in Canada, but even compared to even the worst pint of bitter here, it sucks. It's true. Stella is disgusting, but sometimes you want a beer that tastes pretty bad and makes you feel used and dirty in the morning. I'm rather perturbed by all the Budvar love, too. Just because it's Czech does not mean it's good. It's actually a pretty awful beer. Personally, I'd rather drink Urquell or any number of Polish beers, like Warka, Zywiec or Okocim (especially if in big bottles). If drinking at home, I'm all about Poland, Dragon Stout and Nigerian Guinness.

 

[simon silverdollar]

stella is crazy stuff; the morning after, i feel both completely lethargic and also twitchy,anxious and panicky. it's like an amphetamines come down.

what do people think of the whole putting lime into Corona thing? i've always found that revolting, and i don't fully trust any one who does it (so there!).

 

[matt b]

i think i asked this once but i forget the answer...

this 'cold guinness' they have now - when i was in london a couple of years ago, every time my canadian mouth said 'guinness' the bartender would reach for 'cold guinness' and i'd have to say 'no, sorry, i meant the regular kind please.' do you have that tap just for north americans or is 'cold' the new in-thing, like clear colas in the 90s? it tastes wrong.

it is/was a fashion thing. tastes like shit. some pubs only have 'cold' now.

even worse is smoothflow bitter. bejesus.

 

[stelfox]

now, as much as it's totally shite, i actually don't mind the occasional smoothflow beer - or cream ale as they call them on the other side of the atlantic. you just have to completely divorce yourself from the idea that you're drinking real beer, view it is a bit of a weird novelty that has nothing to do with what beer should taste like and it's actually pretty nice now and again.

the lime in corona thing is just a bit naff, really. it's a kind of a provincial 80s hangover and should have gone the way of baggy white suits and espadrilles. i dunno about not trusting people who do it, but i'd certainly say they were a bit stupid.

 

[Mr. Tea]

what do people think of the whole putting lime into Corona thing? i've always found that revolting, and i don't fully trust any one who does it (so there!).

The tradition of putting a slice of lemon or lime in Mexican beers came about as a way to keep flies out of the bottle. It's got sod all to do with the taste (which, as far as I can see, is pretty similar to any European lager).

And Nomos, re. the extra-cold beer thing: fucking annoyingm, isn't it? It just makes the beer taste of (even) less, makes the glass uncomfortable to hold and hurts your teeth when you drink it. I believe it may have been started by Guinness so as to allow it to be poured faster, because it's less frothy. Then the lager brewers started doing it, as if lager isn't cold enough already...bunch of arse, it's like 'smoothflow' bitter all over again.

Edit: stelfox, you are dead to me!

 

[bassnation]

now, as much as it's totally shite, i actually don't mind the occasional smoothflow beer - or cream ale as they call them on the other side of the atlantic. you just have to completely divorce yourself from the idea that you're drinking real beer, view it is a bit of a weird novelty that has nothing to do with what beer should taste like and it's actually pretty nice now and again.

the lime in corona thing is just a bit naff, really. it's a kind of a provincial 80s hangover and should have gone the way of baggy white suits and espadrilles. i dunno about not trusting people who do it, but i'd certainly say they were a bit stupid.

yeah, but all that aside (and off topic as usual) but dark rum n coke without lime is a travesty that should be punishable by death. there are so many places that don't know how to serve spirits. no ice, flat coke and no lemon or lime. eurrggh.

and worse still i had someone try to serve me a brandy in a tall glass with ice cubes in the other day. wrong, wrong, WRONG.

 

[Mr. Tea]

and worse still i had someone try to serve me a brandy in a tall glass with ice cubes in the other day. wrong, wrong, WRONG.

I used to work in a pub and was once asked for a glass of Glen Summthing'Orothergh with ice in it. I just said, slightly incredulously, "Ice? In a single malt?", causing him to go "er, OK, no ice then". I like to feel I discharged my barmanly duties honorably.

 

[STN]

I don't mind the lime in corona thing and I do think that and Sol share a taste that merits it. Have I just fallen for the hype?

In response to Silverdollar's comment about untrustworthiness, I once bought a single for 79p and sold it to one of my dearest friends for a fiver.

In resposnes to Stefox's espadrille allegations, I was prevetned from buying a pair a mere two days ago.

 

[stelfox]

and worse still i had someone try to serve me a brandy in a tall glass with ice cubes in the other day. wrong, wrong, WRONG.

You should have punched them in the face for that...

 

[simon silverdollar]

In resposnes to Stefox's espadrille allegations, I was prevetned from buying a pair a mere two days ago.

me too. i think i'm listening to way too much italo disco at the moment.

 

[Mr. Tea]

I don't mind the lime in corona thing and I do think that and Sol share a taste that merits

I guess if you're used to tasting them with lime, it's going to taste odd (to you) without lime, so it ends up being justified through familiarity.

 

[STN]

Or, they do just taste different (FACT!) and you are a fascist for suggesting otherwise.