And yeah its totally something that needs to be reckoned with, and I gte the feeling it is way more of an relatable identity than it is often treated as being.
I think the demonized incels are the ones who have experienced this to the extreme, perhaps harbored totally unrealistic expectations about sexual encounters. Moreover, these feelings can get pent up and blown out of proportion - so now you have expectations that are both fundamentally unrealistic and drastically overblown, hence the whole complex that psychological governs the incel.
And if we take the generational factor seriously, then all of a sudden its not a niche thing, it is quite normal. Perhaps the extremities are not the norm - but the extremities would be on the same scale on which the norm is just the middle, or something.
That is, until we socially/evolutionary learn to get our sexual bearings on the internet, this sort of thing is bound to happen in droves, no?
And tapping into that part of yourself that can sympathize with or otherwise relate to such a complex, that can perhaps illuminate possible treatments, preventative measures, etc.