How modern couples speak

[luka]

Ive noticed theres this new way middle class couples talk. Very influenced by the policed communications of the office where any indiscretion can be weaponised against you. Very HR meeting. Negotiating, cautious. Very cold, with constant assurances that yes, i understand why that would upset you etc

Its chilling. Feels very contemporary.

 

[luka]

Theres an HR disciplinary meeting in their head.

 

[luka]

It also sounds like theyre in buiness together. "Ok we'll open the laptop when we get home and generate some ideas"

 

[luka]

I hope i get to eavesdrop on a cpuple like this today so i can quote them

 

[william_kent]

GARY: Hey Cindy, remember the other day when we were talking about optimizations?

CINDY: Yeah, I wanted to circle back on that.

GARY: Me too. You said you wanted to see hockey-stick growth. Well, I’ve realized that I want to see hockey-stick growth too—in our relationship.

CINDY: Unpack that for me.

GARY: This relationship has been such a value-add. Some of my friends were worried that it would take too long for us to get into alignment. But you have been an absolute rockstar.

CINDY: I feel the same way, Gary. The ROI on this relationship has been unbelievable. You’ve really given 110 percent.

GARY: So I wanted to close the loop. In addition to the other deliverables, I have one more. (He takes a knee, and holds out his hand.) It’s this wedding ring. Cindy, will you marry me?

CINDY: I will, Gary. You have been an absolute ninja. This moves the needle in a significant way.

GARY: Getting married will represent a huge pivot, but I see it as a quick win, and a real solve.

A marriage proposal spoken entirely in office jargon

 

[sus]

If you & your SO don't keep a spreadsheet, you're NGMI

 

[sus]

Modern couples love to "process" the party on the car ride home.

 

[sus]

Modern couples say, "It sounds to me like what you're saying" and "What I'm hearing" and "When you say that, it makes me feel"

 

[luka]

Modern couples love to "process" the party on the car ride home.

Performance review

 

[shakahislop]

it's a technology people are trying out

 

[sus]

Modern couples love to talk about their inner child, and how their bodies keep the score, and childhood trauma

 

[shakahislop]

partly a response to more balanced power - we are working out how to relate after the patriarchy has taken some severe knocks

 

[sus]

Modern couples love to go, "I feel really seen by you" and "I don't feel very seen right now"

 

[shakahislop]

negotiation replaces domination

 

[luka]

partly a response to more balanced power - we are working out how to relate after the patriarchy has taken some severe knocks

Thats remarkably optimistic

 

[sus]

Give us some examples Shaka

 

[luka]

negotiation replaces domination

Negotiation is just domination by other means

 

[shakahislop]

Thats remarkably optimistic

it is more balanced though. it's evident. the days of men making the decisions and the women doing the washing are over. at least for the people who talk like this

 

[sus]

Also I don't think that's totally true Shaka, traditionally it's my understanding that there are clearly demarcated zones of authority, e.g. the wife is the head of the domestic household, and that this clear division is a better description of pre-modern arrangements than unilateral domination.

 

[sus]

Nowadays picking out furniture drapes children's clothing is a joint decision. Everything's a joint decision. What kind of butter do we buy what's our philosophy of saturated fats