Corpsey

call me big papa
1. Satsuma

Of Chinese origin, one of the English names for the fruit, "satsuma", is derived from the former Satsuma Province in Japan, from which these fruits were first exported to the West.

2. Grapes

A scientific review published in the journal Trends in Genetics reports that most researchers believe grapes are at least 65 million years old.

3. Pear

Pear and walnut trees were held to be the sacred abodes of beneficent spirits in pre-Islamic Chechen religion and, for this reason, it was forbidden to fell them.

4. Mango

The mango is the national fruit of India, Pakistan, and the Philippines, and the national tree of Bangladesh; although they were almost unheard of in China before, mangoes were popularized during the Cultural Revolution as symbols of Chairman Mao Zedong's love for the people.

5. Watermelon

An alcoholic treat called a "hard watermelon" is made by pouring liquor into a hole in the rind of a whole fruit, and then eating the alcohol-permeated flesh.

6. Peach
 

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Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Watermelons are shit. I mean come on, they taste of water. That's about it. And all that stringy, fibrous flesh and millions of seeds. Yech.

And pears? Get the fuck out of town. They're good for making perry or cooked deserts but to eat by themselves, no thanks.

Grapes can be nice when they haven't got six million pips in them but again, their real purpose is to be made into booze.

Peaches and mangoes all day long. I ate a nectarine earlier, they're good too, the way the flesh comes clean off the stone. I used to consider nectarines a kind of peach but they're sort of in between peaches and plums, aren't they?

Like 1/4 plum and 3/4 peach or something. Edit:

Though fuzzy peaches and nectarines are regarded commercially as different fruits, with nectarines often erroneously believed to be a crossbreed between peaches and plums, or a "peach with a plum skin", nectarines belong to the same species as peaches. Several genetic studies have concluded nectarines are produced due to a recessive allele, whereas a fuzzy peach skin is dominant.[4] Nectarines have arisen many times from peach trees, often as bud sports.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peach#Nectarines

Well there we go then.

Satsumas are OK, I suppose, as long as they're the easy-peel type. The ones with really thin skins that adhere to the segments when you try and peel them can fuck off.
 
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droid

Beast of Burden
The peach is the pervert's fruit of choice. The silky, downy (yet easily bruised and often withered ) skin. 'The way the flesh comes clean off'...

It was the favourite fruit of both John Wayne Gacy & Jeffrey Dahmer.
 

droid

Beast of Burden
Ian Brady's dad got him a job as a fruit porter at Smithfield Market in Manchester and he was 'mad about peaches', often stealing pocketfuls before they got too bruised through handling.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Sounds about right. You forgot to mention that they look a bit like a nice round female arse.

Although not as much as a coco de mer, of course.

 

Leo

Well-known member
something to be said for simple, non-exotic fruits. i used to eat an apple a day, and it did indeed keep the doctor away, lots of good locally-grown varieties in ny that you might not get elsewhere. cherries and white seedless grapes are great in summer, keep 'em in the refrigerator.

when i'm feeling a little more adventurous, i'll enjoy a good kiwi.

my wife makes a great mango salsa, will try to find/post the recipe.
 

Leo

Well-known member
ha! healthcare is so ridiculous here that you want to keep away from doctors even when you do have medical insurance.
 
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john eden

male pale and stale
I generally eat an apple and a banana every day. This largely because there is so much fucking cake in this office that I would jabba the hut if I didn't fill myself up with fruit. Also it tastes good.
 

Lichen

Well-known member
And pears? Get the fuck out of town. They're good for making perry or cooked deserts but to eat by themselves, no thanks.
I strongly disagree.

Conference pears can fuck off.

But a perfectly ripe William, giving but firm, very slightly mealy in texture, but not wooly.

Probably my peak fruit experience.

Bar an Alphonse magnum at its peak, which is just ridiculous - proof of God.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Ian Brady's dad got him a job as a fruit porter at Smithfield Market in Manchester and he was 'mad about peaches', often stealing pocketfuls before they got too bruised through handling.
The peach is the pervert's fruit of choice. The silky, downy (yet easily bruised and often withered ) skin. 'The way the flesh comes clean off'...

It was the favourite fruit of both John Wayne Gacy & Jeffrey Dahmer.
I suppose I should be grateful you didn't go straight for "I heard Craner loves peaches", but maybe you thought that and then reconsidered it as too distasteful and insulting.
 
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