Yeah this is something I find quite intriguing about you as clearly you do exist in a parallel emotional universe (from me) you clearly sift and arrange and probably experience your thoughts in a very different manner from me but there's still an overlap, a zone where we can understand one another, and even come to the same conclusions via different paths.I fundamentally don't understand R&B. I used to think I just didn't like it. Now I can appreciate its qualities, but it still seems to me to be being beamed in from a parallel emotional universe. Metal makes sense to me because it's basically collective/solipsistic - you might experience it listening alone in your bedroom, or as part of a heaving mass in a moshpit, but with the exception of "metal ballads" (almost uniformly terrible) you'd never sing a metal song directly to another person. (An interesting exception here might be Deftones, which is unusually intimate - not for nothing is there a rather good Deftones Sade cover, for instance). R&B is about seduction, praise, remonstration, apology: it's a person-to-person medium. The speaker is always caught up in an intersubjective game - very often the answering voice is included in the song, offering encouragement or retort. I'm fairly terrible at all of those things in real life, and don't really understand what people who are good at them are really doing. R&B seems to me to be about imagining yourself, successfully, as a kind of intersubjective virtuoso: not just a loverman, but a really persuasive loverman, one who believes in himself and wants to be believed by the other person.
Do you not find yourself sometimes caught in an intersubjective game within your own subjectivities?
I have the same complete inability to understand metal as you do with r&b. I want to point to the pantomime of it, the histrionics, but obviously aware that some people think of r&b in the same terms. i get quite upset with it. Even the visual stuff around it, like when our guitar guy, padraig posts a load of stuff in a thread I get viscerally upset, have a temper tantrum, scream. Just looking at the images.
Sometimes it's very tempting, just assuming humans are various different aliens in a standardised earth suit, with incompatible needs and desires. Burroughs vision.