Suspended's Poetry Apprenticeship

Corpsey

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
mixed_biscuits said:
Fact is most of the poets who put structure in the background do so because they're not technically able enough to be more formal, and then this lack of structure may itself be foregrounded ending in pure sloppiness

There is joy in pattern and pattern needn't involve full end rhyme; there are myriad ways to create sound correspondences...but they do require skill.
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This is what Eliot said about free verse.

The man you've posted off YouTube hasn't got the requisite skill to pull off the patterns without using redundant words, tying himself in convoluted knots, etc. Which isn't necessarily even a knock because very few people (as far as I'm aware) do have that skill or ever did.

Yeats and Larkin are two that spring to mind as being able to sustain whole, grammatically lucid, sentences across the breadth of long, rhymed stanzas.
 
sus

sus

Moderator
OK well it's fine if no one likes it I am just trying to have a grounded conversation about preferences
 
mixed_biscuits

mixed_biscuits

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sus said:
I read the most brilliant thing by Honor Levy yesterday it changed my whole opinion of her, I thought she was alright but now I think she's a genius

> He was giving knight errant, organ-meat eater, Byronic hero, Haplogroup Rlb. She was giving damsel in distress, pill-popper pixie dream girl, Haplogroup K. He was in his fall of Rome era. She was serving sixth and final mass extinction event realness. His face was a marble statue. Her face was an anime waifu. They scrolled into each other. If they could have, they would have blushed, pink pixels on a screen.
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I just love how this poem will sound completely obsolete in 3 years.
 
mixed_biscuits

mixed_biscuits

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sus said:
IDK he seemed to have spent the last 20 minutes posting hundreds of words about what poetry should aspire to, and I haven't seen a single gesture from you, not even a trolling gesture, pretty weak IMO.
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How many poets wrote a manifesto? Did Shakespeare? 'The best words in the best order' is good advice and you'll only get there through lots of reading, writing, editing and feedback from educated people.
 
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mixed_biscuits

mixed_biscuits

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Corpsey said:
This is what Eliot said about free verse.

The man you've posted off YouTube hasn't got the requisite skill to pull off the patterns without using redundant words, tying himself in convoluted knots, etc. Which isn't necessarily even a knock because very few people (as far as I'm aware) do have that skill or ever did.

Yeats and Larkin are two that spring to mind as being able to sustain whole, grammatically lucid, sentences across the breadth of long, rhymed stanzas.
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You're assuming he's aiming at that; I think he likes structures that have a bit of tangle to them, like a vine, but are all joined up on closer inspection. As for redundancy his is pretty low, and on the sound pattern plane free verse has very large redundancy.
 
mixed_biscuits

mixed_biscuits

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Going to a poetry writers group can be helpful as there will be good writers there who can offer advice. But the advice may not be understood if the feel for language is lacking.
 
luka

luka

Well-known member
this is a poem by mixed biscuits as posted on the everyone else less wonderful poem thread

Draw a petalled planche
Pen a rundown ranch
Air of louche insouciance
Étanche, étanche, étanche
A crescent lock descends
Miserium’s end, forfend
The come-hither eye
Should shut: good chance, goodbye
The dappled dribble
Smoulder’d stubble. GRISÂTRE
All my rubble set quite fast
In the sunspell after
 
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luka

luka

Well-known member
this is another one. the emojis are a nice modern touch in my opinion

Eathly, we rerose and
Picked baccae anew from
Wafery leaf,
On knarry tree,
By smeked clouds. ;)
We perched packs thereof
- muonic blots -
On sweeny shoulder,
Unlaid stirrups,
Gobbed our oxlike steeds
With ansate bawdry. :D
My bacca dhooly was exemed:
A spadix marked
The groved spot for loungy relaxation.
:cool:
 
luka

luka

Well-known member
not neccessarily the sort of thing you might expect from the upholder of western tradition
 
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