Search results

Calm down, dear.

I also found this on Twitter, which is miles better

I tried earlier, but it was having major problems with the chariot, sword and fleeing Muslims (probably didn't help I was using a free generator that only gives you 20 pics a day). So I went for a simpler portrait of Kate with a trident, defending the Cenotaph, backed by Tommy Robinson and a...

Easter Sunday: ear-piercing thundercrack across London as she bursts out of the Cenotaph in a chariot, in full military dress, wielding a trident and the Sword of Mordaunt, and purges the land of Islam. Either that, or she was about to warn David Icke that Meghan's daughter Lilibet is actually...

One of my favourite bands is Slaughter & The Dogs...I've always enjoyed their Do It Dog Style LP and Cranked Up Really High/The Bitch 7". Was shocked today to discover there were 2 more Cranked Up... outtake songs I'd never heard. I could have easily picked 'em up on a cheapo odds 'n' sods CD...

This is one of my pet hates - like those wankers who claim dolphins and whales aren't fish. Go on, make a fruit salad or a trifle with some tomatoes. Was going to post Baked Beans & Egg by Macka B but someone will probably pop up going "Beans aren't vegetables, they're legumes!". So you're...

Guess the UK entry won't be the lowest ranked this year, even though the video looks like a crack addict having a seizure.

The biscuit world equivalent of a stamped dove.

Yep that's the one. Maybe it's just one cow, now I'm looking at it. (was just about to do a Sotos parody about crawling around glory holes for jaffa cake crumbs...prob best you deleted it, lol)

The one with the two cows stamped on it. Trademark of quality. I quite liked the matcha Kit Kat and another mad Jap flavour, think it was apple pie? @sufi , I couldn't enjoy a biscuit like that, reminds me of missing children posters. @william_kent We also had a work tradition of bringing...

When I was 17, I thought music journalism would be a good way of avoiding an honest day’s work. Then I saw Bjork and PJ Harvey doing a cover of Satisfaction at the 1994 Brit Awards and thought: maybe not. But then, in 2007, I landed my dream job – on the hip London style ’n’ culture bible...

83: VARIOUS – “CHEAP AND NASTY VOL 1” LP ‘Canned Maggot Records -Made In Hackney’?? ‘Sleevenotes by ALF GARNET’??? Must be another megadose of the sort of mind-rotting PUNK ROCK muck that drives Mojo hacks to tears. In this case, ‘Alf Garnet’ was listed Londoner DAVE FERGUSON, king of the...

84: JJ BURNEL - "FREDDIE LAKER/DO THE EUROPEAN" OK, this is really Stranglers bassist Jean-Jacque Burnel’s Euroman Cometh solo LP, but I tend to skip the other nine tracks: these two would have made a great 12”. The other songs aren’t completely awful, but the album’s basically junk-sick...

I don't think he dared reference Lockerbie, but yeah, 'hotter than a barbecue in Fred West's back garden' was his style. He also used to go on and on about Jo Brand and Gerry Adams.

85: WILLIAM KENT, DEPICTED AS THE SUN KING uh, I mean COIL - "LOVE'S SECRET DOMAIN" LP I learned my first spell in infant school: RAIN RAIN, GO AWAY / COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY. It’s a good one to cast if you’re moving flat and a storm’s brewing. I’ve never known it to fail, but there are two...

I could be wrong, but think the 'hair metal' tag came about as a perjorative in the '90s, when retro programmes would tell you that the entire world was into Poison and Vixen until Nirvana blew everyone's minds by releasing Teen Spirit, burying the hair metallers overnight, etc etc. But I can't...

The bloke bottom right in that Tuff pic looks like the 'Emo Dad' meme :) Hanoi Rocks were cool - total New York Dolls rip-off, but they did it well. Their drummer Razzle, who died in a carcrash with the Motley Crue singer, also played with anarcho-punks The Apostles for a short while. And all...

86: THE VIOLATORS – “SUMMER OF ’81 / LIVE FAST DIE YOUNG” 7” We’re probably not going to get that much decent Goth/Oi! crossover during our brief stint on this planet, so I kinda feel compelled to rave about the tiny smattering of tunes bequeathed to us by THE VIOLATORS. I know next to...

I've actually got more of a problem with their guardians. Lucie Manette's dad is particularly annoying: I wanted to reach through the pages and shake him out of his catatonic shoemaking stupor. Nell's youth is largely wasted thanks to her dickhead grandfather too.