actually Fock It i may as well:
[Later comment on a penitential prayer from early 2018:
"This first one is riddled with problems; ironically for something supposed to be penitential, I hope HASHEM forives me for writing all this! I overcorrected from Gnosis and Hermetica in favor of a mischaracterisation of the Rabbinic tradition, paranoid that the former would lead me to idolatry, and thinking there was some essential difference between 'Judaism' and 'Christianity', thinking the Rabbinites were the only 'authentic' vehicle for Jewish tradition. All it took to find out this was not true was growing up a little, actually talking to people.
I no longer believe in eternal punishment for temporal sins.
USB – UNIVERSAL SALVATION OR BUST – 28 February 2020"]
"'How can I ever hope to attain you when I am so unlike you, created not in your essence, but only in your image, opposite, distorted and watery reflection of your Majesty, Absoluteness, Oneness?' -
HASHEM is not a rung to be attained, or even a climb to be endured – to none of these may HASHEM even be likened. Rather, HASHEM can be likened to a companion on the road – you may only come to know him through a conversation in motion.
HASHEM creates not 'in an essence', but generates one substance whose name is 'כל' (ALL), from a centre whose name is 'אין' (NOT). It is you and all that really sustains and constitutes you, being of that substance , who may be called 'full'.
צלם is no mere 'image' or 'shadow' – it is, as Scholem says, a plastic form. It may be empty, but only YOU can fill it in, only your face may behold its face. And the entire thrust of דמותנו ('our likeness') is that man must be compared to HASHEM and HASHEM to man, as a prerequisite. Where else may you begin, who else's mind do you know other than social mankind's?
If you are 'opposite', you are complementary. Not solely complementary, but you interlock where you are supposed to interlock as a human being. And in being placed 'opposite', you are no mere reflection, as we have said! - You are of a world-filling, world-sustaining substance, and there is a subtler and higher form - which is material, and that only your complete corporeality made perfect may fill!
You are mostly water, but this is nothing to be ashamed of. The load you were placing on the word 'watery' was, again, one of mere reflection – but you are the water on which the LIGHTS play. You are, too, the silt in its shallows and the stones at its depths, you are the fires under those depths and you are the lights at the surface, you are the wings over it and the fins in it.
You placed emphasis on an othering oneness of your chosen ideal, your mind's god-object, and forgot the unifying otherness of the real HASHEM. You ascribed the absolute and the essence to your god-object, and forgot the play of the unfixed in the becoming-real of your GOD.
And for all of this, for ascribing guilt to yourself for existing, HASHEM forgives you still.
Because you are so forgiven, the rest of the text does not to be labored over. We are not writing a midrash halakhah, but something to make you less anxious about your changing body, which is the continuous work of GOD. Being inexhaustible, his attention to shaping your body - threading it throughout your life, to go through the door which is death - is as singular as it is with each body, with each smaller body which makes up your body, with the immense body that is the cosmos at each level. Render Him thanks in Your heart for such a work! AMEN"