bandz ahoy
Luka was obsessed with Brock Lesnar for a while


padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape

The Ultimate Warrior's famous, completely nuts Wrestlemania VI promo, four minutes of the most truly inspired nonsense you will ever see

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape

he doesn't even turn around to face the camera until like 90 seconds in

I'm definitely not a "what about the children" person but like, who thought this was a good idea for children


I can honestly say that WWF all but ruined my childhood or teenage years, whatever. I lived in a tiny village and there were like six kids roughly my age to hang out with and they all LOVED wrestling to the extent that they watched the videos again and again and again, they bought the toys, they talked about wrestling constantly, and, worst of all, they kept trying the moves on anyone or anything that caught their eye. You have no idea the amount of times I'd be quietly walking along somewhere minding my own business - and suddenly feel myself grabbed roughly from behind and thrown through the air (probably into the road) while some twat shouted "Suplex!" or something. This went on for years and years I should say, I pretty come out in a rash if I hear any of this stuff mentioned.
One of those guys, who was actually a skinny little runt, somehow bulked up and became Gallows Man (basically the Undertaker but with a different name and much crapper) to actually go and do wrestling on a sorta semi-professional UK circuit I believe. I mean I kinda lost touch with him but I've seen pictures, they're just totally insane.

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
my earliest formative wrestling memory is renting Wrestlemania VII on VHS (yup) with the Macho Man v. Ultimate Warrior retirement match

that was the year of Gulf War I, so the headliner match was Hulk v. traitor Sgt Slaughter, but even at the age of 6 that preordained jingoistic nonsense rang hollow to me

Macho Man/UW tho, that was human drama

it went for like 10 minutes, an eternity for wrestling, so long that UW's facepaint sweated off, the only time you ever saw his real face underneath

only the first part is on YT, but I seem to remember them hugging afterward

Macho Man's on/off paramour (and IRL wife) Elizabeth reunited with him and helped him out of the ring


padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
they're all dead now - Macho Man, Warrior, Elizabeth - as so many pro wrestlers of the 80s + 90s are

but of course as a child you didn't know about the dark underbelly of roids, drug abuse, domestic abuse, etc

guys destroying their bodies doing 200 shows a year or whatever

idk at its heights wrestling achieves a Shakespearian grandeur, underpinning the vulgarity

I know there are adult fans who continue to follow it. I could never, just can't get past the endless reams of nonsense, the racial stuff etc.

but it's a thing, to look back on

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
oh yeah + Brock Lesnar

I've never been able to get past his chicken legs (the florid face doesn't help either)

he's this Olympian giant from the waist up, sat ponderously on regular human legs

he's like the Platonic ideal of glamor muscles


Can turn naughty
Sorry to hear that, IdleRich.

You just reminded me of a crazy night. I was at a really weird party in Berlin where you went through a course of rooms with twin peaks and roman fertility ritual themes. At the end of the course you came to a big banquet room with some posh nosh and champers and after that there was a big hall with a circular curtain. After a short gig played by this cosmic old lady with a viking helmet from the hippy days in SF, the curtain was drawn and a big fighting ring was revealed. Well wouldn't you know it, the cream of the UK wrestling scene climbs up on the ropes and starts bashing the shit out of each other. I got bored fast and saw the door to the green room where the wrestlers had come from. Ended up chatting with a girl and nicking a bottle of bubbly and taking it back to the green room only to find there was a small samba gig going on up there, I guess just for the performers? After that cleared out, me and my new friend well on our way, the wrestlers come in after their match and we're doing an acapella freestyle duet on the small PA. Out of the blue I hear my name being called and one of the wrestlers takes off her mask. Oh shit, it's an ex of mine from back in London! She'd always wanted to be an actress, serious like. Went to schools and all sorts. Furthest she got was xmas panto. Somehow she'd landed in wrestling and a year or two ago I saw she'd won some big belt. She looked like she was really enjoying it. Good on her I guess?


Guess so...
I wouldn't have dared take the champers from the wrestlers' green room, would have been worried about being somehow roped into it, pulled into the ring and expected to fake knocking someone out with it.

Sorry to hear that, IdleRich
Ah I'll live. Just one more of those shitty small town (well village) things I guess.


Well-known member
Was "Randy Savage" intended to be taken as a name or the equivalent of "Horny Barbarian"?

Nah that doesn't translate to here lol

Originally before he got to WWF, Randy Savage was like a sort of... Almost Mansonite looking character, trying to convey a psychopathic outlaw. He was big in the south, specifically Memphis.

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The "Macho Man" persona was basically him tonight himself down into being a more family friendly 'character'. Which is the case for so many of these guys; Ultimate Warrior was originally the Dingo Warrior of the Bladerunners an obvious rip-off of the Road Warriors (who they themselves were ripping off the Mad Max films). Hogan was originally a sort of lunatic mute giant in Minnesota. There's a complicated and nebulous backhistory prior to the WWF of these men traveling and taking their 'act' across different parts of the country separated by hundreds of miles to different companies doing live shows or televised spectacles long before the WWF became a nationally televised product and McMahon went out of his way to demolish those 'territories' in order to be the one major traveling circus by 2001.


Interestingly there's been a huge boom in wrestling in the UK in the last decade (have a few friends that've gone to some of the bigger shows, Odai included) but noticing it hasn't permeated at all for folks here.
It used to be massive in the 70's/80's - great cartoonish characters like big daddy, giant haystacks, the mysterious masked kendo nagasaki, etc etc televised on saturday afternoons on world of sport with full glam fakery, MSM homoeroticism, showbiz and tabloid glory, well before US style made it over the pond,
it was so unashamedly naff that it plummeted out of fashion for decades but now seems to be back on in croydon, edmonton etc, perhaps similarly to how the darts has got a new lease of life as a sort of ironic drunken stag rampage up at ally pally


It was stereotyped as an old grannys thing, theyd be at the live shows with blue rinses shouting "smash is fucking lights out" and so on


i guess this is extremely anglo-saxon? literally know nobody watching wrestling
I met some guys here in Portugal who were hugely into it, it was one of the first things they mentioned about themselves. They were kinda intellectual types so maybe it was ironic but they'd definitely seen it and knew all about it. Fuck knows why.