The dissensus personal defence armoury

[muser]

The world is my toilet now

 

[version]

I have a baseball bat, a billhook, a crowbar, an axe, an air rifle and a chainsaw. I dunno how to use the chainsaw though. It's just gathering dust.

 

[version]

My brother's mate, the one who prints sex toys, has a crossbow and a propane torch he's pissed about with that's apparently pretty mad.

 

[john eden]

Also good for cooking.

Usual caveat about being shit at fighting applies.

 

[version]

Some of those handles look evil. Are you some sort of high fantasy assassin?

 

[john eden]

Some of those handles look evil. Are you some sort of high fantasy assassin?

just ordinary culinary wear and tear, @version ordinary wear and tear.

 

[john eden]

also good fo keeping doors open.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Some of those handles look evil. Are you some sort of high fantasy assassin?

"It was moi knoife. Oi laast it in a game of doice - to Tyrion Laannister."

 

[john eden]

Generally carrying weapons out and about is to be discouraged.

 

[john eden]

None of us are The Punisher eh.

 

[john eden]

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there are nutritious exceptions though.

 

[version]

Yeah, I've never carried a weapon. I just have stuff at home that could be used as one if someone broke in and tried to kill me. It's all stuff that's just accumulated over the years. I don't actively look for and buy the stuff. Think I just found the bat on the floor somewhere, some of them were things people wanted rid of that were in the back of a shed etc.

 

[Mr. Tea]

I have a baseball bat, a billhook, a crowbar, an axe, an air rifle and a chainsaw.

 

[john eden]

My home has already seen more than its fair share of brutal killing.

 

[Mr. Tea]

YOU MADE US SAD, JOHN

 

[linebaugh]

those floors!

 

[john eden]

Well if it helps I usually have to chase the victim and aggressor around the flat and generally rescue the former.

Including infamously that one time when the mouse disappeared near the front door. Because it had run up the inside of my jeans and was in my pants.

 

[version]

Well if it helps I usually have to chase the victim and aggressor around the flat and generally rescue the former.

Including infamously that one time when the mouse disappeared near the front door. Because it had run up the inside of my jeans and was in my pants.

Johnny Two Shoes. Is the cat called Thomas?

 

[Mr. Tea]

those floors!

Yeah John, do you live in a Travelodge foyer or something?

 

[john eden]

Johnny Two Shoes. Is the cat called Thomas?

She is called Zip.