spiral tribe - the good bits

william_kent

Well-known member
What pisses me off about ST is chucking 50 notes into a documentary maker’s gofundme about free parties and never being able to access an actual screening (Aaron Trinder I’m looking at you). Got sent some stickers instead, ta

I got sent those "love cabbage" stickers as well. I left them lying around on the coffee table. Almost immediately I noticed a slight odour of vomit in my living room. Once I threw the stickers away it disappeared.

It must be the ink they used. I had the same experience when, as a pretentious teenager, I once borrowed the "Tibetan Book Of The Dead" from the local library, but never read it because as soon as it came anywhere near my face I was overwhelmed by the smell of sick.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Just start using CDJs man

Between +16 and "wide" tempo function you can make music whatever speed you want
I totally am gonna. Decision is hundred percent made, it's just a matter of finding the time and will to do enough practice to get up to speed, plus putting a few sets worth of tunes on a stick... after that I'm away. Would save me a lot of hassle if I can do that before I go Serbia at end of month right...
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I got sent those "love cabbage" stickers as well. I left them lying around on the coffee table. Almost immediately I noticed a slight odour of vomit in my living room. Once I threw the stickers away it disappeared.

It must be the ink they used. I had the same experience when, as a pretentious teenager, I once borrowed the "Tibetan Book Of The Dead" from the local library, but never read it because as soon as it came anywhere near my face I was overwhelmed by the smell of sick.
Careful with that, in The Name of the Rose it was poisoned ink placed at the corners of the pages of the cursed book which killed the readers - they (the monks I mean) licked their fingers to turn the pages, and in Seinfeld George's fiance died from licking hundreds of old stamps using a now banned adhesive for their wedding invitations...

Oh there were some spoilers there sorry.
 

william_kent

Well-known member
there was once a fifty pence store in an arcade that was destroyed by the IRA bomb in Manchester

and on the shelves there was a range of "toys' with the title "vomit heads" - adorned with the slogan: "dare you sniff?" - and, yes, I dared... they were weird rubber creations and you had to sort of squeeze them, which I did, and I gagged, and it was amazing that I didn't spew all over because the smell was SO bad...

a few months later there was an article in the Manchester Evening News about how the range of toys had been banned by Trading Standards for emitting highly toxic gases...

anyway, not as bad as the time I emptied out a bin in the backyard of shared house that was full of maggots and I did almost puke on the spot
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
Just start using CDJs man

Between +16 and "wide" tempo function you can make music whatever speed you want

wait what? why are you defending that CIA psyop? virtualdj + s2 is the way to go. Can even set it to go into 4 deck mode. then add room modelling in vcv rack to really make it feel like the club is falling on ur head.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Thing is I got all excited about this ready to do fucking serious damage... but as I wait for the records and the days become weeks, weeks become months... I'll lose hope... then one day in the far distant future, probably a warped copy of one of them will arrive and I'll be like, what the fuck is this? I don't play stuff like this, what was I thinking? Must have been high as fuck... I do miss a functioning post ai much, now it's a torture, the record (or book or whatever) is right there, you just gotta click on it, and I fall for it again and again. @martin do you remember some book you read about a werewolf? It was maybe victorian or something, you made it sound great, so I didn't say anything, just ordered a copy... months later id completely forgotten it and I got a message from Amazon, you have been refunded for that fucking sick werewolf book - it made it's long lonely journey by sea half-way round the world to Lisbon, from Lisbon probably by road to Sy Iria where it say on a shelf about 100m from where I sit now gathering dust, there were almost certainly times when I went in them fucking place, it may have been within my reach. Until eventually someone went "Well, obviously that guy ain't telepathic, send the book back to Wellington" - someone probably stared at the package wondering why I didn't come, why I'd changed my mind, at one point maybe someone said "it's strange you know, it's almost like he doesn't know it's here, it's that friendly English guy we chat with, perhaps I should... oh it's lunchtime fuck it".

There was another one, got chatting to some author guy on Twitter, promised to read his work, be honest. He primed me on all the characters, some extra elements I might miss... I ordered it, few months later up popped the refund. Too embarrassed to communicate with him again. Please let these ones slip through the bet, one of them at least, let me have one
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
At least you got it I don't understand how these things just sit there in storage with my name and address in them. It would be so easy to let me know, it would clear up some space in their office. What are they doing. I think it just depends what Portman you get, some of them are fine, they take it to the address it says on it tong the doorbell, no answer they try a couple more days, leave a card. But some of them, I swear to God they just say no, letters only, that thing is about twelve inches across, fuck am I taking that up to the third floor. Who does he to think he is, up there in his penthouse buying things. Thinks he's god living up there in the sky looking down us like we're scum Motherfucker.

In fact there is this one post woman who tings the bell and then I will push the button to open the door and then you hear her go "I'm not coming up," which, you know, I don't care, I will happily walk down to get something if the alternative is she chucks it in the skip but.. I mean, she's a postman, I thought postmen were supposed to take mail and packages to the given address... is it normal to refuse to go upstairs? Every single building in this village is a block of flats, if she refuses to leave the ground then that means she will only deliver ten percent of the people.

When I was a kid my mate Mark had a paper round in Uffington, there was this one house that was kinda out of the village,bothered this long straight road about Mike heading to Faringdon or something and he'd do his round and nine times out of ten he'd decide I'm not walking there and back it's two miles, he'd chuck that paper away. You would see the guy come in the shop and say I didn't get my paper again so the guy would give Mark a bollocking and then he'd deliver it next couple days. Then he'd stop again, chuck it away.

Mark was fifteen, he was a famously lazy twat. He got fired. But they're letting a grown woman do the same thing to ninety percent of the village, no repercussions. That doesn't seem right somehow.
 

william_kent

Well-known member
At least you got it I don't understand how these things just sit there in storage with my name and address in them. It would be so easy to let me know, it would clear up some space in their office. What are they doing. I think it just depends what Portman you get, some of them are fine, they take it to the address it says on it tong the doorbell, no answer they try a couple more days, leave a card. But some of them, I swear to God they just say no, letters only, that thing is about twelve inches across, fuck am I taking that up to the third floor. Who does he to think he is, up there in his penthouse buying things. Thinks he's god living up there in the sky looking down us like we're scum Motherfucker.

In fact there is this one post woman who tings the bell and then I will push the button to open the door and then you hear her go "I'm not coming up," which, you know, I don't care, I will happily walk down to get something if the alternative is she chucks it in the skip but.. I mean, she's a postman, I thought postmen were supposed to take mail and packages to the given address... is it normal to refuse to go upstairs? Every single building in this village is a block of flats, if she refuses to leave the ground then that means she will only deliver ten percent of the people.

When I was a kid my mate Mark had a paper round in Uffington, there was this one house that was kinda out of the village,bothered this long straight road about Mike heading to Faringdon or something and he'd do his round and nine times out of ten he'd decide I'm not walking there and back it's two miles, he'd chuck that paper away. You would see the guy come in the shop and say I didn't get my paper again so the guy would give Mark a bollocking and then he'd deliver it next couple days. Then he'd stop again, chuck it away.

Mark was fifteen, he was a famously lazy twat. He got fired. But they're letting a grown woman do the same thing to ninety percent of the village, no repercussions. That doesn't seem right somehow.

I'm on a floor with a magick number - in fact it is the number of "magick" ( check your copy of 777 if you don't get the reference )

I get almost all of my orders

but sometimes I don't

fucking amazon delivery people seem to think its ok to leave deliveries in the public foyer where anyone can just pocket the goods

and I have a golden rule, no appointment, I'm not answering the door

usually because it's going to end in grief, like the last time i answered when I was expecting someone else but it was the water board who I'd sucessfully evaded for 20 years... but that's another story, etc.,
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
It's funny how much thid sort of thing depends on where you live but in this block I would sooooo wish they would leave parcels lying in the stairwell or "foyer' such as it is. Cos of course if they don't deliver it it can very easily vanish in the postal system, just gone. Really tantalizing, it's sort of like Bitcoin on n a way I guess, if the package ain't where it's supposed to be then it has just gone, cos there is no way to follow it, no code to crack or anything, of it is not where the info says it might as well be in a black hole. It might be inches away but you have no way of knowing.

Other side of the thing. Noone in this block is gonna nick anything. They are really unfriendly old battleaxes but they are prim and proper and I'll take my chances of a packet being left on the stairs where one of them lot can grab it over it disappearing into the monstrous and insatiable maw of the postal system any day of the week.
 

william_kent

Well-known member
It's funny how much thid sort of thing depends on where you live but in this block I would sooooo wish they would leave parcels lying in the stairwell or "foyer' such as it is. Cos of course if they don't deliver it it can very easily vanish in the postal system, just gone. Really tantalizing, it's sort of like Bitcoin on n a way I guess, if the package ain't where it's supposed to be then it has just gone, cos there is no way to follow it, no code to crack or anything, of it is not where the info says it might as well be in a black hole. It might be inches away but you have no way of knowing.

Other side of the thing. Noone in this block is gonna nick anything. They are really unfriendly old battleaxes but they are prim and proper and I'll take my chances of a packet being left on the stairs where one of them lot can grab it over it disappearing into the monstrous and insatiable maw of the postal system any day of the week.

i see the Amazon "delivered"email and i have to hurriedly dress and dash down to the foyer before any of the drug addled c***s that I share oxygen with can rob me
but doesn't always work
and like last week there was an unexpected knock at the door and i turned off any audio in panic and then i checked the door and someone had deposited an empty packet of cadburys milk chocolate rolls on my doorstep and i was a bit nonplussed and maybe a bit disturbed because were some bailiffs after me? I'm almost legal but not quite...
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I totally agree by the way with you on the never open the door or answer the phone to random strangers. When you've bailiffs on you like that you get into they habit.
 

william_kent

Well-known member
I totally agree by the way with you on the never open the door or answer the phone to random strangers. When you've bailiffs on you like that you get into they habit.

no appointment - no answer

otherwise it's hassle you don't want or need

unfortunately sometimes you expect a call and and answer the door and then unexpectedly it's some cunt that you would never have answered the door to, which is how I got caught out and now i have to pay water bills after decades of never paying a penny
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I think a lot of people have that attitude. I mean I'm not suspicious, if I saw s helpless child I wouldn't assume it was a trap or anything like that.
 

william_kent

Well-known member
obviously I'm a little bit angry, maybe aggravated, even a little pissed off about the time when I was expecting a visit off the "landlord" to check that the smoke alarm was working, which i'm perfectly fine with, but instead it was the water board, who I had successfully evaded for "years:" and I thought I had dodged them with "no I don't want a so called smart meter" and slammed the door in their face but then a week later a letter arrived and rather than being addressed to "The Resident" like all the others that I had thrown in the bin, this one had my real name on it...

lessons learned; never answer your front door ( unless your close friends have arranged to visit at strictly prearranged time)
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
One time mysterious letter through the door with my name on and it said something like phone this number to learn something to your advantage. I was staring at it, I knew it was a trap but I couldn't resist. In the end I phoned it like a moron. And it was someone that Harringey council had paid to track me down and they tried to bill me for like £1500 council tax - but they had fucked up, I could prove I'd been living in Hackney at that time and paying council tax there. So it was a complete waste of time for them they had the wrong info somehow. But of course I should have never rang that number.
 

william_kent

Well-known member
One time mysterious letter through the door with my name on and it said something like phone this number to learn something to your advantage. I was staring at it, I knew it was a trap but I couldn't resist. In the end I phoned it like a moron. And it was someone that Harringey council had paid to track me down and they tried to bill me for like £1500 council tax - but they had fucked up, I could prove I'd been living in Hackney at that time and paying council tax there. So it was a complete waste of time for them they had the wrong info somehow. But of course I should have never rang that number.

oh, I've had letters from "detective agencies" addressed to "the resident" where they're expecting me to snitch on my neighbours, but you know what?, fuck them, I learnt in the playground, "never grass!" *

* an ethic which has resulted in moral dilemmas such as when I witnessed two dudes stomping on some guy's head and where I had to ponder "well., yes, it's payday but was it really wise to flash your notes in the most notorious pub in the dodgiest estate" and I had to conclude that the guy was a fucking idiot and no way was I going to be a witness in court, which is something that hadn't even occurred to me until now...etc.,

don't grass...etc.,
 
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