Gonna put another thing here that I heard and which comes to mind even though it doesn't fit especially. It's just a lovely story.
Igor got a friend called Adam who is a nice guy but he's in this (horrible) band (I mean horrible) who make this reggae metal crossover and they have a bit of a following in Japan for some inexplicable (truly mystifying) reason. So this guy Adam was telling us about this gig there recently.
After the gig he was stood at the bar and he sees this girl just kinda staring at him across the room, he looks again and yeah, her eyes are fucking fixed on him. And she shouts across at him "Bald!" and he says "You what?" and she says "Bald!'" and he's like "Nah, I'm not bald, I got loads of hair" - which is true cos sadly he's got dreads, but she shouted "No - I have bald pussy!".