The most horrific thing I've ever heard

[IdleRich]

Made possibly even worse by its ridiculous, sort of sinisterly twee name... The Nutty Putty Tragedy!

I dunno how well known this, or if any of you will know it or what, but basically Nutty Putty is or in fact was the name of a cave in the wilds of Utah. Apparently most of it is a relatively easy cave for amateurs to explore, but there are a couple of bits which should send anyone with claustrophobia into palpitations just by description, maybe even by name alone. One of them is called the Birth Canal is an extraordinarily narrow crack which ultimately takes the form of a long tube through the rock which people - as long as they are short enough and thing enough - are able to traverse by kinda wiggling, twisting and bending. It seems to be so narrow that you have align your body parts in different directions at different parts of the journey... well, it sounds an absolute nightmare, but some total fucking psychos do it for fun. Anyway, on the occasion that I happened to read about today, it seems that a couple of brothers decided to go caving for their thanks giving or whatever, seems that they did it fairly often and were pretty good at it. I guess they were mormons so perhaps all actual fun stuff was prohibited I dunno. Anyway, he went through the birth canal I think and then took some kind of wrong turn and then basically he got completely wedged, face down and had to call his brother for help, so he managed to crawl through the first bit and get hold of his legs but he couldn't pull him out so in the end they got all these rescuers and they took turns going through and trying to pull him out and they set up a pulley system going all through the rock just to fucking pull him out but it broke and after basically twenty odd hours stuck face down in a really tight hole, unable to move or breathe properly or anything he just fucking died.

I'm not properly claustrophobic I don't think but just the idea of going through the birth canal thing safely gives me the howling fantods. And to be stuck like that, miles from air, in a hole from an all but unreachable chamber. Jesus Christ. At least, I suppose, I know it will never happen to me, well, I hope. I mean if your fear is heights then you might fall or whatever, but I know I"ll never get stuff like that cos I will never ever ever ever go caving like that. Although I am thinking of that Edgar Allen Poe story where his one fear is being buried alive and he spends his whole life trying to work out how to avoid that happening to him, rigging up bells in his crypt and so on and yet, somehow.... but I digress.

So if you really want to have nightmares, watch the video below, I may have got some of the details wrong cos of being too horrified to concentrate properly... enjoy!

 

[Mr. Tea]

I read about this about a year ago. It's one of things that, once you know about it, you never really recover from, I think.

 

[chava]

Personally I can't imagine anything worse. I can't even watch movies which involves this kind of claustrophobia, so no I'm not going to watch that clip

 

[william_kent]

for some reason, like I once watched one, I get loads of these sorts of videos in my youtube recommendations

an even more stupid hobby than caving is 'cave diving' where you get to die underwater in an enclosed space

it's up there with base jumping and wingsuit flying as hobbies that I will never dream of trying

fun fact: the doctor who faked wrote Kurt Cobain's autopsy report 'wrote the book on wingsuit safety'. Guess how he died...

 

[IdleRich]

Cave diving?

 

[Mr. Tea]

fun fact: the doctor who faked wrote Kurt Cobain's autopsy report 'wrote the book on wingsuit safety'. Guess how he died...

Being injected with a deliberate heroin overdose by his wife Shooting his head off?

 

[william_kent]

Cave diving?

Eagle's Nest Cave Diving Tragedy - Research Mission Gone WRONG

 

[martin]

Made possibly even worse by its ridiculous, sort of sinisterly twee name... The Nutty Putty Tragedy!

I dunno how well known this, or if any of you will know it or what, but basically Nutty Putty is or in fact was the name of a cave in the wilds of Utah. Apparently most of it is a relatively easy cave for amateurs to explore, but there are a couple of bits which should send anyone with claustrophobia into palpitations just by description, maybe even by name alone. One of them is called the Birth Canal is an extraordinarily narrow crack which ultimately takes the form of a long tube through the rock which people - as long as they are short enough and thing enough - are able to traverse by kinda wiggling, twisting and bending. It seems to be so narrow that you have align your body parts in different directions at different parts of the journey... well, it sounds an absolute nightmare, but some total fucking psychos do it for fun. Anyway, on the occasion that I happened to read about today, it seems that a couple of brothers decided to go caving for their thanks giving or whatever, seems that they did it fairly often and were pretty good at it. I guess they were mormons so perhaps all actual fun stuff was prohibited I dunno. Anyway, he went through the birth canal I think and then took some kind of wrong turn and then basically he got completely wedged, face down and had to call his brother for help, so he managed to crawl through the first bit and get hold of his legs but he couldn't pull him out so in the end they got all these rescuers and they took turns going through and trying to pull him out and they set up a pulley system going all through the rock just to fucking pull him out but it broke and after basically twenty odd hours stuck face down in a really tight hole, unable to move or breathe properly or anything he just fucking died.

I'm not properly claustrophobic I don't think but just the idea of going through the birth canal thing safely gives me the howling fantods. And to be stuck like that, miles from air, in a hole from an all but unreachable chamber. Jesus Christ. At least, I suppose, I know it will never happen to me, well, I hope. I mean if your fear is heights then you might fall or whatever, but I know I"ll never get stuff like that cos I will never ever ever ever go caving like that. Although I am thinking of that Edgar Allen Poe story where his one fear is being buried alive and he spends his whole life trying to work out how to avoid that happening to him, rigging up bells in his crypt and so on and yet, somehow.... but I digress.

So if you really want to have nightmares, watch the video below, I may have got some of the details wrong cos of being too horrified to concentrate properly... enjoy!

At least when skydiving goes wrong, you get a nice view on the way out. Don't get the appeal of caving at all...even if there's no incident, what then. an anecdote about spending two hours wriggling through a fissure? Also, something Icarian and heroic about tumbling from the clouds, compared to dying face-down in a puddle of bat piss.

This one turns my palms into sprinklers



Though the most horrific thing I've ever heard is still the Luton bread man...death by hobby can't compete.

 

[IdleRich]

BASE jumping and the wing suit thing are pretty terrifying and I'm sure extremely dangerous but the consequences when it goes wrong don't give me the sheer skin crawling agony that hits me with the thought of being trapped in a confined place.

Or Martin put it pretty well why I was writing that post in fact.

At least when skydiving goes wrong, you get a nice view on the way out. Don't get the appeal of caving at all...even if there's no incident, what then. an anecdote about spending two hours wriggling through a fissure? Also, something Icarian and heroic about tumbling from the clouds, compared to dying face-down in a puddle of bat piss.

I hear you with the cave diving though, I've seen about that, the thing is they have to calculate the air they have and how far they can go with deadly accuracy, and if they get it wrong... well often it's not that they get it wrong, it's just that if something happens that causes you to exert yourself a tiny bit more, and thus spend a tiny bit more oxygen then you're fucked. So it seems like your line gets snagged on a rock and you spend a couple of minutes trying to get it off, and then you realise that suddenly you're 5k under the surface and you only have enough oxygen to go up by 4.8, and there is nothing you can do, just slowly watch your oxygen run out as you die utterly alone, miles from humanity and love in a cold and dirty trench that mankind was never meant to enter.

 

[HMGovt’s Glorious Return!]

BASE jumping and the wing suit thing are pretty terrifying and I'm sure extremely dangerous but the consequences when it goes wrong don't give me the sheer skin crawling agony that hits me with the thought of being trapped in a confined place.

Or Martin put it pretty well why I was writing that post in fact.



I hear you with the cave diving though, I've seen about that, the thing is they have to calculate the air they have and how far they can go with deadly accuracy, and if they get it wrong... well often it's not that they get it wrong, it's just that if something happens that causes you to exert yourself a tiny bit more, and thus spend a tiny bit more oxygen then you're fucked. So it seems like your line gets snagged on a rock and you spend a couple of minutes trying to get it off, and then you realise that suddenly you're 5k under the surface and you only have enough oxygen to go up by 4.8, and there is nothing you can do, just slowly watch your oxygen run out as you die utterly alone, miles from humanity and love in a cold and dirty trench that mankind was never meant to enter.

How would you feel about Boris Johnson taking up cave diving?

 

[Mr. Tea]

At least when skydiving goes wrong, you get a nice view on the way out. Don't get the appeal of caving at all...even if there's no incident, what then. an anecdote about spending two hours wriggling through a fissure? Also, something Icarian and heroic about tumbling from the clouds, compared to dying face-down in a puddle of bat piss.

Also, assuming you fall from a sufficiently great height, your death is at least going to be pretty much instant, instead of drawn out over a period of minutes, hours or even (as in the case Rich first mentioned) almost an entire day and night.

 

[IdleRich]

How would you feel about Boris Johnson taking up cave diving?

How do you mean? I don't think he has the physique for it really but I'd be totally indifferent to him taking it up, I can't stay that it's something I want him to do cos there is always the risk that he might enjoy it.

However, if you are asking - and I think you are; suppose Johnson was arrested for his crimes and tried fairly before a jury of his peers who found him guilty, and then a judge ruled that he needed to be sentenced to death by being wedged in a hole - much like the guy in the video - and left alone to go mad with desperation as he semi-suffocated, starved and then finally succumbed to cardiac arrest "and may God have mercy on your soul" - how would I react?

Then I have to say thet, should that somehow happen, I would of course take no pleasure whatsoever in the suffering of a fellow (sort of) man, I'm not some kind of vindictive, primitive ape, but I do suppose that there would be some small satisfaction in knowing that justice - whose wheels as Mr Kipling famously said, do grind slowly but most exceedingly fine - had been served. I would probably pause above the death pit looking down at Johnson, shaking my head sadly and with a suitably inscrutable expression on my face as I contemplated the folly of man, how power can corrupt even those you'd least expect, and how some other people are just fucking massive dickheads right off the bat.

How about you?

 

[sufi]

there's a blue hole in the red sea

Blue Hole (Red Sea) - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The Blue Hole itself is no more dangerous than any other Red Sea dive site but diving through the Arch, a submerged tunnel, which lies within the Blue Hole site, is an extreme dive that has resulted in many accidents and fatalities. The number of Blue Hole fatalities is not accurately recorded; one source estimates 130 divers died during the fifteen-year period from 1997 to 2012, averaging over eight per year, another claims as many as 200. This includes some snorkelling deaths at the surface unrelated to diving the Arch. The Egyptian Chamber For Diving & Watersports (CDWS) now stations a policeman at the Blue Hole to ensure divers are diving with a certified guide who will make sure safety procedures are followed.

 

[sufi]

i read Voltaire's Candide for the first time the other evening, a hilarious romp and an excellent read despite it's a few hundred years old, rightly a classic (in this case a penguin classic: 1940's translation by Butt)

entirely unexpectedly i found myself reminded often of the idlerich prose style - somehow the sentences start out in this very measured and straightfaced tone, but by the end you realise that there is deep sarcasm, double entendre or pointed criticism that twists the meaning upside down, most often in a humorous way

like i say i was surprised that @IdleRich of all people is our modern voltaire - did you even read that book? if not, do - it's short and fantastic
i didnt get paid for this high tribute but i would accept tips

 

[sufi]

i read Voltaire's Candide for the first time the other evening, a hilarious romp and an excellent read despite it's a few hundred years old, rightly a classic (in this case a penguin classic: 1940's translation by Butt)

entirely unexpectedly i found myself reminded often of the idlerich prose style - somehow the sentences start out in this very measured and straightfaced tone, but by the end you realise that there is deep sarcasm, double entendre or pointed criticism that twists the meaning upside down, most often in a humorous way

like i say i was surprised that @IdleRich of all people is our modern voltaire - did you even read that book? if not, do - it's short and fantastic
i didnt get paid for this high tribute but i would accept tips

i should perhaps have posted that in the "waht your reading"thread but maybe this one is also appropriate

 

[IdleRich]

i read Voltaire's Candide for the first time the other evening, a hilarious romp and an excellent read despite it's a few hundred years old, rightly a classic (in this case a penguin classic: 1940's translation by Butt)

entirely unexpectedly i found myself reminded often of the idlerich prose style - somehow the sentences start out in this very measured and straightfaced tone, but by the end you realise that there is deep sarcasm, double entendre or pointed criticism that twists the meaning upside down, most often in a humorous way

like i say i was surprised that @IdleRich of all people is our modern voltaire - did you even read that book? if not, do - it's short and fantastic
i didnt get paid for this high tribute but i would accept tips

Thank you very much Sufi, I have to say that I fear you may be too kind there, generously seeing clever twists and so on that I may not have put there quite on purpose...

Well, I have never read Candide itself sadly, although I have seen the film and (I think) read the book Candy which is a modern take on or pastiche of Voltaire's classic by Terry Southern (who wrote Easy Rider with... Dennis Hopper I think) and, er, someone else. And I'm actually reading another book by Terry Southern right now called The Magic Christian.

If you haven't seen Candy it is worth checking, I remember just loads of silly and surreal scenes stuck together and bolstered with cameos of LOADS of famous people such as Ringo Starr and Marlon Brando

 

[WashYourHands]

posted a while back, an old mate further into town had a tenant above them pass away but no-one was aware for over a week in 36 degree temperatures….

A mate recently had someone in the flat above her die without anyone knowing and ended up with maggots shorting her electric. She got up in the night to flick the mains back on after half waking and hadn’t noticed maggots dropping out of her power sockets and piling up the carpet in the dark. Awoke to scenes of horror

Ended up spending a day hoovering masses of the cunts, taping bags over the sockets to try and contain them, then the polis called to gain access to the upstairs residence. Massive eruption of puking and dead cadaver aromas, followed by having to go for blood tests after the extent of the cadaver’s rotting had been established

Ideally the entire abode would’ve been stripped out, re-plastered and a deep sterilisation worked through wall cavity spaces (given how maggots spread contaminants and disease) but the whole mess has derailed into legal argument. Pretty fuckin skin crawling

decaying bodily fluids running down the interior cavity wall + maggots piling out of plugs + smell when access to property finally established = purest Grim Britannia and £40k compensation

could list case files anonymously but Dissensus doesn’t need all that, ie kidnappings, rapes, torture, fraud, £ laundering, prostitution, waking up to deceased friends, thefts gone wrong (see torture)

the recent case in Glasgow of mass child abuse by a heroin ring has to be the most vile in recent memory

 

[sufi]

Thank you very much Sufi, I have to say that I fear you may be too kind there, generously seeing clever twists and so on that I may not have put there quite on purpose...

Well, I have never read Candide itself sadly, although I have seen the film and (I think) read the book Candy which is a modern take on or pastiche of Voltaire's classic by Terry Southern (who wrote Easy Rider with... Dennis Hopper I think) and, er, someone else. And I'm actually reading another book by Terry Southern right now called The Magic Christian.

If you haven't seen Candy it is worth checking, I remember just loads of silly and surreal scenes stuck together and bolstered with cameos of LOADS of famous people such as Ringo Starr and Marlon Brando

oh i saw that film mentioned maybe i'll check it if it's worth it, it sounded like a porno
but you should read the original book it's short and fantastic

 

[sufi]

anyway back on topic didnt they find a guy who'd died somehow wedged headfirst between two buildings in a regular street somewhere recently like a domestic version of the nutty putty spelunker

 

[IdleRich]

oh i saw that film mentioned maybe i'll check it if it's worth it, it sounded like a porno
but you should read the original book it's short and fantastic

It is something of a sex comedy I seem to remember