Sexy pillow talk guaranteed to get you in the kood.

IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
No names here please, don't want to turn into actual bullying threat....

But, how would you respond to this delicate little tease wich was whispered coquettishly into my ear as I slid between the sheets for the first time with a genuinely beautiful woman...

'I'm sorry if my asshile feels stretched out, it's not actually cos I take it up the arse all the time, the real cause is, when I'm on heroin I get really constipated and I do these enormous shits that really hurt snd I think that they have widened the hole"?

I have to admit that it was one of the rare occasions when I was kind of lost for words....
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
I guess honesty is the best policy and I have to say that a large part of me admired her for being so up-ftont about a subject that many wouldn't dare to raise.

In fact, I thought she was really cool.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
Someone said that that was a kind of 'humblebrag ' and then deletd it for some reason - but @william_kent (or whoever it was who would say something in the middle of the night after drinking a load of rum and then say "I William Kent have decided to delete that post") where is the brag in that post?

That's a genuine question by the way, it just seems a fairly sordid tale all round to be honest.

Now if I'd carried on a bit further and included the bit where, stretched out or no, my enormous penis simply wouldn't fi then yeah I would take your point.... thing is though, that didn't happen.

Speaking on these childishly vulgar matters, I had did have a good laugh the other day when the misses went to put on her eye mask - like you get on planes, your know what I mean - and suddenly I hear her going " mOh no, your big head has stretched it out" - I laughed like a really immature schoolboy for quite some time at that point, whereas she just stared at me with icey contempt the entire time.

I thought that that was quite impressive, to not even twitch for the entire duration, although another possibility has just ccurred to me; could it simply be that I am a boorish lout completely lacking in anything approaching sophistication and anyone with half a brain can easily ignore my jokes cos they are pitched at the level of a five year old? No, that can't be it, I must keep looking for a more plausible solution.....
 
0

0bleak

Well-known member
IdleRich said:
did have a good laugh the other day when the misses went to put on her eye mask - like you get on planes, your know what I mean
Click to expand...

I'm not aware of people getting "eye masks" on planes
is that some kind of thing they give to passengers in "first class", or something that just happens in europe?
 
0

0bleak

Well-known member
yyaldrin said:
this is the first question you could think of after reading all this?
Click to expand...

There is an identical thread that I posted in first:

Sexy pillow talk guaranteed to get you in the kood.

No names here please, don't want to turn into actual bullying threat.... But, how would you respond to this delicate little tease which was whispered coquettishly into my ear as i slid between the sheets for the first time with a genuinely beautiful woman... 'I'm sorry if my asshile feels...
www.dissensus.com
0bleak said:
er, uh...
so many questions...
did that statement really get you in the mood?
had she already asked you to assfuck her?
or had you already asked her and she agreed?
or nobody had previously said anything about it?
or nobody had said anything, but you went that direction and so then she said it?
or she was just letting you know she's down with it, I guess?
Click to expand...
 
M

martin

----
0bleak said:
I'm not aware of people getting "eye masks" on planes
Click to expand...
They're worn by selfish weirdos who think that just because they want to sleep, the whole plane needs to shut up and lights-out. The same people who pull the window flap down even though it's a lovely, sunny afternoon with a fantastic view of the Bosphorus.

I was in the window seat on a flight coming back from Dubai at 5am and got chatting to some Asian bloke in the aisle seat, and we had a few screwdrivers and got a bit louder, and then this bald head with an eyemask popped up two seats in front and said "Do you mind?? It is ze middle of ze night!" We were like, it's nearly lunchtime, you silly cunt.
 
?

...

Beast of Burden
martin said:
The same people who pull the window flap down even though it's a lovely, sunny afternoon with a fantastic view of the Bosphorus.
Click to expand...

This is particularly infuriating. These sort of people should be banned from taking window seats.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top