What makes you laugh?

[baboon2004]

That's what I wanna know - can be jokes, stand-ups, TV series, books, occurrences, websites, whatever.

My current top five:

(1) Peter Cook scripts - "I'm a, err, quality controller, in a leading biscuit factory. It is my job to test biscuits for comestibility, and I do this by biting into them, tasting them for flavour and texture. And if the biscuit is satisfactory, I allow another four million to go by."

(2) Charlie Brooker's Guardian columns

(3) Demetri Martin

(4) My friend's joke: After their remix for Eric B & Rakim, Coldcut turn up at Rakim's house to pay the royalties with a lorryload of gooseberry-flavoured yoghurt-based dessert. Rakim: "What the fuck is this?" Coldcut:"I thought you said you wanted to be paid in fool?"

(5) b3ta.com's Question of the Week.

 

[IdleRich]

Until further notice BA has halted all flights.

BA announced: "I aint getting on no god damn plane you crazy fool!"

Made me laugh this morning

 

[swears]

I have a pretty cruel sense of humour, I prefer to laugh at people rather than with them.

I saw this really lanky, nerdy, spotty fella at a bar a few weeks ago, with really elaborately gelled hair, futuristic looking sunglasses (at night) some ridiculous t-shirt with all manner of zips patches and paint splashes plastered all over it, fake ripped, worn jeans and stupid pointy shoes. He kept looking around nervously to see if anyone was looking at him, looking for acceptance I guess. I couldn't even look at him, just his mannerisms and body language, trying to appear relaxed when he was so obviously uptight, I just felt like cracking up. I had to stifle the giggles.

 

[baboon2004]

I have a pretty cruel sense of humour, I prefer to laugh at people rather than with them.

I saw this really lanky, nerdy, spotty fella at a bar a few weeks ago, with really elaborately gelled hair, futuristic looking sunglasses (at night) some ridiculous t-shirt with all manner of zips patches and paint splashes plastered all over it, fake ripped, worn jeans and stupid pointy shoes. He kept looking around nervously to see if anyone was looking at him, looking for acceptance I guess. I couldn't even look at him, just his mannerisms and body language, trying to appear relaxed when he was so obviously uptight, I just felt like cracking up. I had to stifle the giggles.

Yeah, I'm the same, but I only like laughing at people who deserve it.

Remember seeing this guy with an 'Anarchy' T-shirt behind the local bar recently. I was like, "Dude, if we really do reach a state of anarchy, the one thing you can know for certain is that no-one will be wearing fitted slogan T-shirts from fucking Urban cunting Outfitters. You complete galah."

xxpost - any Mr T reference is automatically amusing.

 

[swears]

You complete galah.

Flaming galah! Now that's funny.

 

[john eden]

Tony Hancock
Spongebob Squarepants
Crucial Youth
Sparks last weekend
trying to explain (and consequently, justifty) the hollow earth theory to some mates last weekend
a mate explaining last weekend how he ended up singing in a death metal band at a Belgian heavy metal trade show
Chris Morris
Beyond The Implode
Hackney Council (otherwise you cry)
Buick6
Napalm Death
massive b-lines
breakcore
Yellowman
my daughter

oh, and industrial fans taking it all too seriously

 

[mistersloane]

Pushing nuns under buses

 

[baboon2004]

Flaming galah! Now that's funny.

Yeh, heard someone being called a "complete Galah" recently, and it tickled me immensely. Nice variation on the original. Now I want to hear someone scream "You're an overwhelming Galah, mate!"

When I heard a kid genuinely use the word 'Wasteman' as an insult in the street, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

 

[baboon2004]

Pushing nuns under buses

Do you slap 'em about a bit and urinate on them first?

 

[baboon2004]

a mate explaining last weekend how he ended up singing in a death metal band at a Belgian heavy metal

That sounds amazing - pray tell the details...

 

[IdleRich]

"I saw this really lanky, nerdy, spotty fella at a bar a few weeks ago, with really elaborately gelled hair, futuristic looking sunglasses (at night) some ridiculous t-shirt with all manner of zips patches and paint splashes plastered all over it, fake ripped, worn jeans and stupid pointy shoes."

That was me.

 

[john eden]

That sounds amazing - pray tell the details...

it was a very long story and I don't think i can do it justice, but it also involved swingers, real ale and trainspotting. In fact the bloke concerned couldn't quite figure out all the connections himself, which made it doubly funny.

 

[baboon2004]

it was a very long story and I don't think i can do it justice, but it also involved swingers, real ale and trainspotting. In fact the bloke concerned couldn't quite figure out all the connections himself, which made it doubly funny.

Shit, now you've gone and made it even more intriguing. Damn you!

 

[john eden]

Shit, now you've gone and made it even more intriguing. Damn you!

you had to be there, really

 

[mistersloane]

Do you slap 'em about a bit and urinate on them first?

No! That would be cruel.

 

[zhao]

The Laughing Yogi

 

[mms]

me and my mate paul last night pissed up mixing bad records into good records last night for comedy value

skream into imagine by john lennon, skream into doctor hook, in love with a beautiful woman (the most paranoid song ever) coki into pass the dutchie, chain reaction, diana ross, jungle mix, hilarious.

 

[martin]

Roger Moore
John Kennedy Toole - "A Confederacy of Dunces"
Rabelais - "Gargantua and Pantagruel"
JP Donleavy
"Dear Deidre" ('Sun' agony aunt column)
Robert Nye - "Falstaff"
That notorious Elvis recording where he's pissing himself laughing
"Robotrix" (the film)
The motorbike chase scene in the Jackie Chan flick "Operation Condor"
Rubbish pop videos
Dave Allen (sometimes)
Skrewdriver
Jerry Sadowitz
Alcohol (sometimes)
New York Dolls - "Looking For A Kiss"
The opening sequence to "Hawaii Five-O"
Richard Allen - "Boot Boys"
Stewart Home
Action! Comic
Me and my brother / sister doing impersonations of our dad's anti-everything rants
70-year old German sex tourists in Bangkok (esp when trying to dance to J-Lo)
That over the top film where Idi Amin's a cannibal and has heads in the fridge
Anything to do with Jordi Valls / Vagina Dentata Organ
Situations that call for the utmost solemnity
Only Fools and Horses

 

[zhao]

this is some of the funniest shit ever. often better than the Onion.

lowculture.com

 

[swears]

this is some of the funniest shit ever. often better than the Onion.

lowculture.com

Hmm...dunno, seems to be trying too hard. It's a cliche, but Americans aren't so good at irony. (There are exceptions of course.) And The Onion hasn't been funny for about seven years anyway.