favourite headline ever

[Mr. Tea]

MOST POPULAR STORIES
From UK in the past week

* WEDNESDAY : 'Heart attack' halts Glitter trip
* TUESDAY : Gary Glitter flown out of Vietnam
* MONDAY : Paedophile 'librarian' is jailed
* SUNDAY : UK 'fails to prevent sex tourism'

Update!

* FRIDAY : Gary Glitter to sign sex register
* THURSDAY : Gary Glitter to sign sex register

"They don't need punishment: they need gunishment!"

 

[wonk_vitesse]

I think I win this thread with this, er, freak accident

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/hippo-swallows-dwarf-p1.php

I think the thread needs locking, this is clearly the winner. Poor old 'Od' as he was known.

 

[Mr. Tea]

That dwarf/hippo story is older than Jesus. It's still great though, I've had a link to one version of it saved as a bookmark for years.

 

[Client Eastwood]

'Cash-in-buttocks man in M25 ban'

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/essex/7588217.stm

 

[Mr. Tea]

This one looks like it could be from the Missing Words round on HIGNFY:

"Clark issues fresh Brown ........"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7597464.stm

 

[Mr. Tea]

"Pet bunny's ears prompt 999 call" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/tayside_and_central/7616451.stm

A woman dialled 999 because a rabbit she bought via a newspaper advert did not have floppy ears, Central Scotland Police have said.

The force is urging the public not to dial 999 unless they are faced with a genuine emergency.

The reminder comes after operators, who receive 34,000 999 calls a year, said the number was being dialled for "wholly inappropriate reasons".

One call was from a woman splashed by a car which drove through a puddle.

M-M-M-M-MULTIFAIL!!!

 

[Kate Mossad]

From the Scotland's infamously parochial Dundee Courier in reference to the sinking of the Titanic. "Dundee Man Dies in North Atlantic Shipping Disaster!"

 

[Mr. Tea]

From the Scotland's infamously parochial Dundee Courier in reference to the sinking of the Titanic. "Dundee Man Dies in North Atlantic Shipping Disaster!"

I've heard that one before, but always thought it was an urban myth. I'd love it to be real, though - don't suppose you've got an image of the paper itself?

 

[Kate Mossad]

Alas I fear you might be right, still believable though.

 

[crackerjack]

Alas I fear you might be right, still believable though.

Doesn't have to be true, so long as it's got truthiness.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truthiness

 

[Mr. Tea]

Doesn't have to be true, so long as it's got truthiness.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truthiness

...................

Paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now there's no real evidence for that, but it's scientific fact.

 

[Mr. Tea]

More hippo madness:

"Hippo sinks scout leaders' canoe"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/7783331.stm

(Sadly it didn't actually happen in Cornwall, as the URL might lead you to believe.)

 

[staypuft]

"Brett Favre Beats Lizard People"

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/12/brett-favre-beats-lizard-people.html

 

[Mr. Tea]

'Penis fire' suspect is charged.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7812875.stm

Pretty harsh story, but it's got a good headline. Well it involves the word 'penis', anyway, which is good enough for me.

 

[Tentative Andy]

"I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn't mean this to happen," Ms Boord quoted Mrs Narayan as saying.

 

[Mr. Tea]

BUMP!

Nigeria bikers' vegetable helmets

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7813418.stm

 

[jambo]

I wonder if they got the idea from Mick 'Pumpkinhead' Hucknall.

 

[matt b]

I wonder if they got the idea from Mick 'Pumpkinhead' Hucknall.

you're worse than a RACIST!!!!!!!

 

[Client Eastwood]

'Force denies £100,000 turban cost'

I thought that's a bit steep.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/7456528.stm

 

[hucks]

Jilted hubby wants stake in kidney

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090109/twl-jilted-hubby-wants-stake-in-kidney-41f21e0.html