bloody miserable

zhao

there are no accidents
this wouldnt really help with this though:

if i try talking to people when really, really high sometimes i feel fake... like a hollow feeling like i'm just going through the motions. and to combat this feeling i start trying to make a point about something and if people don't get it i get frustrated.

and next to impossible for me to feign interest if a girl is the talkative about absolutely nothing type. and if i try i feel like a cheap phony slime ball and want to take a shower immediately - no good for the self image. but it should be possible to switch the conversation to something stupid but fun, like making fun of people or drinking habits... and if it's not, i try to make a getaway at earliest opp.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
ive been doing a local radio show recently with some friends, it is definitely fun! i'm in a fairly similar position to swears mentally, although perhaps not so much so, i dunno how much the radio show has helped this (not at all i suspect). it is fun, though.

How do you get into doing this kind of stuff? Another one of those things that is completely opaque to me!
 

Gavin

booty bass intellectual
I will attest to the therapeutic value of community radio! In fact, I could use a show to fight off some creeping ennui at the moment.

Baboon, the first place I check for are university transmitters in the area. Most of them will take DJs who aren't students since many of these stations were originally built for community purposes, even though they tend to be student-run. Or google "community radio" and your locale and you can find stuff. My problem is finding something close to me that isn't all-Spanish programming!
 

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
Research then phone number and letter, write a letter/email first, then follow up with a call a week later if you don't hear from them. Give a CV if you got one and find out what the station does before you send the letter.

For stations in London here is good but there's loads more as well :

http://www.radioinlondon.com/directory/index.htm
http://www.londonradiostations.co.uk/

and for station near LIVERPOOL there's

http://www.merseyworld.com/media/radio/
http://www.radio-now.co.uk/nw.htm

Everyone always needs stuff doing for free. I need someone who enjoys housework.


I wasn't really talking about doing a show - if you've got low confidence then it's hard to put plans and ideas into action - but hanging around people who are doing things, on whatever level, can really boost your self-esteem and lead yo to see that it's a small step to opening a window and only another step to just walking right through it. I think radio's a good starting point because of the amount of people doing their own things within a station, plus from my experience there's always admin stuff or even just being around that needs to be done, not necessarily stuff on a 'creative' or engineering level, which often takes time and confidence to put together.
 
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swears

preppy-kei
You know what's made me appreciate life more than ever?

You see these guys in town who are 70 or 80 years old. They probably have nothing better to do than go and buy pipe tobacco... and they are fucking styling. Nice blazer, slacks, tie: all neatly ironed, polised shoes, the last little bit of white hair on their head brillcreamed to perfection. totally put most men half their age to shame clothes-wise. They still get up in the morning and face the world, and they don't have to. They could sit in their own piss all day and have a nurse spoon feed them apple sauce. I've pissed and moaned on this forum when I've had a steady job, good health (boo fucking hoo I'm not 6"2 and ripped) a fantastic girlfriend and a loving family and friends. FUCK YOU "swears", get a grip. Life is good. Most people around the world would literally kill to have the opportunities I've had.

Fuck "depression". i'm gonna slap myself the next time I feel sorry for myself.
 

swears

preppy-kei
It's like...if I was swanning around being confident, meeting new people, being enthusiastic about things, happy in work, being all lovey dovey with someone, trying to be "creative" and generally being upbeat, then that would just all be bullshit. It's not me, it seems impossible, I sort of wish it wasn't...I dunno.

You're a twat. Seriously. Fuck off.
 

zhao

there are no accidents
You know what's made me appreciate life more than ever?

You see these guys in town who are 70 or 80 years old. They probably have nothing better to do than go and buy pipe tobacco... and they are fucking styling. Nice blazer, slacks, tie: all neatly ironed, polised shoes, the last little bit of white hair on their head brillcreamed to perfection. totally put most men half their age to shame clothes-wise. They still get up in the morning and face the world, and they don't have to. They could sit in their own piss all day and have a nurse spoon feed them apple sauce. I've pissed and moaned on this forum when I've had a steady job, good health (boo fucking hoo I'm not 6"2 and ripped) a fantastic girlfriend and a loving family and friends. FUCK YOU "swears", get a grip. Life is good. Most people around the world would literally kill to have the opportunities I've had.

Fuck "depression". i'm gonna slap myself the next time I feel sorry for myself.
clapping-gif.gif

bravo! bravo!


by the way, did you see the film Precious, swears? may not be everyone's cup of tea, but i thought it was very powerful...
 
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swears

preppy-kei
I've still got a long way to go, I guess. I have to change loads of things in my life... I've been thinking that my depression in a lot of ways is just laziness. It's always been easier to mope around than actually do something about what makes you unhappy.
 

nomadthethird

more issues than Time mag
I've still got a long way to go, I guess. I have to change loads of things in my life... I've been thinking that my depression in a lot of ways is just laziness. It's always been easier to mope around than actually do something about what makes you unhappy.

Agreed. Being a victim also gets pretty cosy after a while. It can become a catch-all excuse you make for yourself.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
Agreed. Being a victim also gets pretty cosy after a while. It can become a catch-all excuse you make for yourself.

This is true. Can waste a lot of time this way. Personally, I find the problem is not so much that I'm not willing to do things to make me feel better, but rather that my confidence gets knocked when I'm feeling down, and so I get locked into a cycle of feeling worse and doing less.
 

PeteUM

It's all grist
I've still got a long way to go, I guess. I have to change loads of things in my life... I've been thinking that my depression in a lot of ways is just laziness. It's always been easier to mope around than actually do something about what makes you unhappy.

But then there's no such thing as laziness, only trauma, as my trainee psychotherapist girlfriend has read somewhere. It's a wicked excuse for all sorts of things.

I think you have a point though. I think with a bit of effort I could be fairly happy and fulfilled. If only I wasn't such a fearful, lazy, negative, weak cunt. :D
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I'd just like to say a very belated "nice one!" to swears. Should have said it a month ago - glad someone posted in this thread again, as it reminded me. That's great stuff, I'm really glad to hear it. :)
 
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