How to be an Underground Smash!

matt b

Indexing all opinion
john eden said:
Rachel - do we get huge leather chairs and a massive boardroom table and all that?


yeah, yeah- and bright lights to shine in their eyes. could we jump on their backs to put them off?
 

matt ob

Member
martin said:
I think the Committee's a good idea. It would kickstart a revolutionary new movement of completely inept outsider 'musicians' to piss everyone off with records made to be deliberately amateur-ish and devoid of any redeeming features, as a defiant two fingers to its decisions

So Grime would still be OK then? ;)
 

john eden

male pale and stale
matt b said:
yeah, yeah- and bright lights to shine in their eyes. could we jump on their backs to put them off?

I reckon, maybe (if Rachel is up for it - get back to me quick, Rachel, we need to pin this down, ok?) we could have a row of uniformed thugs for the jumping.

Martin? Marc?
 

matt b

Indexing all opinion
Rachel Verinder said:
The only musicians on whose backs I would be interested in jumping are Girls Aloud.


we must be consistent!
have designated thug types- you know, big fellas. uniformed, like john said.
let the musos know that 'the committee' do not act rationally and that anything can happen (we've already had american psycho rats, sex-changing etc).


would queen have got in?
how about steven 'tintin' duffy?
 

john eden

male pale and stale
I think Rachel's letting the power get to his head, innit. Classic mistake with these arriviste gangsters...
 

martin

----
john eden said:
I reckon, maybe (if Rachel is up for it - get back to me quick, Rachel, we need to pin this down, ok?) we could have a row of uniformed thugs for the jumping.

Martin? Marc?

Certainly not! I refuse to do your dirty work. I threw a plastic pint glass at the Bluetones in 1995 when they played the New Cross Venue (in third slot, supporting Sidi Bou Said*) (yes, I know, they were that low down the evolutionary chain). I've done my bit against whingey white bread guitar bands, don't dare call me in for additional service

*I didn't go there to see Sidi Bou Said
 

matt b

Indexing all opinion
Rachel Verinder said:
I'm not into all that macho guard bloke nonsense. My sun doesn't rise in the West.

but you like forcefeeding and rats up arses? mmmmmmmmmmmm.
 

bassnation

the abyss
Rachel Verinder said:
The only musicians on whose backs I would be interested in jumping are Girls Aloud.

i was going to make a crap joke about jumping their bones, but thought better of it last minute.
 

xero

was minusone
Rachel Verinder said:
The problem is that most musicians overestimate their salt.

A steering committee must be formed and every potential musician should be made to stand afore it and explain why they should be allowed to make music before they are permitted access to instruments or equipment.

This idea is not new. It was originally advocated by a prominent poster to this board some years ago.

perhaps this is a good idea - but what about everyone that goes into other careers or vocations without proving first that they have any talent or aptitude for what they are doing? Are we sure, for example, that the people who are paid by the state to be our doctors are the best people for the job? No they just happened to be in the right position to make that career choice & got through the training. Should critics be forced to stand before the same committee and explain why they have the right to criticise music or prove that they are capable of writing something enlightening? At least with musicians & critics we can choose to ignore them. Not so easy with doctors that shouldn't have gone into the profession. As for landscape gardeners, I'm sure there's as much of a surplus there as there is of musicians.
 

blissblogger

Well-known member
music by committee

i don't know if he posts here, but Stubbs used to go on about excess of access and the fallacy of music as a sort of youth club activity or local opportunity scheme --

i did once fantasise about the Politburo of Pop marching jangly indie guitar peasants into factories where they'd be forced to make Young gods/front 242 style industrial-futurist music as part of a Five Year Plan to modernize British music. Stalin's a tasteless joke obviously but it was inspired by the Darling Buds so perhaps forgiveable

i don't think Rachel really has the grime kids in her sights. As much as getting rid of the crap and the outright mediocre i suspect she's talking also about the crisis of "well made" , "intelligent" music too -- the superfluity of bands (and lone electronic producers, and... ) who have mastered their instruments (or gear), do make nicely produced, cleverly organized, interestingly influenced records. there's fucking thousand and thousands of them, they're all semi-deserving, as someone who's job it is to sift through the stuff it does me fucking head in, because so few of them are easy to dismiss -- there's a record and a really evident amount of love and care and a decent amount of talent has gone into it, and you feel bad making a decision on its merit based on one or two plays, but the end of the day who has room in their life for all this stuff? you want to give your precious time to the landmark, genius, visionary, exceptional stuff.

that's why what rachel's talking about, as a fantasy, is quite appealing -- there should be a bit more self-restraint, people should ask themselves searching questions before embarking on creation. or at least, it's cool if you just want to make music, but actually putting it out as product is a demand on the world.

but the same applies to novelists, writers, all forms of artistic activity. there's too much of it.
 

ripley

Well-known member
I just love the idea that the ability to clearly articulate what you want and how plan to go about it has any relationship to musical talent. What a darling concept!
 

MBM

Well-known member
Is Your Record Really Necessary?

Don't You Know There's A (Pop) War On?


Or alternatively...

You kids have it so easy nowadays, you don't know you're born! When I were your age, I were down the studio working 18 hours a day on me first EP. I were lucky if I saw daylight.

Yes, we need committees. And A Five Year Music. And enforced limb amputation for those who dare to produce less than visionary, exceptional music.

It's the only language these sampler-defiling scum understand...
 

fldsfslmn

excremental futurism
Rachel Verinder said:
Examine yourself thoroughly and ask yourself what, honestly, you have to offer the world of music in terms of difference and distinction. What new and original ideas and thoughts do you have to bring to music? What are you doing that 10,000 other musicians aren't doing already, and better?

If someone was standing up in front of my committee, I'd be mainly interested in hearing about how they plan to use the past as a weapon against the present. That would never get old.

As for Originality, I think it's something I'd leave to those who do what "10,000 other musicians" are doing already, only substantially worse. Incompetence, I think, is the only way out of the Möbius Strip of popular music.
 

Woebot

Well-known member
hint said:
my advice:

burn loads of CDrs

send them to distributors and chase them up for a reaction - without a distro you won't be able to get your music into shops (well, it's possible, but outside of a select few scenes you're gonna struggle) and you'll have spent £hundreds on a big pile of vinyl in your bedroom.

if you're lucky, you could well end up with a p+d deal where the distro pays all manufacturing costs for you.

if no-one offers you distribution

stick everything up on the net for free and get on with your life

if someone offers you distribution

follow woebot's advice! :D

lol!

at the kind of level thats needed to get the requisite media attention to secure a proper distribution deal you can simply distribute them yourself. thats what the black dog did, thats what position normal did, thats what maximo park did.......
 

john eden

male pale and stale
It occurs to me that this "committee" business is symptomatic of people who are music critics or otherwise in the biz and get lots of CDs for free, which they are obliged to listen to.

as someone who's job it is to sift through the stuff it does me fucking head in

Probably still better than writing tedious reports and having people routinely ring you up and shout at you down the phone, though, which is a large part of my job. ;)

You just want other people... TO DO YOUR JOBS FOR YOU! :p
 
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