To sow division? (teasing)
Miami Vice - crap, bilge, fuck off with your joke jackets, if this was real life they’d have been knee deep in flake, booze, illegal funding streams, beds of money, before a rapid decline with heroin down the Keys
Orson Welles - big fella, biiiiig fella, didn’t anyone dare mention this to OW intervention style? “Mr Welles, the hotel believes a 5th breakfast may be excessive”. Films? No idea
Elizabeth Taylor - a lovely wee ride, age was cruel, the perfect brunette (until C Munro showed up). Seen her in Cleopatra? Goddess right there fap fap fap
Celtic FC - all you London cunts look out when we join the PL with, chokes on food a bit, certain Huns across town. Far more potency than Watford. Exclusionary, power mad, elitist, included the Welsh but not the only European Cup winner north of Manchester
Forest FC - only acceptable English equivalent, B Clough, Shilton, Robertson, Gemmill, all the way through to essentially gifting Roy Keane everything he’d need as a PL winner. Watching them? Rubbish. You have to tramp all the way from fucking Mapperley, 2buses, a trek for a regional city. When I was younger there was far more risk to personal safety, which was nice
Witness - I don’t know how many times my pre-Boomer Mum’s watched this film, hundreds, possibly more. Add Gladiator, The Quiet Man, Doris Day in By the Light of the Silvery Moon/On Moonlight Bay. Every visit, at least one of these will be the price so it’s the least we can do
Ian Paisley - I think of him splitting a sheet of acid with Third, travelling through spacetime, only to come round the following morning having gone through anal jihad and left-communist wetware installations. Miss you, Pails
Bacon - minging, look at industrial pig farming, how is this possible? But in a wholemeal toast as a sarnie, with a dollop of ketchup? If it’s crisp and I’m not imposing because you’re doing the prep, go on then
Lamb - the King, a whole leg slow roasted, heavy spicing, just add some greens, failing that Barnsley style chops fat rendered and roasted, cumin/coriander/paprika/lime juice/s&p
What was the question again? Clock off at 7pm