favourite headline ever

[Mr. Tea]

brb, immediately launching my new drone-doom/power electronics project, BIONIC LORD.

 

[Mr. Tea]

I love it that you're just expected to know who 'Poots' is. Sounds like a cutesy pet name.

Luke Poots fined for using phone while driving tractor

Luke Poots has received a driving ban after being convicted of driving while using a phone.

www.bbc.com

 

[Mr. Tea]

 

[Mr. Tea]

This is brilliant.

A west London nightclub could lose its licence after a gun battle erupted at the exact moment a health and safety officer was visiting to investigate crime and disorder claims.

Kensington: Ricco Lounge could be closed after large gun fight

Gunshots rang out as a health and safety officer was visiting the club to investigate safety fears.

www.bbc.com

I'd actually really like to read that report.

Overall Health and Safety Rating: POOR/REQUIRES IMPROVEMENT

Main findings:

• Poorly indicated step leading to outdoor smoking area could represent a trip hazard.
• Fire exit partially blocked by a stack of drinks crates.
• I almost died in a shoot-out between two rival gangs of coke dealers.
• Electrical safety certification for hand-dryer in women's toilets expired three years ago.

 

[william_kent]

Woman pays £175 to have hamster stuffed as a poledancing stripper



"I don't even know where the stripping hamster thing came from but I thought, what is more iconic than a hamster on a stripper pole hustling for money?"

 

[Mr. Tea]

Woman pays £175 to have hamster stuffed as a poledancing stripper

View attachment 21012

"I don't even know where the stripping hamster thing came from but I thought, what is more iconic than a hamster on a stripper pole hustling for money?"

Good question, I mean it sure as hell beats the Statue of Liberty, Christ the Redeemer and those gigantic Buddhas in Asia.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Decent one here. Paging @Corpsey, @subvert47

 

[Mr. Tea]

 

[Mr. Tea]

 

[william_kent]

Nude school Batman 'probably a teacher'

A fact-finding probe will be launched following complaints that a man, believed to be a teacher, was spotted wearing only a Batman mask while posing nude at a school in Uthai Thani, according to the Education Ministry.

The Office of the Basic Education Commission (Obec) was taking action, said Tee Pawangkanant, deputy secretary-general of the commission, after pictures and video clips of the man were circulated on social media.

Complaints by parents were presented to Mr Tee by social media activist Guntouch Pongpaiboonwet, who also goes by the alias Gun Jom Palang, on Monday.

Mr Guntouch said the man posed for photos in various settings, including inside classrooms.

He said the incident was disturbing and called on the school director to take swift action to straighten out the issue.

 

[Mr. Tea]

MR TEE! 😎

 

[william_kent]

don't get too puffed up, MR TEE is the authority figure that people snitch to in that story

do you really want to be that guy?

 

[Mr. Tea]

don't get too puffed up, MR TEE is the snitch in that story

And a spoilsport. Hmm, good point.

DOWN WITH TEE.

 

[william_kent]

on a sour note, I read an account by a friend of a "masseuse" and apparently in California "GENE" was known as "WHACKMAN" amongst the "totally legitimate massage community'

 

[Mr. Tea]

on a sour note, I read an account by a friend of a "masseuse" and apparently in California "GENE" was known as "WHACKMAN" amongst the "totally legitimate massage community'

Do you suppose his Gene-tic material frequently had to be mopped up before the next punter?

 

[william_kent]

Do you suppose his Gene-tic material frequently had to be mopped up before the next punter?

I will NOT speak ILL of the dead

LOL

perhaps we need to have a CONVERSATION "around" this?

lol

 

[Mr. Tea]

I will NOT speak ILL of the dead

LOL

perhaps we need to have a CONVERSATION "around" this?

lol

You started it, you drunk knob!

 

[william_kent]

You started it, you drunk knob!

lol

report to HR Monday morning man

 

[version]

Accused Cannibal and Sexual Predator Armie Hammer Says He Tried Hooking Up with a Man Because "Women Are the Worst"

 

[IdleRich]