Unfortunate names

Sick Boy

All about pride and egos
The things some parents name their children, it's almost like they want to cripple their formative years. Some are just plain unfortunate.

Brock Kiely ('brocolli') - not so shaming, just hilarious that his parents didn't notice it.
Nicole Mack - an atypically tall and burly girl at my school - in Canada, extremely large lorries are called "Mack Trucks"
Leonard Poo - found him in the phonebook, used to prank call him all the time til he took his name out
Robert Gotobed (someone from my mum's childhood, also I discovered, shares the name with someone in the band Wire)
Richard Holder - that's right folks, Dick Holder
There was a kid on my brothers hockey team whose last name was Bonar, which is a shame because that is what appears blown up in capital letters on the back of his jersey. Even worse, he was the goalie, so people stare at his back the whole time while he lets in goals.

What might take the cake though: I was watching a movie the other day and in the credits I saw someone with the surname Cumstien.

I also cringe when I see women with the name Trollope. You know they pronounce it "Troh-lope" to everyone though.

I'm sure you have better ones.
 

Sick Boy

All about pride and egos
Impossibly cool names are allowed too.

For instance, Joel Noone ("No one") and Calvin Whynot (these are real people).

I really wish my name was Calvin Whynot?
 

empty mirror

remember the jackalope
i used to work in a movie theater and i swear Baylis Glascock was a gaffer for every single picture

there is a recent story here on the east coast USA about a father who named his son Adolf Hitler _______; his daughters were named So-and-so Aryan Nation _______ and whatever whatever some nazi name _________.

there was this (hot) girl in my school name Kathleen Anita Blow. you know, like, kathy, i need a blow.
:/
 

john eden

male pale and stale
Working at the, shall we say, customer focused end of things I've had a few of these and will try to remember some more.

The best one ever though is a lady ringing up to let us know she wanted her details changed because she'd got married.

"I'd now like to be Mrs [forename] Smith"

"Ok, that's great, [forename], congratulations! May I ask what your surname was previously?"

"Thundercock"


It wasn't me who took the call and the guy that did is THE DON for his internal fortitude because he retained his professional composure at that point.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Staff member
Working at the, shall we say, customer focused end of things I've had a few of these and will try to remember some more.

The best one ever though is a lady ringing up to let us know she wanted her details changed because she'd got married.

"I'd now like to be Mrs [forename] Smith"

"Ok, that's great, [forename], congratulations! May I ask what your surname was previously?"

"Thundercock"


It wasn't me who took the call and the guy that did is THE DON for his internal fortitude because he retained his professional composure at that point.
Fucking hell, I'm quite tempted to change my surname TO 'Thundercock'.
 

zhao

there are no accidents
there was a vietnamese kid named Phuk Nyo or something like that. and the correct pronunciation was : Fuck No.
 

STN

sou'wester
It is a credit to this board that no one has claimed to have been like, actually, at school with this kid called Wayne King, right?
 

BareBones

wheezy
these aren't rudey puns but a friend of mine went to school with someone called Autumn Forecast, and i also recently through work i had to speak with someone called James D Justice III, which is probably the most comic-book name i've ever heard.

nothing as good as randy bumgardner, though.
 

craner

Beast of Burden
I love stories about parents giving their kids inappropriate names. I collect them.

Like the New Zealand girl who got ward of court to change her name from Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

Or the twins named Benson and Hedges.

The child named after the location she was conceived: Number 16 Bus Shelter.

And let's not forget Sex Fruit, Midnight Chardony, and Yeah Detroit.

The Swedish parents who named their child Metallica.

Any more examples would be welcome. This sort of thing entertains me.
 

craner

Beast of Burden
My unusual name hasn't affected me at all; in fact, it has helped me make friends and improve my confidence, especially since leaving school.
Russell Sprout, London, UK
 

craner

Beast of Burden
I changed my name by deed poll to Jenna Dana Bananarama Rater. I'm now the Jenna Rater!
Jenna Dana Bananarama Rater, Cardiff, Wales
 
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