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What, a nonce-looking clown popping up and gyrating around screaming kids? o_O

Blimey, today's been streaked with death. Like Lee Perry, too many class moments to pick. Think I can best express my admiration by saying I actually banjaxed my copy of The Living Legends... by overplaying it. And that Silent Command destroys my thesis that all white reggae is crap. RIP.

McDonalds smells terrible, like a cow’s just shat its pants. Needs to be banned on public transport. KFC is full of morbidly obese schoolchildren on mobility scooters, and actually serves deep-fried pigeon and rat. Dixy Chicken is basically the Islamic KFC. Chicken Cottage sounds like some...

It’s a big jukebox in some shady, smoky pub in my skull, with the Great God Pan playing a fruit machine nearby, saying “Go on, put on the Mariah Carey Xmas song.” No, I don’t want to listen to that – I’m putting on Joy Division. “Go on.” No! It’s my £1 – and then I’ve got Mariah Carey in my head...

Just voted for Bowie as I'd rather go for a flower-eating alien nazi dictator than a "Captain Beefheart imitator with zits" ((c) Mark E Smith) I don't know much by Tom Waits but just get the impression he's on some Lou Reed/Bukowski trip. The barflies he idolises are probably putting Bowie on...

Is he? Oh OK. I remember him doing "Inna Liverpool" so thought he was from there.

I used to work with someone who was very possibly a compulsive liar – he told everyone he’d joined the army at 18 and been deployed in Derry. The war stories started off mild but became more extreme with each telling…legs being blown off by bombs in booby-trapped Coke cans, IRA men dressed as...

StreetDrone's autonomous delivery vehicles will bring reduced costs to retailers and consumers StreetDrone has been developing its proprietary technology since 2017, with customers across Europe, Asia and Australasia wilko’s investment will accelerate the development and deployment of...

I credit Banks Caribbean Lager, Stella, whiskey sours, vodka and orange, rum and coke, Black Russians and Rainbow Healing Temple (I'm not making this up) with helping to fend off the Wu Flu. Probably done more good for me than the Astra Zeneca shots. The one gutting thing about last year was I...

Cool list but a few omissions: Think Wattie summed up the whole situation: "Ayatollah...let the hostages go/ayatollah...ya make me sick!" If Carter had sent a load of skinheads down there, the Revolutionary Islamic Guards would have shit themselves. Bit boring, but on point...

Tubby = earth Perry = fire Scientist = air Bovell = water

@woops 'cos I'm finding it too difficult to quote-pick bits out of your post... Still love the King & Queen, assuming it's survived the past 18 months. Nice beer, cool staff, serves Monster Munch and they were showing horror/exploitation movies upstairs on Saturday nights before the pandemic...

You used to get Elvis fans in the UK in the early ‘80s, mostly older working-class couples who’d have little shrines in their flats…like these cherubic plaster busts of Elvis on the mantelpiece, with his mouth in an ‘O’…or they’d have the lyrics to Heartbreak Hotel written in neat cursive on the...

Oh yeah, goes without saying: if someone drive-by eggs ME, they should be air-dropped into Afghanistan, with a micro-bomb implanted in their neck, on a suicide mission to rescue the service dogs. Or be publicly flogged, Singapore-style.

Do you think they're purely into the physics/electrics angle? Or do they imagine the little man in the car is having marital problems too, and go full speed on the corners because life's meaningless anyway?

Fired for chucking an egg at someone at 35mph? Health and safety gone mad.

Wicked record...I Roy and Scratch launch their own passenger rocket service from London Town to Venus and Mars. Maybe should've deployed two separate rockets? Dread the thought of that round trip. Then again, if Lee Perry was toasting over the intercom and cutting new tunes, would have been more...

I’m not trying to push ‘socialism via Brexit’, I couldn’t give a toss about Brexit. Just saying, you have to focus on whatever opportunities exist in the present, not a bunch of ‘what if’s. We’ve had years of employers holding all the cards: zero-hour contracts, stressful workloads, personnel...

I was once on the same flight as them from Newcastle, around mid-2000s. They both looked grumpy as fuck and were blanking each other. The person I was with said hi to Chas and he just mumbled a reply and walked off. When we got to London, Dave shot off to baggage reclaim without even saying bye...