. The bar is laying there on the floor, looking at you as if to say, “Press me over your head. It’s the obvious thing to do. Can you, boy? Are you strong enough??” And you say, “But I’d rather press you after I lay down on the bench over there. That’s just as cool, right? And it makes my pecs bigger too!” And the bar says, “Well, if you have to, put me in the rack and THEN press me overhead from there. That’s still a man’s press.” But you say, “Aw c’mon, bar. Just load up in the bench and let me press you that way. I can do more weight on the bench, and I can work my chest.” And the bar says, “Okay, pussy.”
Because this is really the deal: the bench press lets you handle heavier weights, and there’s a place for that. The bench is a legit lift. And “chesticles” are handy at the beach, I get that. But if the real reason you don’t want to press is the fact that you don’t want to confront a hole – probably a gaping hole – in your strength, then the bar is right: you’re a pussy.