Jean-Claude Van Damme

version

Well-known member
The instrumental pieces are much better than those two. Someone stuck a few of them together here,

 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
he just beats him at some arcade game
not just any arcade game - a fighting game, in a nice little meta-nod

and of course they're going to become buddies - their meeting is way more a meet-cute than JCVD meeting his super bland "love interest"

they're also the two white Americans (JCVD being "American") and beard guy is basically the audience surrogate

like "fuck all fancy this Asian shit, here's a true blue American drinking beers and punching dudes"

then Chong Li almost kills him so you know that now the final showdown with JCVD is personal
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
I do enjoy that Trump fast forwards thru all the plot to get to the fighting

I mean, for once he's not really wrong. besides the absurd/cool training flashbacks, you don't really need any of the plot.

and by 80s fight choreography standards, the fighting is pretty damned good
 

version

Well-known member
There's that weird bit where the reporter wakes up in bed and Van Damme's already up and getting dressed, but he's just stood there posing with his arse out then quickly pulls his pants up when the camera's on him.

😂

 

IdleRich

IdleRich
yeah but that's different, it's a conscious choice to play against type
and you couldn't get more self-consciously queer in 1982 than Rainer Werner Fassbinder adapting a Jean Genet novel
also, it's Europe, which never attained the ultra-masculine/homoerotic heights of American action
Yeah it's obviously a conscious choice but for me it was a surprising one. I that - at least stereotypically - your red-blooded Italian tough guy is just as homophobic as the as the US version. It's not a competition or anything though.
 

version

Well-known member
it's interesting cos 70s action stars - Eastwood, Bronson, Burt Reynolds, etc - were super careful about that

projecting ultra-masculinity in a way that can't be coded as queer

then you get to the 80s and it's just an explosion of shirtless dudes with gleaming pecs slathered in baby oil

which JCVD I think avoids by, in fact, having an inherent sexual ambiguity tho his litheness of person and movement

so it never looks like he's trying super hard to be straight, he's just being himself

vs the muscle gays fisting each other vibe of something like, say, Commando
In Monaco Forever, one of his earliest roles, he's just listed as "Gay Karate Man".
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
speaking of cool JCVD fighting, here's some of the best stuff in Cyborg

fighting some paramilitary mask dudes in a cool looking ruined office building, prominently featuring switchblade boot

fighting the main gang of bad dudes in abandoned factory

just gonna say it, this movie had dope production design and costuming, in a ridiculous post-apocalyptic vein

also I enjoy how everything is shot in an abandoned factory, so you know they were doing it for cheap

the way 80s knockoffs of Road Warrior spend all their time in abandoned quarries
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
It's not a competition or anything though
I'm not taking about Americans or Europeans, just their respective action movie traditions

it is a surprising choice, and courageous, especially in that it specifically plays against his image of Franco Nero, tough guy

the kind of choice Eastwood/Reynolds etc never came close to making
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
but he's just stood there posing with his arse out
just by actually being in bed with a woman that scene is already 100% less gay than every Arnold film besides maybe the first Conan

Arnold, Sly, etc would never have the courage to play "Gay Karate Man"
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
I'm about to watch that one. I was going to watch Black Eagle, but the links were dead, so Cyborg's next.
oh you're in for a treat. it's actually pretty good by the standards of post-apocalyptic 80s flicks.

like, totally ridiculous, but in more or less internally consistent way

and, topical - he's escorting the cyborg of the title to the remnants of the CDC to stop a plague (or something like that, it's vague)
 

version

Well-known member
Have you seen the one where he's disguised as a Hasidic Jew and and getting chased around Jerusalem? I caught some of it on TV a while back.

vandamme-jlem.jpg
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I'm not taking about Americans or Europeans, just their respective action movie traditions

it is a surprising choice, and courageous, especially in that it specifically plays against his image of Franco Nero, tough guy

the kind of choice Eastwood/Reynolds etc never came close to making
You're right... I was so busy talking about how surprising it was that I didn't mention it being brave. But it is.
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
Have you seen the one where he's disguised as a Hasidic Jew and and getting chased around Jerusalem?
woah I have not but that is a crazy image

and now I looked it up and it sounds pretty batshit crazy but probably not in a good way

like an Assassin's Creed meets Dan Brown meets Indiana Jones rip-off kinda thing

the actual chase is a real letdown, Tony Jaa could do it 100x better in his sleep
 
Top