intriguing Snooker moments that will make your entire face wobble and convulse

[Murphy]

Think it was a black, a couple of greens and a jammy in-off. Superb cue-ball control throughout

 

[IdleRich]

Highest personal break was 28.

Snooker halls are alright for a wind down, ideally with people who can at least play pool. Reminds me of chipping in with mates for the light, doubles only. Wonky cues. Microwaved pasties and a half pint of coke. John Player Special lung monster cigs burning away everywhere, leaving a plane of smog under the glow of each table. Chipping in for a 16th of draw for after, then ringing your two possible contacts from the phone in the foyer. Go back to the table and miss every sitter. Get sledged. Get told off for noise, then thrown out and banned. Sorted.

Snooker is really hard. Anywhere I've ever played the tables are wonky and if it's 16ft long that's a fucking nightmare. I used to be pretty good at pool. When I was at uni my flatmate had a mini snooker table in his room - ten reds - he was good at the start of the year, amazing by the end. Think he got a hundred break (max on that table 107 I think) and if you missed he always won. Great practice for beating almost anyone else at pool though. Seven ball at least, nine ball is fun but I never played it enough.
I remember our other flatmate then was a very good tennis player (UK ranking I think although I never saw him play) and we had some good games at snooker. He used to try a lot of psychology, gamesmanship etc remember one time I was playing well and he kept praising my pots in the middle pocket... and then I started missing them. At the end he said "It's a good tactic that, overpraise what they're doing well and they'll think about it and then overthink it and then they will fuck up" - and a few days ago I realised I was still using that playing squash 23(!) years later.

 

[Murphy]

You can tell a lot about someone by their pool game.

The polyester attired snooker player era. Canadians everywhere. Hurricane's wrecked on the drink, sullen, scowling at Davis. Davis makes a shit break and it's like a man possessed. Up immediately, no hesitation, always 5 shots ahead of anything you're seeing. An audience member coughs and he swears at them openly. Knocks in a ton, offers Davis out under his breathe on the way back to his seat. Bushmills, no ice.

 

[IdleRich]

Problem is Davis still wins the match 17-2 or something.

 

[IdleRich]

Fair play to O'Sullivan he's a bit of both worlds - didn't he go to jail for selling cocaine or something? - and he got a 147 break n two minutes or whatever... but now he's a model professional (I assume with no real evidence at all).

 

[IdleRich]

My brother and his friends used to have a tape of John Virgo anecdotes that they bought in a service station, used to quote it all the time the annoying little cunts.

 

[IdleRich]

Fair play to O'Sullivan he's a bit of both worlds - didn't he go to jail for selling cocaine or something? - and he got a 147 break n two minutes or whatever... but now he's a model professional (I assume with no real evidence at all).

Might be mixing up several stories there.

 

[version]

 

[muser]

can a computer beat a human at snooker?

If they can get good at table-tennis then snooker would be unbeatable I reckon

 

[mixed_biscuits]

Just play lob shots so the ball hits its bonce: foul, foul, foul...

 

[IdleRich]

Can it handle side-spin serves though? Seems to struggle when he really hits with power.

 

[IdleRich]

"What? How's it getting back the spin?"

Guess that answers the question.

 

[luka]

 

[shiels]

You can tell a lot about someone by their pool game.

I love watching people try to suppress their smugness when they’re on a roll. Chalking the cue all this is normal I always do this. The concentration face. As a 15 year old I whitewashed (it probably wasnt a full whitewash my ego is misremembering for me) a man probably ten years my senior in a pub in Donegal in front of a dozen of his mates. People jeering and shouting but pindrop silence before every shot. Electric atmosphere, best moment of my life

 

[version]

I love watching people try to suppress their smugness when they’re on a roll. Chalking the cue all this is normal I always do this.

It's near-impossible not to do this. You can't walk round the table any other way after potting something. It won't let you.

 

[shiels]

Why can’t we show our pride unobstructed? Why can’t we just let it come out?

 

[version]

It's the sip of water on Mock the Week again.

 

[Murphy]

It’s the pub you’re in and the possibility of a row escalating. Lot of bad losers, but if you’re on a roll I know exactly what you both mean - if you’ve got it flaunt it. Seven balling someone in their own back yard surrounded by their crew can be a blessing and a curse.

 

[shiels]

Yeah there’s not wanting to gloat. You’re also quite embarrassed by how much you’re buzzing at the same time, how deliriously you love validation and winning, the certificate smile.

 

[shiels]

It’s a very satisfying thing to do. It’s impressive every time. The calculations. The posture. The clicks and snaps and sound of the ball rolling along wood. The waltz around the table. It’s impossible to do all of this and not be thinking fuck me im such a handsome genius.