Music for Old People

[DannyL]

Me and Danny are setting up our own sex coaching business. And we’re gonna go deep, it all starts with loving yourself first

This could be literally true as I am going to do psychotherapy-for-hire at some point. I need a way to maximise returns. Exploitation of unloved incels could be the way forwards, help me out Shiels.

 

[DannyL]

they need love. It’s the most obvious but the most hidden thing. I need acceptance, I am afraid of being alone. I need love. Say it lads!

The sad thing was most of the guys on that site had decided that they only could accept it from someone who looked like a Playboy model and had decided that they could get it if only they knew the right techniques.

 

[DannyL]

 

[luka]

What I find interesting is that therapy can shunt you onwards without you ever actually understanding anything or having any insight into your situation. Conversely lots of over therapised people can give you an exhaustive account of why they're stuck but remain stuck.

 

[luka]

Sometime the will to change, the intent and the act are enough in and of themselves. Stopping in your tracks, looking at yourself, being disgusted and humiliated and afraid.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Me and Danny are setting up our own sex coaching business. And we’re gonna go deep, it all starts with loving yourself first

'The sex coach' just sounds like a bus service that goes to and from popular dogging spots.

Edit: barty always buys a season pass, obvs.

 

[Mr. Tea]

The sad thing was most of the guys on that site had decided that they only could accept it from someone who looked like a Playboy model

 

[pattycakes_]

Elbows too pointy

 

[DannyL]

What I find interesting is that therapy can shunt you onwards without you ever actually understanding anything or having any insight into your situation. Conversely lots of over therapised people can give you an exhaustive account of why they're stuck but remain stuck.

I'm unsure about this - at least in my experience. Understanding seems to accompany change. I'm not saying it isn't true, mind. Absolutely agree that insight isn't enough. You need some way of making it manifest. This is the strength of CBT and the like I guess.

 

[thirdform]

Sounds like you have an extremely deep understanding of the incel psychology.

I mean it is the case with any psychological malody. once you can get to the root of the pathology and the cure (or what is peddled as the cure) it's all so quite easy to deconstruct. I'm not so sad as to go on incel forums, those places are quite irritating. if you want homosocial (but not sexual) male bonding football hooliganism is much better, and the rush is long lasting. Therapy itself requires the suspension of disbelief.

 

[luka]

I'm unsure about this - at least in my experience. Understanding seems to accompany change. I'm not saying it isn't true, mind. Absolutely agree that insight isn't enough. You need some way of making it manifest. This is the strength of CBT and the like I guess.

It's true in my experience and in the experience of people I know. Enough people to make it generally true if not true for everyone. Understanding is superfluous, and possibly harmful

 

[thirdform]

Can't both points be true? It seems very likely to me that there's a degree of self-indulgence in (some of) the incels internet induced networking.. At the same time, yes, you're right, there are other things at work preventing people finding partners.

I found psychotherapy a big help in getting me moved on when I was stuck here. Leading me to be of course to the handsome, confident sexual success story you see before yourselves now.

Both points can be true but the whole point of inceldom is to disavow sex to reavow it. People are generally egotistical, the incel realises he is nothing special, with no extrordinary libido that angloamerican culture demands, and yes, can probably date a fairly ordinary, boring, uneventful girl like himself. but then he's not going to be sexualised and endowed with the standout character personality trait relative to other men. Patriarchy is a strange beast in that regard.

 

[DannyL]

It's true in my experience and in the experience of people I know. Enough people to make it generally true if not true for everyone. Understanding is superfluous, and possibly harmful

Fair enough. I'll think on it, see if I can think of any examples. I probably can on reflection. You can definitely experience embodied change, that your mind takes a while to catch up with.

 

[WashYourHands]

What I find interesting is that therapy can shunt you onwards without you ever actually understanding anything or having any insight into your situation. Conversely lots of over therapised people can give you an exhaustive account of why they're stuck but remain stuck.

Poor therapy will, competent therapy won’t. It‘s like saying plaster of p doesn’t heal bones. It does.

 

[DannyL]

Understanding definitely is not the key. That was the origin of the whole Reichian approach. He was trying to make Freudian insights actually impactful.

 

[luka]

Poor therapy will, competent therapy won’t. It‘s like saying plaster of p doesn’t heal bones. It does.

Not sure I follow that

 

[thirdform]

valourising boredom must be a Danish thing. I don't think incel ideology is big in Denmark.

 

[luka]

Both points can be true but the whole point of inceldom is to disavow sex to reavow it. People are generally egotistical, the incel realises he is nothing special, with no extrordinary libido that angloamerican culture demands, and yes, can probably date a fairly ordinary, boring, uneventful girl like himself. but then he's not going to be sexualised and endowed with the standout character personality trait relative to other men. Patriarchy is a strange beast in that regard.

This is what I keep saying to Corpsey. Exactly this. Sex guys are few and far between. They're rare beasts. Most people don't care that much. It's ok not to care that much.

 

[WashYourHands]

Also how the fuck are people lucid at 6 am

Not sure I follow that

Yes you do. Therapy, whether it be CBT, DBT, commitment and acceptance therapy or EMDR, is evidence based. That means therapy’s a science. Just like the analogy about how to fix a broken bone is an evidence based science. It’s underpinned by decades of research.

I’ve worked with hundreds of addicts alongside professional NHS therapists and if you mean to say this is hocus pocus whimsy, it definitely 1000% isn’t. These people committed to effect wholesale change in their lives and most would be flabbergasted to learn that therapy gave them little to no insight. It gave them their lives back.

Wiggle it anyway you want, this is the evidence baseline. Of course it would be better to have everything on the NHS, but that’s another problem entirely. Equally, if your dealing with narcissistic personality disorders or psychosis, then therapy isn’t always appropriate - antipsychotic medication will be though.

 

[luka]

Still not following you. Maybe we are talking at cross purposes. Feels like some link between what you are saying and what I am saying has gone missing somewhere