The Great British Wank Bank

S

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
When I said British sexuality was body horror, Version found all these quotes of people online talking about Holly Willoughby and how they’d split her asshole open and sniff her sweaty ass crack and all that.

I’ve now discovered all these wicked twitters dedicated to wholesome, mumsy daytime TV presenters:







https://twitter.com/uktvmilflover

https://twitter.com/kates_boobs

https://twitter.com/ukcelebsinheels

https://twitter.com/Stockings420

It’s a lower middle class sexuality as opposed to outright working class (no Jordan or Jodie Marsh). Also very provincial, you never really encounter this in London I don’t think.

It’s very much Version’s world this stuff- I could imagine his brother runs one of these twitter accounts. Saturday morning mutual masturbation sessions on the sofa together scrubbing one out to Rachel Riley on an old Countdown rerun.

This is the soul of middle England; its beating heart. The psychology of a whole society revealed through its niche wanking habits.

But what is it telling us? Why mums? Why daytime TV?
 
S

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
The same energy and psychology as this, which Version and his brother always used to play together when they were young:

 
versh

versh

Well-known member
sadmanbarty said:
The same energy and psychology as this, which Version and his brother always used to play together when they were young:

Click to expand...

I was too old for this, but a couple of my brothers were massive fans of Dick and Dom. They used to watch Dick & Dom in da Bungalow every weekend.
 
line b

line b

Well-known member
country folk have less opportunity to live out the up tight, posh and put together sexual conquest fantasy. the mom angle is universal but the country-city relationship could be a geographic analogue to mommy-son here
 
line b

line b

Well-known member
Version himself goes completely googley eyed for brad pitt. this has been confirmed. obviously other sick complexes at play there though
 
Murphy

Murphy

cat malogen
There's a type of morning presenter here that's imbued/known as a bit of a sort

It couldn't be more British, jizz flying to buxom wenches, add Syd James laugh for sound effects
 
S

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
linebaugh said:
obviously other sick complexes at play there though
Click to expand...
I did think corpsey might know something about this thread too, but thought he’s too depraved. I’d imagine looking through his porn history is like opening up the gates of hell.

there’s a strange infantilism to this type of sexuality- obviously the preference for mums, but also the preference for former children’s tv hosts (holly willoughby, kat deely). It’s like if you have a 5 year old the sexuality of a fully grown man.

The only knowledge of the world is acquired through the tv.
 
Murphy

Murphy

cat malogen
"When you get fucked during the ads and struggle to keep it dribbling out when live" isn't saying much though is it

The Industrial Use Of Semen Will Revolutionise The Human Race is more on the nose
 
S

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
There’s the safeness of it- these women aren’t going intimidate you or go shag some bloke better looking than you. Again, it’s a mum-son nurturing, unconditional love relationship applies to a pornofied sexuality.
 
S

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
The thing of imposing the sexuality on these wholesome women is basically reimagining a virgin fetish for blokes with an Oedipal complex
 
versh

versh

Well-known member
I thought of Corpse when I opened the thread tbh. I can picture him sat on a sofa in some quaint, little village with This Morning on, leering at the telly whenever Holly Willoughby appears.
 
S

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
There’s a lowered expectations baked into this, which is important. You’re not going to fly to LA and shag sone starlet, but if you’re lucky you might be able to tug one out to some side boob of a semi-famous menopausal woman.
 
Murphy

Murphy

cat malogen
a coddled generation

Lamb's Navy Run had Caroline Munro in a swimsuit, you had to buy booze for the guilt, ingenious
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top