Wash vs Mr f6ckin Tea soundclash

Mr. Tea

"can't soundclash" according to a VERY HARD MAN


This is a nice bit of motorik that I was thinking of posting in @IdleRich's motorik thread, although the full track is 22 minutes long and this is just a snipped.

Edit: you can't see from the embedded video but the artist is K-X-P.


Cat Malogen
You know what I'm really excellent at, Athelwold?

Not being a cripplingly insecure man-child in his sixth decade still trying, and failing, to prove himself one of the big boys in the playground of life.

you know what I don’t do Wurzel?

repeatedly snipe from the sidelines like someone with at least two Leveller t-shirts tucked away in their war chest of yesteryear, like some hapless butt of every running joke the board has

You’re not very good at this, are you


Cat Malogen
Flying through Tea’s devolved mind, Jesus, what horrors are concealed herein, such foul and diabolical vapours inhabit this fool’s constitution the likes of which even my seasoned soul hath not experienced. If he were poultry, he could not fly. If swine, unable to serve up fine truffles. If a horse, more shrunken pit pony than thoroughbred, blindly swatting at the night’s firmament


Mr. Tea

"can't soundclash" according to a VERY HARD MAN
It's here (apologies for the derailment, I'll vanish now)
Yeah it's fine, I found it in the original thread.

I would normally say "hey don't take over this thread with your own stuff!", but it doesn't really seem to be going anywhere, so whatever.

Is that the NWW vs Stereolab tune about halfway through? Really like that one.


Well-known member
Well then kick it up a notch. Naked mud wrestling? Too much? Ok, you can both wear loincloths.


Cat Malogen
Well, loincloths? Why didn’t you say earlier

To be fair, all Rupert has managed thus far is strawman “old, gay and insecure” as slights. Is this it? Never had Rupert down as Gus 2.0

Rupert was offered the chance to get creative with some tunes, redemption from shit talking elsewhere and can’t even actualise said challenge, unless an Ableton enabled dub-plate is imminent ….



Cat Malogen
Rupert’s emasculation knows no limits but its imagination sadly does. Rupert will pimp a quip quicker than stoop for a shroom, not matter how degrading the outcomes, maybe there’s a quip lined up here too

Rupert continues failing at the basic rudimentary art of a soundclash, think my work here is done, that is unless he wants to keep running his imbecile mouth, a mouth that’s genuinely not helping any actual cause


Mr. Tea

"can't soundclash" according to a VERY HARD MAN
I've posted some tunes I actually like, you keep posting The Wurzels.

I can only assume you actually like The Wurzels.



Cat Malogen
If in doubt, follow Rupert’s golden rule - post a gif

from one old cunt to a much younger omnishambles

it might be love



Well-known member
I'm heckling from the audience because it's no fun watching a one sided contest

as someone who has watched a few soundclash videos I'm frustrated here

it doesn't really seem to be going anywhere

because there are unwritten rules to soundclash

@IdleRich has the right idea about how these things should play out

In my mind it should work by one of you picking a tune and then the other responding with a tune that is somehow relevant (admittedly I'm not totally sure how it should be relevant - I guess I don't really know how it would work) to that but which somehow beats it, by being better or maybe by having lyrics that insult or.... I don't fucking know, but somehow, and then the first person retaliates with another

@Mr. Tea - ... as a casual bystander with "no skin in the game", etc., I'll offer you a hint...

You have to engage in some "banter" but then you've got to back it up with a tune with a relevant message - if you call the opposition "a cripplingly insecure man-child" then play a tune that rams that message home... have fun with your selection

You could have played this:

Neneh Cherry - Manchild

manchild, will you ever win?
manchild, look at the state you're in

or this if you want to go with "teh ghey" slurs:

Divine - You Think You're A Man

you think you're a man
but you're only a boy

If you get called a wurzel then throw back some "men in tights" and "merry men" taunts about Sherwood Forest

or you could go for the @IdleRich suggestion and go for the throat

like if one of you drew for a punk tune called "You are a cunt"

Anti-Nowhere League - So What ****

So what
So what
you boring little cunt

who cares
who cares
about you


**** allegedly true story - I used to score acid off some punks who told me they once saw Anti-Nowhere League supporting the Damned and a bottle fight broke out between band and audience and the ANL won hands down

edit: also I wouldn't really recommend playing the ANL tune as it is offensive, and the "I sucked an old man's cock, so what?" line could be used as ammunition against whoever draws for that tune in a clash ( not that it really matters if that is what you're into, we're all adults here, etc., )

edit: I'm drunk already, this post may disappear within minutes....or hours, depends