The other day I left my book on the train coming back from squash; I had so much stuff (rackets, balls, phone wallet, ticket etc) and every stop I would sort of pat myself down to check it all... but at the final stop I overlooked the book somehow and realised that I was one down on the count just as I walked out of the station.
I thought it was gone for good but that I may as well ring lost property next day and, to my surprise, someone (thank you thank you thank you) had handed it in and it was at the lost property office in Villa Franca where it would remain for thirty days, or until I picked it up, whichever came first.
And it came to pass that a week or so later i had a spare afternoon so I drove to Villa Franca, it's actually a bit of a ball-ache cos it takes about thirty minutes on the motorway and you have to pay tolls each way, but I really wanted to see how the book finished, so off I went. The station is a nightmare to find cos it's all one-way roads and zero signposts but eventually about 6pm I got there, and even after spending aaaaaaages trying to find a parking spot there was still plenty of time, the thing on the website said it would be open until 10pm... except it wasn't, everything was shut except for the machines, so I swore a bit and drove back home,
Two weeks later, time getting tight (admittedly ticking down quite slowly), I thought I'd have another go at around midday so it would be open. This time drove along the river through all the villages avoiding the tolll... but it took ages and ages before I arrived, crawling for hours behind really slow lorries which I guess were also avoiding the toll. Again found the station and managed to park within about 3km so all good, walked down there pleased to know I'd soon have my book, Except the info/help/lost-property office was closed again!
But there is a bloke at the ticket window, I try him and instantly he's not pleased... with bad grace he eventually gets up and walks the 3m to the other side of the office which contains the lost property window - and the lost property bag itself. He rummages around half-heartedly and pulls out a book wrapped in white paper "Is it Iain Pears, The Dream of Scipio?" turns out it is - fuck yeah! But no, jobsworth is just getting started - you can't just hand out books to strangers who turn up at the window like that. He demands an ID - in vain I point out that they don't know who left the book so whoever I identify myself as is irrelevant. I point out that I knew the title of the book... does he think that two people lost the book in Santa Iria station in the last thirty days? Possibly a mad book thief has heard a rumour that this book has been lost and is now making a play to steal this book (that cost 50p from a London charity shop) for himself. I just don't understand how ID fits into this scenario but he will not see reason.... and then I remember, of course, I have my driving licence in my wallet, I use it all the time as ID when I go to the post office and pick up deliveries I've missed. Saved!
But jobsworth isn't giving up without a fight, turns out he has one more trick up his sleeve - he says only a passport will do to in a situation with such high stakes and in which anyone (well anyone who really wanted a second hand copy of a readily available book and who knew that one had been lost at Santa Iria, and who was prepared to fake a driving licence - but not a passport - to get it) could trick him into releasing the prize to the wrong person.
Again I beg him, I point out that this is the second time I've come to the station and that by now I've spent something like three hours trying to get the book, I say it's not fair that the actual lost property thing is never open even though is a sign on it that I can see right now saying that it should be open at this moment. I say that I use the driving licence as ID quite often in much more serious circumstances. He's having none of it, he says he physically cannot release the book unless he fills in the correct form correctly and it must have my passport number on it. Checkmate.
Then he kinda mutters under his breath and fills out a different form - not really fills out, he just passes it to me and I sign - and then he gives me the book, turns out that was possible after all.
So yeah, I got it, it felt a slightly pyrrhic victory really, shoulda just ordered a new copy.