films you've seen recently and would NOT recommend

[version]

It's hilarious that film, Luke would love it. King Arthur does geezer banter.

 

[IdleRich]

Exactly. There isn't really a marijuana factory though, I made that up. Although ti wouldn't have been out of place.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Goofs
Several times the country was called England. Arthur was King of Britain and the Britons. England was formed by the invading Anglo Saxons several centuries later.

 

[shakahislop]

i watched the start of that Portrait Of A Lady On Fire film, everyone seems to love it, but I thought it was incredibly boring. lasted an hour and turned it off, gave it a second go, turned it off almost straight away. I do not recommend this film

 

[version]

i watched the start of that Portrait Of A Lady On Fire film, everyone seems to love it, but I thought it was incredibly boring. lasted an hour and turned it off, gave it a second go, turned it off almost straight away. I do not recommend this film

The second half makes up for the slowness of the first, imo; some absolutely devastating moments. Also a film which actually makes digital look good.

 

[shakahislop]

The second half makes up for the slowness of the first, imo; some absolutely devastating moments. Also a film which actually makes digital look good.

yeah i assumed that something must happen at some point! and that slow burn can be totally worth it sometimes. on what it looks like though, that was something i found offputting. it looks (presumably deliberately given the subject matter) like early 19th / 18th century painting. which i mostly experience as something i walk past at galleries on my way to the more modern stuff, i don't really like it.

that has nothing to do with the digitalness of it, just that although its very much a thought through aesthetic, its one that i don't like, provokes resistance in me

 

[version]

The absence of any sort of music for the bulk of it's partly why it drags, but it's done so that on the couple of occasions when you do hear some it has a real impact.

 

[william_kent]

Suspiria ( 2018 )

Not so much a remake, more of a film that shares the same title and one line synopsis, "American girl goes to foreign dance school". The setting of the original namesake is transposed to Germany, the psychedelic colour palette is swapped for grim greyscale with a hint of gangrene green, the classic Goblin soundtrack replaced by the weedy whining of Thom Yorke. The try too hard attempt to situate the action in time is hammered home by the continual background references to the 1977 Lufthansa flight 181 hijacking and the demands for the release of the RAF prisoners but, as this is tangential to whatever plot exists, remains an ultimately pointless exercise. There is also a completely irrelevant sub-plot involving a psychiatrist racked with guilt for not saving his wife from internment in a concentration camp. The screenwriter thinks he is Gunter Grass?

It was sort of watchable for some of the time, but an attempt at a twist in the tale resulted in a mess of a movie.

The only saving grace is Tilda Swinton, channeling Marina Abramovic, as the dance instructor who comes out with classic lines like "It's not how high you jump, it's the space between you and the ground that counts".

 

[IdleRich]

Yesterday there was a film on telly called Burnt with Bradley Cooper playing a rock n roll type chef. Less a film than a procession of embarrassing clichés lazily strung together. Cooper plays the singularly unlikeable chef under the illusion that being a twat is the same as having a personality and his rants about art and passion in cooking provide an unintentionally ironic counterpoint to the insipid and bland stew they are serving up.

You have to wonder if at any point anyone felt slightly embarrassed about the contrast between the lectures in the film and the half-arsed effort they were turning out. Even without that, some of the lines they put in the main character's mouth were so incredibly hackneyed I don't understand how no-one on the whole production stepped in shouting "Come on everyone we're better than this". I just don't get how things like this happen. Don't people care even a little bit about what they do?

 

[DLaurent]

I tried and failed to watch the new Suspiria.

Here's a question, is Sorcerer really that good? I think I have listed in top 10s and recommended it before, so I thought I watch it with my sister on our weekly film night. Told her it was good but took a while to get going.

We ended up watching it in two goes.

The first hour was really disjointed as I remember it, and then the second hour, there's two memorable scenes; the bridge crossing which is actually a bit cheesy, and then the brilliant set piece where he cuts a pocket out of a blokes trousers to make a sand time to blow up a fallen tree blocking their path... but other than that, hardly anything of note in the film and me and my sister/brother in law were all disappointed after my glowing recommendation.

 

[luka]

yeah its brilliant i think i might have watched it cos u told us too

 

[version]

Here's a question, is Sorcerer really that good? I think I have listed in top 10s and recommended it before, so I thought I watch it with my sister on our weekly film night. Told her it was good but took a while to get going.

We ended up watching it in two goes.

The first hour was really disjointed as I remember it, and then the second hour, there's two memorable scenes; the bridge crossing which is actually a bit cheesy, and then the brilliant set piece where he cuts a pocket out of a blokes trousers to make a sand time to blow up a fallen tree blocking their path... but other than that, hardly anything of note in the film and me and my sister/brother in law were all disappointed after my glowing recommendation.

The red fire of the oil well against the lush green of the jungle; the strange, purple section toward the end; the ruthless ending; the Tangerine Dream score; the four character introductions; the palpable heat; the bridge; the dynamite. I loved it.

 

[Clinamenic]

The red fire of the oil well against the lush green of the jungle; the strange, purple section toward the end; the ruthless ending; the Tangerine Dream score; the four character introductions; the palpable heat; the bridge; the dynamite. I loved it.

Well now I need to see it too.

 

[IdleRich]

I've never seen it all the way through... the link I had crashed and I never got round to finding the rest of it. But the way it introduces the four characters - particularly the banker guy - is brilliant I thought. I loved The Wages of Fear so given that I loved a previous telling of the same story and the start of this one I reckon I'll likely enjoy it when I do finally get round to it.

 

[forclosure]

Just seen a film called King Arthur; Legend of the Sword directed by Guy Ritchie - now with that title you might think it was gonna be about the guy in the legend with the round table and Guinivere and Sir Lancelot and so on but actually it turns out to have nothing to do with that whatsoever. No, wait a minute, I'm wrong again, it IS about that King Arthur, it's just that Ritchie has added a few embellishments of his own to the famous legend - and to be honest, I am all for that; if you're making a film of something like this that has been adapted so many times, told and re-told and of which there is surely no totally agreed definitive version, then that means you have plenty of wiggle room for putting your own stamp on it...

But you can understand my confusion when it begins with Arthur growing up a street urchin in a ghetto in Londinium (presumably in the East Endium) where he learns martial arts from a wise old Chinese guy called Kung-Fu George. That's not a joke by the way, I am one hundred percent serious when I tell you that Guy Ritchie's King Arthur grows up running a gang of petty criminals and prostitutes in a ghetto where he also studies kung fu.

Soon after that though, he has pulled the mythical shooter Excalibur from out of a stone and he's found a tasty bunch of cockernee knights to help him do over the local mob boss and demon knight Vortigern - there are two hours of shoot outs, elephants with cities on their back, a giant snake and a humorous mix-up over a marijuana factory before he faces off against the afore-mentioned demon knight, beats him and then - as if Ritchie has just remembered what story he's telling - he builds a round table right at the end. It's bollocks.

it still blows my mind that they planned on making 6 movies out of this

 

[Clinamenic]

Just watched the ninth Fast and Furious film, a franchise which I've grown to admire for its unbridled testosterone and absurd stunts. In a way its what I'd imagine a franchise-length WWE soap opera to be like, and much of it is quite enjoyable. That said, this last one I thought was a flop. The formula of some world-threatening techno macguffin can only be dialed up so many times. Maybe Dom Toretto needs a new foe altogether, like clinical depression or something.

 

[Clinamenic]

Plus, Dwayne Johnson was absent from this installment, and sorely missed. This scene, from the seventh installment, I think captures the ethos of the franchise (Just the first 1:20)

 

[forclosure]

Plus, Dwayne Johnson was absent from this installment, and sorely missed. This scene, from the seventh installment, I think captures the ethos of the franchise (Just the first 1:20)

i liked 7 although my relationship with this series of films has been wonky to say the least as much as people might enjoy these movies i think its safe to say that anybody who thought Fast and Furious would have 9 movies (10 if you count that Hobbes & Shaw thing) is a blasted liard

i dunno @Clinamenic i feel like now with these movies the cinephile dorks have turned on these movies at around the point in time when general movie watchers are now really like them whereas before it was the opposite, 5 was definitly the big turning point.

 

[forclosure]

WWE have produced more than a few movies so maybe that might be the next step for you Clina, would be fun to see your thoughts on stuff like The Marine,See no evil and all that other stuff

it's all about Dave Batista these days, people sort of cottoned on to how The Rock is one of those guys whose all about "protecting his brand" and using his image to sell shit

 

[forclosure]

on a somewhat related note i tried to watch Sabotage yesterday (The director David Ayer was one of the writers on the first Fast and Furious)

might be the most grotesquely American movie i've seen in a while and it probably wouldn't have come off so absurd if it wasn't so straightfaced about it(Ayer has a sense of humor but he lacks wit)

this was kinda funny its such a gym dickhead insult, the kind of thing @Corpsey would try to come up with but he'd overthink it,fuck it up and try to claim the fuck up as intentional