What is the first thing you remember sticking up your arse?

Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
WashYourHands said:
On holiday in France once, had seafood, steak frites and other bbq protein cuts a fuckload of wine with v little roughage. An ensuing constipation began that beggars belief. Every time I tried to go over the following day it was like trying to pass a boulder sideways.

Couldnt find any laxatives, feeling got more and more uncomfortable so I got a stick, pushed like fuck and by breaking the stool in half finally got the deed done. Yes you read that correctly - I gently inserted a piece of tree in to break up and force out the horror brick.

You’re the first to know.
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Reminds me of when I got back from a week-long school trip to France, and it occurred to me that I hadn't done a shit the whole time. I hadn't felt ill or been intentionally holding it in - I just got home and did a week's worth of shit in one go.

I mentioned this to my mother and she asked me why I thought it had happened. All I could think of was "I guess my poo is too good for France."
 
WashYourHands

WashYourHands

Cat Malogen
Wasn’t there a thing on here with a man who never shat and his gigantic bowel is on display? Was in a circus or equivalent roadshow. Something that can’t be unseen.
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
WashYourHands said:
Wasn’t there a thing on here with a man who never shat and his gigantic bowel is on display? Was in a circus or equivalent roadshow. Something that can’t be unseen.
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The worst thing about that, for me, is the idea of what it must have felt like to the touch. Hard. Dry. Dense. Compacted. Grainy. :(
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
I notified Mr Bottom that this thread was still live... he read through it and, although he has lost his password, he did say the following.
Far as I can see most of the responses, such as Ollie's, are still squirming with wit in attempts to avoid answering a rather simple question. Wonder what he has to hide (and where he hides it)?
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