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Arab Nazi
Not The Blood On Satan's Claw? Plot doesn't sound the same but that is a pretty terrible film about a claw - there can't be too many of them can there?
what the fuck? blood on satan's claw is a GREAT film. one of my favourite british horror movies.
there are as many varieties of bad as there are good so worst is hard to define...there are lame community made films such as Don Dohler's, or The Strangeness or somethin... but they are not without charm...the german gore fanflix (violent shit, the bloody moon etc) are terrible by any reasonable standard...but very gory...and therefore entertaining...a film like Winterbeast takes ineptitude to a level of surrealistic incoherence that is pretty engaging...in a way. anything involving the polonia brothers is guaranteed to be absolutely brutal to endure all the way through...i remember reading in a review somewhere, "the polonia brothers have broken my soul"...which about covers it...you can take your pick there. good god there's so many i could mention...what have i done with my life? the ones that stand out recently are:
The Conqueror.
A long term pet project of John Wayne's, starring him as Genghis Khan in the least convincing piece of historical acting ever filmed. Walking around in a funny hat and referring to (blonde!) Susan Hayward throughout as, "Tartar Woman", JW is just staggeringly bad in this, and the mock historical dialogue is absurd. You have to see it to believe it, and then you have to stab yourself in the leg every five minutes or so to stop yourself falling asleep once the initial shock has worn off. This was grindingly harsh to make it through. i had to get very drunk indeed. There's some suggestion that the filming location near a nuclear test site contributed to the unusually high subsequent deaths of cancer among cast/crew members, and if it's true they all deserved it.
Kindergarten Ninja.
DEA funded kung-fu spoof of the Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy. yup. this has got the highest ratio of "training montage" to film yet recorded. it's close enough to an hour montage of dudes (and kids of course) hitting punchbags and poncing about in karate suits in fields etc. they fit some sort of plot about a street drug called something really silly i have thankfully forgotten in little slivers inbetween...
oh and there aren't any ninjas in it. unless i wasn't paying attention.
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